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Thread: His family hates me and hes been ignoring me. (Long post)

  1. #1

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    His family hates me and hes been ignoring me. (Long post)

    Hi, as you know from the title, I've been having problems with my boyfriend. If I can even call him that anymore. I've asked help in other forums because I really need help.

    I'll start in the beginning. Five years ago I met him. We became best friends. We were inseparable. Ever since I met him, I've loved him. Later, he confessed. We have been by each other's side since then. He showed so much affection towards me. He was always there in my bad times. We've had arguments, but those were nothing. He even said he was gonna marry me one day. Now, hes changed.

    Everything was fine, until we had to visit his family. He says he doesn't like to visit because he had problems with his brothers and his dad is barely home. His mother never stopped calling him. After a while, he was convinced to go and visit. Of course he wanted me to go. I was glad to go just to see him happy. After hours of driving, we arrived. You'd think the house would be a normal house or a middle class house. Instead, it was huge. I didn't think he'd be rich, but I don't care if he is. As soon as I got in that house, I got dirty looks while he received smiles and hugs. I didn't blame them, I am stranger. I could tell it was a big family and they seemed to have many friends. All of them looked happy to see him. His brothers or dad weren't there. He wanted me to meet his mom first. We did and again, I got a dirty look. She looked at me and her smile disappeared. She talked to me in a bad or disgusted manner. The whole night, I felt out of place. I was just in the corner sitting awkwardly. Then came along his sister, who kept looking at me and laughing. I could have been home reading or watching Jjba, but no, I was there. Another wierd part I noticed, is whenever he tried to talk to me, he was interrupted by someone. But he was happy. Thats the only part I liked.

    He decided he wanted to stay for a while and meet up with some friends.

    As much as I didn't want that, he just wanted to catch up with his family and friends and there was nothing wrong with that. Besides, if those people didn't like me, well too bad. I could care less. I was just there for my boyfriend. Yes, I did talk to him about what happened and he said that his family sometimes acted like that, but to not worry about it, because he would always be with me. He kinda was. He would always have me at his side and all that.

    He met up with some of his old friends. Three of them to be specific. Ever since then he's been kinda ignoring me. It's fine to spend time with them, but I barely see him anymore. He doesn't respond to my messages or calls. So I'm here like "What am I still doing here?". He pushed me aside and those friends of his are annoying. I'd hate to be the kind of girl who never lets her boyfriend hang out and make him choose between her or his friends. But this is kinda annoying. Maybe I'm overreacting.

    Last week his mother came up to me and told me I didn't deserve her son. Maybe I'm not overreacting. He's also been overly attached to his mom. Nothing wrong with that.....I guess?

    When I do see him, hes quiet and sometimes tells me to shut up. Theres this one guy who really annoys me. Lets call him Donovan. We've interacted before and we really don't like eachother. He has a mean attitude towards me. What seems sketchy to me is that he is a bit flirty.

    With him, My supposed boyfriend.

    I'm a bit pissed out. Again, I asked myself what I was still doing there. He wasn't acting like himself. I still love him. He would've never let this happen. He was protective of me before. Why not now?

    His family hating me and him ignoring me is not the only part of this mess.

    Last Sunday morning, I had just gotten out of church. I needed to confront him. I went out looking for him. He was gonna go out with his friends again. He was with Donovan. Next thing I know is that Donovan he leaned in for a kiss....

    I just watched the love of my life being kissed by another man. I didn't cause a scene, I just walked away. Should I be angry or sad? Am I part of one of those k-dramas I watch? This whole thing thing just feels like a fever dream or a telenovela.

    We haven't talked ever since.

    Was he gay this whole time? I remember him saying he's straight. I understand why men wouldn't like to be with women, but I'm just saying cause I am a woman and not into others. Is he confused? He never liked men. I know he would have told me. Whatever happened to US? If you didn't want to be with me, you could've just told me, like, damn.The thing is I still love him. He never seemed to be into guys. He would always stare at women. I know him very well. He's always told me everything. I still can't confront him. I love him. I don't think I'll be able to let go of him. I think of leaving, but I just can't. It's a bad feeling when you want to be with someone so bad but they don't even like you. He wasn't like this before we went to visit.

    I need advice and I don't know what to do.

    Thanks to anyone who took their time to read this. Should I leave him? Is there a chance to save this relationship? I don't know...

  2. #2
    Gold Member SarahLancaster's Avatar
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    I'm confused. It started out being a problem with his family not liking you, and now you're questioning if he's gay.

    How long were you on this trip? Did you stay at his parents' house?

  3. #3
    Platinum Member reinventmyself's Avatar
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    Wow, that's alot to take in . .and in all of that you still don't know what to do??

    When I do see him, hes quiet and sometimes tells me to shut up.

    This should be the automatic deal breaker here ^^
    The rest just reinforces your need to end it.

    I'm not you, but from where I sit, this one's a no brainer.
    You've carried this story to other forums and still don't know what to do? My guess is they told you the same exact thing.

  4. #4
    Platinum Member Wiseman2's Avatar
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    Were you ever bf and gf? It doesn't sound like it. It also sounds like you come from vastly different cultures.

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  6. #5
    Platinum Member Rose Mosse's Avatar
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    Speak with him about those questions you have regarding your relationship and his sexuality. The way his mother spoke to you was uncalled for unless you've done something in the past to cause her to react that way. Remember that a relationship takes two people who are committed to each other.

  7. #6
    Bronze Member Camber 2019's Avatar
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    For crying out loud, you are not married... get out of this "relationship". Don't beat yourself up about why these people were so strange. Believe me, it's probably best not to go there. RUN!


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