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Thread: Where do I stand with my ex? (Long post)

  1. #11

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    I posted a new thread with it broken up but thank you.

  2. #12
    Platinum Member reinventmyself's Avatar
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    Originally Posted by crownthx
    Well my therapist I've known since high school and he brought his wife into it (it wasn't a separate session) to try and understand what she's doing because it's not like how normal breakups are.
    Maybe that's what you wanted to hear because for ethical reasons therapists don't analyse people they've never met.

    What is a normal break up? One person decides to unilaterally to end the relationship. They often feel torn and still have residual feelings that eventually work themselves out. From there they cut contact and move on either alone or with someone else.

    I am sorry. This isn't a mystery. She have moved on and you are determined to stay behind hanging on and reading things between the lines to continue to do so. Please don't. You just continue to hurt yourself long after this relationship ended.

  3. #13
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    Originally Posted by crownthx
    I'm willing to move forward, but I don't believe this is done because of how she is. She had a failed rebound relationship that threw her in a deeper hole and she's becoming more depressed. I wish I could help and pull her out of it, but I don't want to interfere if she doesn't want me to. I treated her very good and gave her the dream relationship she wanted, but her life took several turns at the end.
    The second half of your first sentence directly contradicts the first half.

    So what you're saying is she is incapable of making decisions for herself and needs you to "help" her run her own life.

  4. #14

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    I'm bad with words my bad lol when I write them down it doesn't come out how I was thinking it.

    What I meant

    She's in a bad place right now and I want to help her, but if she doesn't want it I'm going to just not contact her or anything until she reaches out again. I will be moving on with my life the longer it takes. If that makes more sense

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  6. #15
    Platinum Member Rose Mosse's Avatar
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    Deleted (not relevant).

  7. #16

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    Also there is something I left out. When I last saw her she brought up not bringing my shirt and next time she can give it to me. She practically said she wanted to see me again. It's confusing

  8. #17
    Platinum Member Wiseman2's Avatar
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    Sorry this is happening. Try to step way back from this for awhile. Don't try to fix, change or 'cheer her up' for your own sake. Give yourself room to reflect away from the chaos of it all and particularly her social media. Unfortunately you need to consider that this guy has been in and out of the picture for quite some time and not as a 'best friend'. No therapists can read her mind particularly since it's a third hand account from you. As well, from your description it's hard to know what she's thinking, but there is a lot of mention of this other guy, so think about that.

  9. #18

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    Well at first I was thinking maybe they are starting a relationship, but my gut feeling tells me there's no substance to it. Everyone that knows us believe she's trying to make me jealous to get me to talk to her. Thank you for a reply that wasn't just move on there's no hope lol. I'm going to give her space and I treated her how she always wanted to be treated and every guy she dated before me treated her bad. I really do believe she broke up with me because of tensions in her household and her depression getting to her. Do you think she'll regret it in the future? I haven't freaked out and I've been very mature about the breakup with her.

  10. #19
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    How old are you guys? Sorry but to me the whole thing sounds a bit immature. Your ex-girlfriend sounds childish and attention seeking. You'd been together for a couple of years but during that time she had already broken up with you a few times. This had been an on and off relationship basically from the start.

    Every time she breaks up with you, she keeps playing games and keeping you hanging on while she's also seeing other guys. And she likes to make a show of seeing other guys because she keeps telling you about it. I don't think she loves you because when you love someone you don't treat them like this. I think she just loves attention and having guys fighting over her. She also likes to keep her options open. She's trying to create jealousy by dangling the other guy in front of you. She might be doing the same thing to him too.

    Also I'm not sure how old you are but it seems like your relationship was largely based around social media. It was all Snapchat this and Snapchat that and what she said about you on Facebook, etc. Like putting so much value on if she saw your Snapchat or how she reacted to it and so on. I know social media is huge now but it seems like you both put so much value on electronic communication. A relationship needs a more solid ground and time in person. Sorry if this is rude but it all just seems pretty immature and juvenile to me. Especially how she's behaving sounds like she's still in high school.

  11. #20

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    We're 20. To clarify on the first time we broke up, it was because I was distant and not being as good of a boyfriend as I was being and I told her I'd change, I didn't and she broke up with me. She realized she does love me and we got back together. After that I took a semester off college and we were going on plenty of dates and doing a bunch of things we've wanted to do. She lives an hour away from me so we couldn't see each other as often as most couples but we did at least once a week. She started to get depressed and she wanted help and she went to therapy and her friends ridiculed her for it and it demoralized her from going so she didn't get what she wanted fixed and I guess it built up enough to where it's effecting more than just her feelings. She's going out drinking and not being responsible at work taking most of the week off anymore. That isn't like her. When we were together we were pretty responsible and took everything seriously, but her moving out of her parents house finally might've just let the freedom get to her but I truly don't know.

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