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Thread: Like a girl in another country, stuck/need advice

  1. #1

    Like a girl in another country, stuck/need advice

    Hi everyone. So I've been talking to this girl for about 4 months on Facebook (met on a dating site) via messages. We've had 2 phone calls recently which we both seemed to like. I asked her if she wanted to have a video chat date with me and she said she doesn't think she is ready for that and she doesn't like video chats. I don't know how she feels about me, but I have feelings for her and would like to talk another way in addition to just through FB texting. We both live in different countries and meeting up isn't really an option anytime soon. Does anyone have any advice on how I can try to connect with her other than texting since she said she doesn't like /not ready for video chatting? And how can I find out if she has feelings for me without making her uncomfortable?

  2. #2
    Platinum Member Wiseman2's Avatar
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    Unfortunately it sounds like a scammer, catfish, someone who isn't what they portray or someone who is in a relationship. Cut this off before they a start asking for money or you get sucked in any further.
    Originally Posted by Australian17
    So I've been talking to this girl for about 4 months on Facebook (met on a dating site) via messages. We both live in different countries and meeting up isn't really an option anytime soon. Does anyone have any advice on how I can try to connect with her other than texting since she said she doesn't like /not ready for video chatting?

  3. #3
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    Hi,

    I would tread carefully. You donít know if her reasoning for not video chatting is that sheís shy or catfishing you. I wouldnít get too emotionally invested over someone you havenít met in person.

    I was in a cyber type relationship with someone who only lived a state away. I got attached and basically wasted a year of planning and dreaming and getting feelings. I soon found out when he and I did meet, it was one sided, he didnít feel the same after meeting me. Plus our vibes were very off from each other.

    This is why I now believe you canít get invested unless your face to face. Since you live in different countries and she is fun to talk too, maybe just keep it as that. A nice new friend to get to know.
    I know thatís not what you want to hear, but donít put your heart out there because right now sheís a fantasy. You donít really know her.

    Lisa

  4. #4
    Platinum Member SherrySher's Avatar
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    Do you have money to go to where she is or her to you? If you did happen to manage to visit is it possible for either one of you to move to where the other one is?

    It takes a large amount of money not only to visit but to move.

    If these aren't options to you, you are wasting your time and will create a very frustrating situation that has no solution to it.

    There's not much point. It makes more sense to try to find someone in the same country as you if you're not able to move.

    And yes, be careful with someone who is not wanting to cam, they could be lying about who they are.

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  6. #5
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    Be careful, it might be a scam, unfortunately these dating sites are full of fake profiles. If she starts asking for money, stop texting her.

  7. #6
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    There must be some nice Australian girls who live nearby. Why did you deliberately attach yourself to a girl you're not likely to ever see in person? Are you avoiding a real, in person relationship for some reason?

  8. #7
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    This is not a good idea to pursue.

    If she's so shy she won't show her face live on web cam, and neither of you can visit the other any time soon, you are wasting your time. It's too hard to make things work under these circumstances, particularly when you currently don't actually know who you are talking to.

    Don't get your hopes up on this one, OP.

  9. #8
    Platinum Member melancholy123's Avatar
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    Listen to all of the above advice. You dont know her. She may be a he! People can be and are scammers, catfishers and plain old liars. Find a girl near where you live, have face to face meetings in person. You've got a fantasy going on in your head and it can bite you in the butt if you are not careful.


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