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Thread: Reinforced emptiness, loneliness, and lack of inspiration. What do you do?

  1. #1
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    Reinforced emptiness, loneliness, and lack of inspiration. What do you do?

    Recent separation, and other events, have reminded me how empty, lonely, and uninspired I really am.

    I used to study and play guitar in college, but the pressure led me to back out of the program. Would spend a lot of time exploring art, music, and other mediums of expression and entertainment. I now work a job in e-commerce, doing nothing I feel strongly passionate about. I had been seeing someone, who helped motivate me to play guitar again, it had been a nice 10 months of off and on enjoyment of each other's company and warmth. She recently moved on from me after finishing architecture school and decided to see someone else and close off contact. It's hard to not think that she found someone living a better life. It's a real punch to the gut. I mean, I understand her decision, but I really did try to bring art and creativity back into my life.

    All of my family and friends have significant others and I keep losing mine either to someone else, or to circumstance. I'm having difficulties finding a new job because my current place of employment stresses me out so much I'm afraid I won't be able to handle anything different I get myself into. I had to take a personal day this week because my emotional intelligence is fading and it's having an affect on my performance at work. I spend my off days withdrawn and agoraphobic, where getting coffee becomes a struggle in terms of motivation. I can't play guitar for more than 20 minutes without asking myself "What's the point?" Usually I would go and get a new tattoo for catharsis and also because I enjoy tattoos. This last week I got one and still felt nothing. I'll sit in my room and maybe cry for about 10 minutes before falling back into numbness.


    I don't know to change my life currently. Going to the gym is fun, but I can't sty mentally motivated enough to do it every week. I avoid talking to my friends and loved ones about this because I find it unfair to pull someone so happy into the depths of my sorrows. Is there anyway I can utilize this negativity and harness it into something beautiful or am I too far deep?

    I've visited a counselor multiple times in my life and am a firm believer of the benefits. I'm just struggling this time around to go back. It costs money and time, which I sometimes have very little of. What do you all do when you feel succumbed to your inner demons?

  2. #2
    Platinum Member reinventmyself's Avatar
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    Seeing this breakup is so very new, my advise at this point is to do nothing. Anything other than just getting through the day is the only thing that's expected of you.
    Process the grief. Sit in the middle of it and let it go through you.

    Don't punish yourself needlessly about all the other things that you can't do at this very moment.
    Break ups - break you.
    Be kind to yourself. One day, one moment at a time. The rest will be there when you're ready.

    And if you got something out of therapy before, you find the time and money to do so.
    Funny how when people want a new couch, they find a way to get one, finance it or otherwise. But therapy? People can get hung up with million excuses to not make a worthwhile investment in your own emotional well being.

  3. #3
    Platinum Member Wiseman2's Avatar
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    Sorry this is happening. While it may be the blues, it could be something else. get to a doctor for a checkup. At that time be honest about the helplessness, hopelessness, listlessness, ruminating and inertia. You may need medical management. Definitely get some short term talk therapy to help you navigate out of this abyss and start feeling more motivated and less stressed.

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    Platinum Member Rose Mosse's Avatar
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    This may sound a bit fruit loops but when the demons want to play, I play. What I mean is that if you have inner thoughts and concerns that are swirling and not allowing you rest, it's usually a good idea to recognize them and learn how to work through them. Your first line of defense in any uncertain territory is sensory perception and perception of your world around you. I don't think emotional intelligence or any form of intelligence is possible without it. You're working against yourself when you ignore the demons. I tend to believe they've always been on my side and just a flip of the other side of the coin.

    Stay in touch with yourself.

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  6. #5
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    I hope the below helps you.

    When I was going through a really tough time... Well, in the short term, life seemed bleak. I didn't know if I'd be able to cope with it. Like sinking into a black hole. Anyway, picture a huge flight of stairs. Initially climbing only one step for me was a huge undertaking. But in time, it got easier and easier.

    One step at a time. And do not worry about tomorrow, for tomorrow will worry about itself.

    Guess what? In the long term, I was okay. And you'll be okay, too.


    Wishing you strength and peace through this!

  7. #6
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    I'm just trying to get through these next couple weeks before I take a small vacation back to my hometown to get away from it all. Hopefully some outside perspective can help a bit.

  8. #7
    Platinum Member DancingFool's Avatar
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    What you are describing sounds like a bad case of depression that's been going on for quite a long time. I think you would do well to actually see a doctor and get a proper evaluation. Feeling down and sad sometimes or after a break up is normal. However, you've been low, unmotivated and down and out for much too long, even well before this girl, this relationship, this break up. Also, it's not like you haven't been trying to snap out of it. You have been, however, you keep sinking lower. So better seek professional help before you end up completely in the ditch, unemployed, unable to get out of bed, etc. Time to get proper help.

  9. #8
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    A small vacation to your home town sounds just like what the doctor ordered. How are you doing today?

  10. #9
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    Feeling better a bit, had a few off days to recalibrate


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