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Thread: Hair Style on Dating Profiles

  1. #21
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    These women have no tact or class. I would never say those things to a friend.

  2. #22
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    Originally Posted by Hollyj
    These women have no tact or class. I would never say those things to a friend.
    Agreed, I could pick someone apart inside and out if I wanted to, I never have. That's generally good advice, to never give advice on such matters as body image and such unless asked for it.

  3. #23
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    Originally Posted by asalways
    You raise good points, the reason why I am so sensitive to other opinions is there is the mantra of "we like you for who you are, just be yourself" which then turns into "but you should do this, that and the other". That's a good coin metaphor, 2 sides to the story. It's not just the hair thing, I've had this happen to me for a very long time. Even at 25, I've had women tell me how nice my arms and calves are, but that stomach, what a disgrace. So I took care of that, and then came the gold and jewelry I like to wear, yuck, that's so gross and conceited. And now the hair lol, so yeah, it's a sequence of events, if it were just the hair, it would be the first strike, perhaps I wouldn't react so strongly towards it. I don't feel women have it in for me, and I don't take it as personal attacks, but when I ask around in my social circle about if someone they know is single, and they reply with how I should change, that's not cool.

    How the dating profile fits in, is I was wondering how the fuller hair would be interpreted.

    In response to Hollyj, why I created the thread, was because I was curious about the jealousy perspective versus the style perspective. Of course I have no intention of changing, I've been changing to conform to others all my life, everyone's got their stopping point. So ok, the consensus is the chance of jealousy is very low, and it is indeed a matter of style. I accept both. Thanks!
    Yes, I agree that this is about these people having no tact or class. I think though consider whether you've asked in some way for feedback -it also might be partly a miscommunication.

  4. #24
    Platinum Member Wiseman2's Avatar
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    You may be better off not asking them about single prospects or dating advice. Don't bring it up. By bringing it up you are opening Pandora's box and inviting all sorts of comments, suggestions, etc. Anyone who brings up the I'm single and looking card will get that. They may also fix you up with any desperate single women they may know which could get quite messy.


    Make your own dating life happen through quality dating apps, social activities such as clubs, groups, classes, courses, volunteering, etc. It's odd these advice-giving women with bald husbands never invite you to parties or social events where you could in fact mingle with more people. Yeah, broaden your circle if bald guys and nosy women are all that's in it. Make some single friends.
    Originally Posted by asalways
    Their comments roll in when the topic of relationships come up and they find out that I am single. I only ask around if they know anyone single who matches my criteria.

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  6. #25
    Platinum Member bluecastle's Avatar
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    Originally Posted by asalways
    You raise good points, the reason why I am so sensitive to other opinions is there is the mantra of "we like you for who you are, just be yourself" which then turns into "but you should do this, that and the other". That's a good coin metaphor, 2 sides to the story. It's not just the hair thing, I've had this happen to me for a very long time. Even at 25, I've had women tell me how nice my arms and calves are, but that stomach, what a disgrace. So I took care of that, and then came the gold and jewelry I like to wear, yuck, that's so gross and conceited. And now the hair lol, so yeah, it's a sequence of events, if it were just the hair, it would be the first strike, perhaps I wouldn't react so strongly towards it. I don't feel women have it in for me, and I don't take it as personal attacks, but when I ask around in my social circle about if someone they know is single, and they reply with how I should change, that's not cool.

    How the dating profile fits in, is I was wondering how the fuller hair would be interpreted.
    Is this the actual language being used by women you know? Did they point at your stomach and say, "What a disgrace!"? Did they point at your jewelry and say, "Yuck! Conceited!"? If so, if this is your social circle, I'd consider expanding. I'd also question why you'd want such people to set you up with anyone they know, since odds are high that you'll be set up with someone who is, well, pretty awful.

  7. #26
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    Originally Posted by bluecastle
    Is this the actual language being used by women you know? Did they point at your stomach and say, "What a disgrace!"? Did they point at your jewelry and say, "Yuck! Conceited!"? If so, if this is your social circle, I'd consider expanding. I'd also question why you'd want such people to set you up with anyone they know, since odds are high that you'll be set up with someone who is, well, pretty awful.
    Sad to say, those were the exact words, that's why they stuck to me so hard. You guys bring up great points about expanding my social circle. I think that's the whole problem, I've been circling around the same tired people. Exactly, why did they give me all these comments without actually doing something that will help me by giving me actual contacts, is a great question. Honestly, I never thought about the fact that the people they'd recommend, could be coming from the same mindset. So why I even kept pushing the subject with these people, that's on me, I should not have.
    One thing you guys brought up was, to meet new people, outside of my circle, and not limit myself. I think that is extremely valuable advice.

    I'll search for some Meetup events and start going over there, and other interests groups. Thanks, this is great advice.

  8. #27
    Platinum Member DancingFool's Avatar
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    When multiple people in your social circle are commenting on your appearance, it's either because you don't fit very well into that social circle and they are trying to make you conform or you have some good honest friends who are actually trying to help you. Unfortunately, only you can figure out which is which. Either these people aren't really your tribe and you need to go make new friends and find where you do fit in better or some personal changes would be good for you.

    When people say just be yourself, they don't mean be stagnant. Personal growth is important in every aspect of your life.

  9. #28
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    Agreed, a change of scenery is definitely in the works in terms of my social circle. Thanks!

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