Facebook share
LinkedIn share
Google plus share
Twitter plus share
Give Advice
Ask For Advice
Page 1 of 2 12 LastLast
Results 1 to 10 of 11

Thread: Normal or not?

  1. #1
    Member
    Join Date
    Apr 2016
    Posts
    58

    Normal or not?

    Hi,

    We were discussing one topic with my friend and I wanted to hear opinions of people here as well.

    Imagine a couple, while they're together, doing something or walking on street or anything and guy or girl looking at others, opposite sex particularly. Either guy is checking other girls or girl is checking other guys. Do you think this is normal or there's something wrong about it?

  2. #2
    Platinum Member SherrySher's Avatar
    Join Date
    May 2016
    Posts
    5,690
    If you're looking at other people as you're walking down a street, everyone does that, more so to notice their surroundings.

    If you're checking women out however, and looking for girls, and you've got a girlfriend, that's just low down.

    Do that if you're single but not the best to do it when you've got someone you supposedly love.

    If you've got a couple both checking people out while they are walking down the street together, why are you a couple? You're not too interested in looking at each other and it sounds as though you're bored with each other.

  3. #3
    Platinum Member Cherylyn's Avatar
    Join Date
    Mar 2019
    Posts
    1,162
    A roving eye shows disrespect to the one you're with and even when their back is turned.

    Guard your eyes, she or he will appreciate it.

    Something called "integrity" is important.

  4. #4
    Platinum Member SherrySher's Avatar
    Join Date
    May 2016
    Posts
    5,690
    Agreed. No one wants a partner who is checking everyone out.

  5.  

  6. #5
    Platinum Member
    Join Date
    Aug 2016
    Posts
    9,153
    Different couples have different boundaries on this, and different definitions of "checking out." While merely looking at an attractive person might be fine for one couple, it could constitute ogling for another.

    As a rule, I think it's best to err on the side of caution and not obviously follow anyone with your eyes when you're with your partner. It's a sign of respect to keep things PG and not ogle.

  7. #6
    Platinum Member Andrina's Avatar
    Join Date
    Jan 2015
    Location
    central Florida
    Posts
    3,583
    Gender
    Female
    As a person in an exclusive relationship and in love, a guy has to be amazing looking for me to take notice, and if my husband was with me, I'd be discreet.

    As for people who make a habit of ogling, I see them as objectifying. It's disrespecting their partner. It's turning their attention on strangers, instead of enjoying their partner's company. It's sometimes a sick need to get an emotional reaction from the stranger they are ogling. I'd never be with a guy who did this.

  8. #7
    Forum Supporter ~Seraphim ~'s Avatar
    Join Date
    Jul 2006
    Location
    Out of suffering have emerged the strongest souls; the most massive characters are seared
    Age
    52
    Posts
    36,799
    Gender
    Female
    The is looking and there is oogling. Thatís different.

  9. #8
    Platinum Member Wiseman2's Avatar
    Join Date
    Apr 2016
    Location
    Cloud Nine
    Posts
    34,844
    Gender
    Male
    If your date/gf is elbowing you, you're being rude. If women are looking back giving you looks you are staring for too long. people watching is normal. Staring, ogling, etc is rude.
    Originally Posted by Random Person
    guy or girl looking at others, opposite sex particularly.Do you think this is normal or there's something wrong about it?

  10. #9
    Platinum Member SherrySher's Avatar
    Join Date
    May 2016
    Posts
    5,690
    Right, like walking down a street, noticing a kid on his bike or noticing an old lady walking her dog or a woman coming down the street.

    You're seeing your surroundings.

    But if you're in a relationship and you're noticing T&A and checking to see if she's pretty and so on, then that's not good and you're not exactly the most decent kind of man.

    Most men do that when they are single, not with a girlfriend or wife at home and especially not by their side. Yes, men do it, but a lot of men (and women!) and jerks and have no respect.

  11. #10
    Platinum Member Rose Mosse's Avatar
    Join Date
    Mar 2019
    Location
    British Columbia, Canada
    Posts
    2,338
    Gender
    Female
    I think this depends on your surroundings and the type of person. I more or less agree with the other members and the differences between observation and ogling (disrespect or disregard for a partner). If it seems to happen frequently you might want to casually bring it up in conversation. I have dated an officer and it's not like he was constantly looking at the opposite sex. He did frequently and constantly keep an eye on everything in a very disconcerting manner. I thought I was observant. He just made it his job all the time which was not really my cup of tea but it is the way he was trained. I never really got used to that type of watchfulness but accepted it as part of him (didn't make any comments about it).

    I also was dating someone where towards the end of the relationship the ogling became a bit difficult to ignore. We broke up about a month after that. It was a serious relationship and the large change in personality or the way the person seemed distracted or not present was very clear to me.

    Having also lived in other parts of the US (husband is from Miami), I think it also depends on culture and different parts of the city. Some places are pretty amusing and the people are more colourful. If you're on vacation or a trip too it may feel like he or both of you are distracted especially with the opposite sex or the way others may be dressed.

    I'd put things into context/perspective and ask yourself if any behaviours have changed in your relationship together or if it's the usual for a person to be generally watchful and whether you're just more sensitive to the watchfulness of the opposite sex, if situations have changed or if you're in a different place.

Page 1 of 2 12 LastLast

Give Advice
Ask For Advice

Tags for this Thread

Posting Permissions

  • You may not post new threads
  • You may not post replies
  • You may not post attachments
  • You may not edit your posts
  •