Facebook share
LinkedIn share
Google plus share
Twitter plus share
Give Advice
Ask For Advice
Page 1 of 2 12 LastLast
Results 1 to 10 of 12

Thread: Why is my ex-boyfriend so confused?

  1. #1
    Bronze Member
    Join Date
    Apr 2017
    Posts
    177

    Why is my ex-boyfriend so confused?

    So, my ex-boyfriend reached out to me the other (via text message), and expressed an interest in rekindling the relationship. He told me that
    he was missing me very much and hoped that I missed him too. He asked me if I was interested in working out our problems and getting back
    together. He still loved me and believes we belong together. My reply to him was that I was not interested in rekindling our relationship. He knows
    the reasons were are not together. However, he sent me a text persuading me to "take his hand and love again", "don't grow old and bitter", "chose
    to love or hate" and more. When I replied that I am not interested and that in spite of everything, I wished well and that he finds the love and happiness
    that he is looking for. End of conversation for me...
    He texts me back saying, "so you choose to hate instead of love?" Then added, "you can choose to take my hand or grow old, bitter and angry." I did not
    reply. Later that day, I received three emails with quotes such as "when we don't know who to hate, we hate ourselves" Chuck P (invisible Monsters), another said, "Animals don't hate and we're supposed to be better than them", Elvis Presley, and finally, "I imagine one of the reasons people hate so stubbornly is because they sense, that once hate is gone, they will be forced to deal with their pain." James Baldwin

    I found his response confusing to say the least. I can't wrap my head around it. The only thing I can figure is that he is projecting HIS fears onto me.
    He seems so fixated on the word.....hate and I don't know why. Very strange.
    Your thoughts......

  2. #2
    Silver Member Camber 2019's Avatar
    Join Date
    Apr 2019
    Location
    NY
    Age
    59
    Posts
    319
    Gender
    Male
    Ummmmmm...

    He is being extremely NEEDY. He is trying to emotionally manipulate you into going back to him. He is acting like a spoiled child who can't have what he wants.

    Needy, whiny, groveling guys are the biggest turn-off for women... are they not?

    Cut off all contact, and make sure you have a friend or companion around until you are sure he is not going to stalk you (don't want to make you worry, just sayin')

  3. #3
    Platinum Member
    Join Date
    Jul 2016
    Posts
    9,600
    Originally Posted by Camber 2019
    Ummmmmm...

    He is being extremely NEEDY. He is trying to emotionally manipulate you into going back to him. He is acting like a spoiled child who can't have what he wants.

    Needy, whiny, groveling guys are the biggest turn-off for women... are they not?

    Cut off all contact, and make sure you have a friend or companion around until you are sure he is not going to stalk you (don't want to make you worry, just sayin')
    Agree it's a total manipulation and mind f***!

    Guy is not right in the head, ignore it, do NOT respond.

    If you have the ability to block him, do so NOW.

  4. #4
    Platinum Member Wiseman2's Avatar
    Join Date
    Apr 2016
    Location
    Cloud Nine
    Posts
    34,866
    Gender
    Male
    Just delete trite annoying drivel like this. Sounds like horsecrap he got off facebook. You may have to block him.
    Originally Posted by Sweet Sue
    I received three emails with quotes such as "when we don't know who to hate, we hate ourselves" Chuck P (invisible Monsters), another said, "Animals don't hate and we're supposed to be better than them", Elvis Presley, and finally, "I imagine one of the reasons people hate so stubbornly is because they sense, that once hate is gone, they will be forced to deal with their pain." James Baldwin

  5.  

  6. #5
    Gold Member
    Join Date
    Jan 2008
    Posts
    835
    Well, you clearly made the right choice. Do NOT turn back and do not communicate with him again.

    He's using the word HATE because it's a a strong word that invokes emotion. He's trying to manipulate you into going back to him- which is ungenerous, uncaring, selfish, immature and disrespectful.

    Hold you head high. It was classy to wish him well. His actions have nothing to do with you. He is, at BEST immature and at WORST a super needy creep.

    Do NOT contact him again. Block him.

  7. #6
    Platinum Member
    Join Date
    Jan 2015
    Posts
    12,058
    Is this the man who didn't want to deal with your health issues?

    If so, who's the one "hating"?

  8. #7
    Gold Member SarahLancaster's Avatar
    Join Date
    Jul 2016
    Location
    Florida Panhandle
    Posts
    709
    Gender
    Female
    He sounds like a potential stalker, unable to take no for an answer.

    You did right to tell him you're not interested. You don't owe him any more answers or explanations. Just prevent him from contacting you.

  9. #8
    Platinum Member reinventmyself's Avatar
    Join Date
    Aug 2014
    Posts
    10,270
    Gender
    Female
    He's a little bit of a drama queen, ya think?
    What is so unsettling about his words is he wants you back, yet tries to guilt you into it with his dramatic choice of words. It's a little insulting.
    He's basically telling you if you don't take him back then there is something wrong with you. That's no how you win some one back.
    It's just not very smart and it's an ugly look on him.
    I'd ignore him.

  10. #9
    Member
    Join Date
    Jul 2019
    Posts
    36
    For what its worth; the opposite of hatred is not love or vice versa. The opposite of love is indifference or in the Bible, fear, as in the fear of love.

    Regardless, he sounds confused and attempting to manipulate you. Id steer well clear.
    Last edited by DKA; 08-22-2019 at 06:38 PM. Reason: Spelling

  11. #10
    Bronze Member
    Join Date
    Apr 2017
    Posts
    177
    Yes, boltnrun.............he's the same one. He believes I am the one hating because I chose not to take him back because he cheated on me and I have trust issues
    with him, and he left me for another woman because of my health issues. I don't hate and have no ill will towards him. I just don't want to be in a relationship with him.
    I have moved on and wish he would do the same.

Page 1 of 2 12 LastLast

Give Advice
Ask For Advice

Tags for this Thread

Posting Permissions

  • You may not post new threads
  • You may not post replies
  • You may not post attachments
  • You may not edit your posts
  •