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Thread: Iím interested in my exís acquaintance. We matched on a dating site?

  1. #11
    Platinum Member Wiseman2's Avatar
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    Ok, then you're broken up and can date whoever you wish. You can't avoid the whole dating pool just because they may or may not know of your exbf.
    Originally Posted by datinghelp9
    he really only knows my ex through his brother in law and the music scene in my city. Weíre both single and this guy has been single a long time

  2. #12
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    Iím interested in my exís acquaintance. We matched on a dating site?

    Originally Posted by Wiseman2
    Ok, then you're broken up and can date whoever you wish. You can't avoid the whole dating pool just because they may or may not know of your exbf.
    Thanks. I suppose I canít if they think itís ďstrangeĒ which is fine... on to the next...

    Itís hard because my ex is very prominent in a certain music community that Iím a part of (he is a musician) so he knows a lot of people...

    He made our break up very public too and dramatic (not limited to showing up to shows, getting wasted and talking to everyone about it. Heís been dramatic, but I understand he was really hurt bc he was blindsided by the break up and heís only said nice things about me


    I have been trying to get out of our almost 2 year relationship for almost as long as it had been going on. After we broke up, he snooped with my passwords and saw messages about wanting out that I sent to my friends that go back a long time. I do feel bad about it,


    Like I said, i live in a moderate to large sized city, there are only so many singles Iíd consider my type... in that they have similar interests etc , part of same subculture

    But I guess the search continues. I appreciate it

  3. #13
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    OK I would say kindly, get over it - you and your ex will be yesterday's news if you aren't already - people move on to the next mildly interesting thing especially on social media. Breakups where one person has a more public persona or there are lots of mutual friends or colleagues etc are a dime a dozen.

    Totally fine to date his acquaintance.

  4. #14
    Platinum Member figureitout23's Avatar
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    You missed being single so you jump on a dating website 2 weeks post breakup?

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  6. #15
    Platinum Member figureitout23's Avatar
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    Originally Posted by datinghelp9
    Itís a different thread. This is a different Ďfriendí. The last thread was about an actual friend?since childhood. I decided it was wrong to pursue that.
    For this guy, I use the word friend loosely , because he really only knows my ex through his brother in law and the music scene in my city.

    And Iím actually fine with just having fun because with it because I will be dead before Iím stuck in another committed relationship... now and for the indefinite future.




    But I guess it doesnít matter now. Thanks for the help....
    So friend number two in two weeks?!?! Does your town have a population of 12?

    There are billions of people on this planet, you were with him for years, be a bit more respectful than this, dating isnít 8 degrees of Kevin bacon, heís not tied to every human around you. Date someone else... or.... be single for at least more than 14 days after a two year relationship.

  7. #16
    Platinum Member maew's Avatar
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    Originally Posted by datinghelp9
    Thanks. I suppose I canít if they think itís ďstrangeĒ which is fine... on to the next...

    Itís hard because my ex is very prominent in a certain music community that Iím a part of (he is a musician) so he knows a lot of people...

    He made our break up very public too and dramatic (not limited to showing up to shows, getting wasted and talking to everyone about it. Heís been dramatic, but I understand he was really hurt bc he was blindsided by the break up and heís only said nice things about me


    I have been trying to get out of our almost 2 year relationship for almost as long as it had been going on. After we broke up, he snooped with my passwords and saw messages about wanting out that I sent to my friends that go back a long time. I do feel bad about it,


    Like I said, i live in a moderate to large sized city, there are only so many singles Iíd consider my type... in that they have similar interests etc , part of same subculture

    But I guess the search continues. I appreciate it
    Oddly I can relate to this. My ex and I were both very well known in our community and so pretty much everyone we meet in that community either knows one of us or is a friend to one of us in some way. Made it very difficult to date within that community, at least for the first couple of years, so we both ended up dating outside the community for awhile.

    If heís just an acquaintance then itís really not a big deal... I can understand why he thinks it strange as it hasnít been very long... but if itís as you say and everyone knows everyone you wonít really be able to avoid it unless you are open to expanding your network.

  8. #17
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    Originally Posted by datinghelp9
    Itís a different thread. This is a different Ďfriendí. The last thread was about an actual friend?since childhood. I decided it was wrong to pursue that.
    For this guy, I use the word friend loosely , because he really only knows my ex through his brother in law and the music scene in my city.

    And Iím actually fine with just having fun because with it because I will be dead before Iím stuck in another committed relationship... now and for the indefinite future.




    But I guess it doesnít matter now. Thanks for the help....
    Ah, ok. That clarifies matters. In that case, I agree with most that dating an ex's acquaintance is generally not even an issue. Of course, as always there are exceptions.

  9. #18
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    Honestly, take a break. You first considered your ex's friend, and then are looking at a guy who your ex knows well enough to know that you are the ex. If he was an acquaintance so distant that he had no idea you were a couple, some guy he knows from a professional organization that would have no idea of his relationship status, that's one thing. But the fact that he knows you are his ex makes me believe he is more than just an acquaintance - more likely a casual or situational friend. I mean, an acquaintance may know the dude had a girlfriend, but if he can recognize you from pictures on dating apps, he is closer than you are letting on or minimizing it.

    Re-reading again, he is a friend of your ex's brother in law.

    So - 2 weeks after a break up - leave this dating app that is full of friends of your ex. Honestly. Take a few months and only consider men you meet in person. Anyone who knows your ex are going to feel mega awkward/might feel loyal to your ex or they are going to decide you might be into rebound sex. Why not take yourself off this site, find another one, but mostly, no matter if your relationship was over a long time ago, stop the desperation and reconnect with other parts of yourself.

    Slap your own hand if you go back to a dating app in the next 5 months.

    I mean, if you ran into the guy in the grocery store and recognized eachother and caught up and he found out you were single and he asked you out to coffeee -- OKAY - but i would not be eager to match on an app.

    Two weeks is too soon to be going through your ex's world to look for boyfriends.

  10. #19
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    Another poster on here kept meeting friends of her ex. Turns out she was still hanging out in the same group as when she was dating her ex.

    Expand your dating pool or this will keep happening.

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