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Thread: What to do?

  1. #21
    Forum Supporter ~Seraphim ~'s Avatar
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    For sure. She needs to remember I am her employer not just a friend. She is risking her job because she wants to get a DJ for her daughter’s wedding when the daughter and fiancé can well afford their own wedding .

    My husband is non too charmed either. When he is not charmed that is not impressive.

  2. #22
    Forum Supporter ~Seraphim ~'s Avatar
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    And then she says I don’t want you to get stressed . Wth. How my not supposed to get stressed when I have to be at a bus stop and accepting kids in at my house at the same time ???? Twice a day drop off and pick up. And then basically you play with the kids while I make lunch and then sit on my sofa while they go to sleep and I pay you for that what ???

    What happens if I need a doctor’s appointment? What happens if my son needs a doctor’s appointment?? What happens if I have to take my cats to the vet?? I just close my daycare ???

    No, that won’t work.

  3. #23
    Platinum Member catfeeder's Avatar
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    Originally Posted by ~Seraphim ~
    ... she is extremely low income. ... And she told me if she has to pay tax on what she earns from me she might as well not work because she will lose her whole subsidy so I ate the tax.

    You just can’t find loyalty anymore not even in friends.
    Low income people are naturally frightened. Skip the indignation to help yourself approach this from a more effective angle--compassion and logic.

    Let her know that you've been eating her taxes to help her, but the new job will not do that. Show her on paper how the taxes will harm her, and ask her if she's willing to take the night to reconsider. Let her know that if she opts to continue the bus thing, that will be her only income, because you'll need to hire someone who can work the whole shift.

    It's not good for your own head to view her through a lens of ingratitude or disloyalty. The woman is poor and not-so-bright. Let that be your compassion platform, and see if you don't get better results for your own stomach lining.

  4. #24
    Forum Supporter ~Seraphim ~'s Avatar
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    Originally Posted by catfeeder
    Low income people are naturally frightened. Skip the indignation to help yourself approach this from a more effective angle--compassion and logic.

    Let her know that you've been eating her taxes to help her, but the new job will not do that. Show her on paper how the taxes will harm her, and ask her if she's willing to take the night to reconsider. Let her know that if she opts to continue the bus thing, that will be her only income, because you'll need to hire someone who can work the whole shift.

    It's not good for your own head to view her through a lens of ingratitude or disloyalty. The woman is poor and not-so-bright. Let that be your compassion platform, and see if you don't get better results for your own stomach lining.
    Yup, this is what my mom says. Lay it out on paper. If it doesn’t make sense to her nothing you can do.

    I haven’t said a thing yet because I am thinking carefully first.

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  6. #25
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    She already has one foot out. Even if you show her the breakdown on taxes, she is your weakness link in the company. Another year, she could drop you altogether. With this stunt, you should finding her replacement asap.

    Don't keep employed someone who thinks they are doing you favors. It's a job. This is your livelihood. Not a social call.

  7. #26
    Forum Supporter ~Seraphim ~'s Avatar
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    What I can do is off load my one set of sisters and just keep the other little kids I have can do it solo.

  8. #27
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    Well, I told her it would screw up her subsidy and she doesn’t care. Soooo, I guess that’s that.

  9. #28
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    She can't just make her own hours. I hope you are only paying her for the hours she is there. I can understand picking up a job after the day care is closed but this makes no sense. i will tell her that "i need you to be her during this time and this time. if you cannot be here, then i need to fill the time with someone else. Its nothing personal. I just need someone here in the morning when the kids come and i need someone more than just for lunch." The only reason to keep her is to keep your kid to adult ratio, but i would start putting my feelers out there for someone new, at least part time.

    it would be a shame for you to have to "offload" kids.

  10. #29
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    Originally Posted by abitbroken
    She can't just make her own hours. I hope you are only paying her for the hours she is there. I can understand picking up a job after the day care is closed but this makes no sense. i will tell her that "i need you to be her during this time and this time. if you cannot be here, then i need to fill the time with someone else. Its nothing personal. I just need someone here in the morning when the kids come and i need someone more than just for lunch." The only reason to keep her is to keep your kid to adult ratio, but i would start putting my feelers out there for someone new, at least part time.

    it would be a shame for you to have to "offload" kids.
    It would. However, she basically told me everyone has to do what they have to do. Basically suck it up. She doesn’t want to listen to me that she’s screwing her self so whatever . And ruining a friendship too. But that seems to be besides the point to her .

    Annnnnnnnd this is why I don’t love friends.

  11. #30
    Platinum Member Fudgie's Avatar
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    So are you going to find someone new and get rid of her?

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