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Thread: Is my co worker out of line?

  1. #1
    Member MrsWise's Avatar
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    Is my co worker out of line?

    I work in Nursing home serving food to residents. My job consist of serving food and doing dishes. However, because of the nature of the job, my apron gets dirty throughout the shift just like other co workers including the cooks or cook assistants.

    So one time while I was doing dishes the said co worker scolded me because my apron got dirty and she said this in front of other co worker who i'm also friendly with. She was actually mad about it.Then she said it's because I love you, I don't want people to talk behind your back. So i let it go and we moved on

    Then yesterday I was talking to another co worker who works on the floor of this said co worker regularly works and she came up in our conversation and she told that this said co worker told her that I don't work clean and my apron is always dirty.

    So now I'm furious because first of all, I didn't like how she approached me..she basically talked to me like I was her child which was demeaning but I let it go because I thought her heart was in the right place then to find out that she told another college in completely different unrelated department?

    I'm fuming. I really want to tell her off because other co workers aprons also get dirty throughout their shift and she never says anything to them.But i don't want it to escalate. Should i report this to my manager ?

  2. #2
    Platinum Member reinventmyself's Avatar
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    Originally Posted by MrsWise
    I'm fuming. I really want to tell her off because other co workers aprons also get dirty throughout their shift and she never says anything to them.But i don't want it to escalate. Should i report this to my manager ?
    No. You have a choice on how you want to feel or respond to this. I would consider this a massive waste of energy on an otherwise negative person. Rise above the nonsense. Ignore her.

  3. #3
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    I'd let it go, and just get on with the job. It sounds as though these ladies need to get out more.

    That said, I worked in two care homes and quit both after a few months because of the petty vindictiveness of many of the staff. Don't let yourself be sucked into it, though it's depressing being in this kind of environment.

  4. #4
    Member MrsWise's Avatar
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    So should i just keep my feelings bottled up? Because i never told her how i felt and now i just feel like exploding

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    Originally Posted by MrsWise
    So should i just keep my feelings bottled up? Because i never told her how i felt and now i just feel like exploding
    If you feel that exploding would be helpful, and a positive outcome to a negative situation, then carry on. OR... you could register that you feel this way, then ask yourself if these women are people whose opinion you respect, or are they just boring petty-minded ladies with nothing better to talk about, and not worth any more of your spare thinking time. Your call.

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    If you feel like exploding find a time where you can go for a really fast walk and also drink at least 16 ounces of plain water. That should help a lot.

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    Gold Member SarahLancaster's Avatar
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    Ask her if she'd like a big hot steaming cup of Shut the F up.

  9. #8
    Platinum Member DancingFool's Avatar
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    Regarding these women, you need to learn to recognize and stay away from toxic people. No, they don't mean well, no they don't care about you, no, nothing good will ever come of engaging with these types of individuals ever. Ignore them.

    As for your feelings, just because you have them doesn't mean you act out on them. Learn some self control and again, learn to sort out when something is worth the drama and when you need to step away from drama. In this case, if you show these women that you are all emotional over this (they either already know you are emotional or are poking you to see if you are), all it will get you is more bullying and an escalation of problems and rumors. These types of people thrive on drama, so the last thing you want to do is feed into that.

    As for management, don't hold your breath. Management expects you all to act like adults, aka be civil NOT friendly. As a practical reality, unless they already have numerous complaints and issues with those women, you are more likely to get fired over your inability to manage at work relationships than they are. Usually, toxic people are also very good at kissing up to management and getting their job done...or looking like it....while making others look bad, so they rarely get fired over their toxic games.

  10. #9
    Platinum Member happyfrank's Avatar
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    Originally Posted by MrsWise
    So should i just keep my feelings bottled up? Because i never told her how i felt and now i just feel like exploding
    Once you clock out of work. Don't think about work. Life is better that way.

    I work as professional punching bag. Customer service Rep. I get treated bad and yelled at all day..

    I don't take it personal. People will always find something to be upset at. It happens.

  11. #10
    Platinum Member Wiseman2's Avatar
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    Let it go. She sounds a bit dim/simple. She's not a supervisor/superior, right?
    Originally Posted by MrsWise
    I was doing dishes the said co worker scolded me because my apron got dirty and she said this in front of other co worker who i'm also friendly with.

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