Jump to content

Is my co worker out of line?


MrsWise

Recommended Posts

I work in Nursing home serving food to residents. My job consist of serving food and doing dishes. However, because of the nature of the job, my apron gets dirty throughout the shift just like other co workers including the cooks or cook assistants.

 

So one time while I was doing dishes the said co worker scolded me because my apron got dirty and she said this in front of other co worker who i'm also friendly with. She was actually mad about it.Then she said it's because I love you, I don't want people to talk behind your back. So i let it go and we moved on

 

Then yesterday I was talking to another co worker who works on the floor of this said co worker regularly works and she came up in our conversation and she told that this said co worker told her that I don't work clean and my apron is always dirty.

 

So now I'm furious because first of all, I didn't like how she approached me..she basically talked to me like I was her child which was demeaning but I let it go because I thought her heart was in the right place then to find out that she told another college in completely different unrelated department?

 

I'm fuming. I really want to tell her off because other co workers aprons also get dirty throughout their shift and she never says anything to them.But i don't want it to escalate. Should i report this to my manager ?

Link to comment

I'm fuming. I really want to tell her off because other co workers aprons also get dirty throughout their shift and she never says anything to them.But i don't want it to escalate. Should i report this to my manager ?

 

No. You have a choice on how you want to feel or respond to this. I would consider this a massive waste of energy on an otherwise negative person. Rise above the nonsense. Ignore her.

Link to comment

I'd let it go, and just get on with the job. It sounds as though these ladies need to get out more.

 

That said, I worked in two care homes and quit both after a few months because of the petty vindictiveness of many of the staff. Don't let yourself be sucked into it, though it's depressing being in this kind of environment.

Link to comment
So should i just keep my feelings bottled up? Because i never told her how i felt and now i just feel like exploding

 

If you feel that exploding would be helpful, and a positive outcome to a negative situation, then carry on. OR... you could register that you feel this way, then ask yourself if these women are people whose opinion you respect, or are they just boring petty-minded ladies with nothing better to talk about, and not worth any more of your spare thinking time. Your call.

Link to comment

Regarding these women, you need to learn to recognize and stay away from toxic people. No, they don't mean well, no they don't care about you, no, nothing good will ever come of engaging with these types of individuals ever. Ignore them.

 

As for your feelings, just because you have them doesn't mean you act out on them. Learn some self control and again, learn to sort out when something is worth the drama and when you need to step away from drama. In this case, if you show these women that you are all emotional over this (they either already know you are emotional or are poking you to see if you are), all it will get you is more bullying and an escalation of problems and rumors. These types of people thrive on drama, so the last thing you want to do is feed into that.

 

As for management, don't hold your breath. Management expects you all to act like adults, aka be civil NOT friendly. As a practical reality, unless they already have numerous complaints and issues with those women, you are more likely to get fired over your inability to manage at work relationships than they are. Usually, toxic people are also very good at kissing up to management and getting their job done...or looking like it....while making others look bad, so they rarely get fired over their toxic games.

Link to comment
So should i just keep my feelings bottled up? Because i never told her how i felt and now i just feel like exploding

 

Once you clock out of work. Don't think about work. Life is better that way.

 

I work as professional punching bag. Customer service Rep. I get treated bad and yelled at all day..

 

I don't take it personal. People will always find something to be upset at. It happens.

Link to comment

Ignore her. Since other employees have dirty aprons, too you have nothing to fear.

 

Don't tattle to management. They don't want to bother mediating quibbles. They have more important matters to attend to.

 

Just mind your own business and leave her alone. Do your work, earn your paycheck, then leave to go home just like any other day.

Link to comment

Now might be a good time to pause... and ask yourself whether your apron does get dirtier than other aprons.

 

I'm going to come at this from a different perspective because while I agree with all the other members, my husband let me in on the culture of aprons and chef jackets. The reason why they're white is a matter of kitchen culture and impressing upon customers (open kitchen) and each other at the level of care and attention to detail a chef has in the precision of his or her movements in a kitchen.

 

Of course this is open to all kinds of opinion from what a ridiculous and silly idea this is to utterly futile. The irony is that the apron is also meant to protect from sources of heat and other dangerous activities that occur in that environment.

 

When it comes to your own apron things might not be so amusing or easy to interpret. I'd still encourage taking it with a grain of salt. I think your outward appearance matters in a professional environment. If you're able to look into a better whitener or bleach/detergent or if you are able to avoid certain spills, it might help your overall image and level of professionalism at work. I think your coworker has a less than desirable delivery but she may have a point. She may also have standards that are not appropriate to your level of work. If you feel that it's inappropriate, you should feel open discussing it and other expectations with your manager.

Link to comment
So should i just keep my feelings bottled up? Because i never told her how i felt and now i just feel like exploding

 

Work is not a therapeutic environment, so I'd save the temper tantrum for a therapist's office. I'd skip the petty offense and decide whether you can afford to change into a second apron after the first gets noticeably soiled. You coworker is concerned about how you all appear as a team, and if you can put aside personal affront to consider a professional approach to the problem, you may end up with a solid friend on the job who appreciates your thoughtfulness and effort.

 

Head high, and don't waste energy on defending against stuff that's simple enough to fix.

Link to comment

Smile and respond "Duly noted" and then turn and get back to work. Respond the same way each time, just be a brick wall. Dim simpletons like her are just looking for drama and fights. They enjoy the reaction they get from others. So don't give her anyway the second you get angry or blow up, she "wins".

 

Don't let her "win".

Link to comment

It was bothering and i felt I needed to say something. Yesterday, I decided to ask the said co worker if she had gone out of her way to tell the other co worker that my apron is always dirty. And she vehemently denied it. and inisist we both go to confront her following day and another co worker will be there as a witness .

 

So this morning the said co worker in the OP reminded me about our meeting to go talk to the other lady. I tried to back out and said to let it go as it is not big deal but she inisisted we go along with a third lady so she can be her witness if it becomes a big thing. I said fine, lets go.

 

We approached her and the 4 of us went in a room and close the door. The accused co worker was the one who ask the other lady if she had said that my apron is always dirty and i don't work clean ?..The lady said " Yes you said that" with conviction. To which the other co worker still denied and ask when she said it..They go at it for bit. by the end of the meeting, The accused co worker leaned that we were basically talking about her when I found out about what she allegedly said about me. And she also found out how demeaned i felt when she shammed me. everything that i told told the other lady was layed out right there to which i confirmed

 

 

 

She back down and said not to bring up her name again when she is not around then she left the room. the lady who told me this information was still insisting that she did said it and i did the right thing confronting her. but the accused co worker is still denying it.When met the accused co worker down stairs she basically said and not to listen to her to the other lady. If the accused co worker did tell the other lady about my apron, why would she insisting we go and be caught in a lie? so i don't know who to belive at this point.so i don't know who to believe at this point. this whole thing is weird to me and one of them lying. i just don't know who

Link to comment

Talk to your manager about new uniforms and spare clean aprons. Surely you are all expected to wear them for work and have them look presentable if they are part of the work uniform. If that's the case have a clean spare and keep in in your locker. If you don't have a spare, ask the manager for one.

 

Everything else is just a cat fight.

Link to comment

Why are you making a federal case about an apron? Either it gets dirty, or not. If so, what's the problem with putting on a clean one for the second half of your shift?

 

The fact that this has come back to you twice from two different sources means that it bother SOMEbody. Instead of trying to villainize anyone for that, why not just solve the actual problem?

 

It makes no sense to get defensive about something that's easily fixed. So fix it, and you will thank yourself.

Link to comment

Archived

This topic is now archived and is closed to further replies.

×
×
  • Create New...