Facebook share
LinkedIn share
Google plus share
Twitter plus share
Give Advice
Ask For Advice
Page 1 of 2 12 LastLast
Results 1 to 10 of 12

Thread: Was she out of line??

  1. #1
    Member Adriana7's Avatar
    Join Date
    Jun 2017
    Posts
    22
    Gender
    Female

    Was she out of line??

    My ex mother n law who is my kids grandma brought my exs 8 month old baby to meet me. I have fell in love with the baby now. But I'm thinking should she have done that??? My ex nor the baby's mom didn't know. Ladies how would you feel? She let me know that she was gonna sit that baby right in my lap as soon as she got into town. I thought it was a joke. Until she pulled up at my home saying she had a surprise for me. The baby...thoughts?? And yes he is yummy and beautiful.

  2. #2
    Platinum Member figureitout23's Avatar
    Join Date
    Apr 2017
    Posts
    4,407
    I mean technically the baby is your childrenís sibling, so youíd meet him eventually.

    Is this the same ex mother in law you claimed you were going to set boundaries with? Iím guessing that didnít go very well...

    Look, itís time to own where you are emotionally, be honest all this the MIL, the mail, the labeling him a narcissist so you had to Ďstudyí up on it, all just ways to keep him in your mind.

    Youíre stopping yourself from moving on.

    Time to stop. Itís been 2 years... he has a new child... itís time...

  3. #3
    Platinum Member Rose Mosse's Avatar
    Join Date
    Mar 2019
    Location
    British Columbia, Canada
    Posts
    2,079
    Gender
    Female
    Does it matter? Just let your ex know she seemed confused and brought the baby over. Let the parents work out a more reliable person to leave the baby with when they're not around.

  4. #4
    Platinum Member catfeeder's Avatar
    Join Date
    Nov 2008
    Location
    New Jersey
    Posts
    22,197
    Gender
    Female
    You get to put whatever kind of spin on this that you want to, so I'd ask myself what viewing my kids' grandmother as being out of line buys me. Would it make my future interactions with her easier or harder?

    Otherwise, I'd view grandma as trying to normalize my kids' exposure to their half sibling as natural and setting the tone for me to view it that way as well.

    I'd consider whether there would be any advantage to viewing myself as the adult everyone must tip-toe 'around' in order to have good and loving relationships. I'd prefer to not be that woman.

    Head high, you can do this.

  5.  

  6. #5
    Platinum Member Cherylyn's Avatar
    Join Date
    Mar 2019
    Posts
    1,090
    I don't think she was out of line. Just act normal and if you feel like adoring the baby when the baby is with you, then gush over the baby. If your ex nor the baby's mom didn't know, it's not your fault and you're not to blame. You did nothing wrong. It's your ex MIL who has to face her son and the baby's mom, not you. You've got nothing to say. You've got nothing to do with this scenario. Just enjoy the baby if you want to.

  7. #6
    Member Adriana7's Avatar
    Join Date
    Jun 2017
    Posts
    22
    Gender
    Female
    Thank you for your answer. There are times I wonder if theses things she does are normal, I've never been in this type of situation so there are times I question myself. The comments above think I'm hanging onto my exs and that's outright ridiculous. We don't speak and haven't in years. Two actually. My life is great but with her at times I often wonder why she does the things she does. Thank you.

  8. #7
    Platinum Member
    Join Date
    May 2017
    Posts
    2,805
    I'm going against the grain here and say that yes, this was out of line for her to bring his and his new GF's baby to meet you, without their permission. If I was them, I'd be ticked off.

    Sure, you'd meet the baby sooner or later, and yes, this baby is your child's sibling, but it's that child's parents who get to decide when all this occurs.....not this grandma.

    You seem to have a great attitude about it though, and I'm glad you're so in love with this little boy. I have a feeling he's gonna fall in love with you too, and you'll have created a great atmosphere for your child.

  9. #8
    Platinum Member Cherylyn's Avatar
    Join Date
    Mar 2019
    Posts
    1,090
    Sometimes you can't figure people out. They do what they do including your ex-MIL. As long as you're in the clear and innocent, just enjoy the baby. No one has anything on you. If there's any explaining to do, that's on your ex-MIL and between her, her son and the baby's mom. Your hands are clean of this.

  10. #9
    Member Adriana7's Avatar
    Join Date
    Jun 2017
    Posts
    22
    Gender
    Female
    Thank you. These other comments just can be so outta reach. It has nothing to do with my ex. We both moved on. I'm at a very good place in and so is he I'm assuming. I don't want him or have him on my mind. I just want to make sure doing this is not disrespectful towards his parents. This place is way to judgemental.

  11. #10
    Platinum Member figureitout23's Avatar
    Join Date
    Apr 2017
    Posts
    4,407
    Originally Posted by Adriana7
    Thank you. These other comments just can be so outta reach. It has nothing to do with my ex. We both moved on. I'm at a very good place in and so is he I'm assuming. I don't want him or have him on my mind. I just want to make sure doing this is not disrespectful towards his parents. This place is way to judgemental.
    PM from you sent to me titled: nothing else from you. Your life is a mess.

    Originally Posted by Adriana7
    Your comments are ridiculous. If you plan to give advice please read the question better. I see obviously you are keeping up with me but looks like you're the one who needs tons of advice with drunk men you're sleeping with. You may come off as a motherly figure on here but you have me confused. No more crazy comments from you. Got it?? Good. Carry-on. 👉🏽✌🏽️
    Pot meet kettle.

    You just wrote in I think June that heís messaging you about mail and youíre trying to move on, so itís not true that you have nothing to do with him. You are still incredibly entwined with his life. Iím sorry you feel I was being harsh and judgemental, Iím not judging you as you said I have my own sh*t, not sure who these drunk men Iím sleeping with are but Iíll look into it. You asked for advice, I gave it. You are far too worried about your ex, his mom, their baby, his mail, how can anyone move on with that much exposure? I don't remember your exact words but I know it was at least a year you spent Ďstudying narcissismí thatís a year you spent not healing, sorry your focus was on him not you, youíre broken up two years but the baby is already here which would mean he moved on and got her pregnant very quickly, another huge blow to anyone, I canít imagine how that felt. Again add to it, his constant contact and hers, how could anyone move forward in that mess?

    You said you were going to establish boundaries with his mother. You need to do that, when she said she was bringing the baby over without his parents permission that was the time to speak, not after. In the grand scheme of things this question is as useful as a third nipple, itís already happened!! So again sorry, I think Stevie Wonder could see this has very little to do with Ďwas she out of lineí

    Again, you will have to eventually meet, the little boy is your daughters sibling, but this unnecessary contact and potential for drama needs to stop so you can focus on you and your life and you have the power to do it.
    Last edited by figureitout23; 08-18-2019 at 10:14 AM.

Page 1 of 2 12 LastLast

Give Advice
Ask For Advice

Tags for this Thread

Posting Permissions

  • You may not post new threads
  • You may not post replies
  • You may not post attachments
  • You may not edit your posts
  •