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Was she out of line??


Adriana7

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My ex mother n law who is my kids grandma brought my exs 8 month old baby to meet me. I have fell in love with the baby now. But I'm thinking should she have done that??? My ex nor the baby's mom didn't know. Ladies how would you feel? She let me know that she was gonna sit that baby right in my lap as soon as she got into town. I thought it was a joke. Until she pulled up at my home saying she had a surprise for me. The baby...thoughts?? And yes he is yummy and beautiful.

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I mean technically the baby is your children’s sibling, so you’d meet him eventually.

 

Is this the same ex mother in law you claimed you were going to set boundaries with? I’m guessing that didn’t go very well...

 

Look, it’s time to own where you are emotionally, be honest all this the MIL, the mail, the labeling him a narcissist so you had to ‘study’ up on it, all just ways to keep him in your mind.

 

You’re stopping yourself from moving on.

 

Time to stop. It’s been 2 years... he has a new child... it’s time...

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You get to put whatever kind of spin on this that you want to, so I'd ask myself what viewing my kids' grandmother as being out of line buys me. Would it make my future interactions with her easier or harder?

 

Otherwise, I'd view grandma as trying to normalize my kids' exposure to their half sibling as natural and setting the tone for me to view it that way as well.

 

I'd consider whether there would be any advantage to viewing myself as the adult everyone must tip-toe 'around' in order to have good and loving relationships. I'd prefer to not be that woman.

 

Head high, you can do this.

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I don't think she was out of line. Just act normal and if you feel like adoring the baby when the baby is with you, then gush over the baby. If your ex nor the baby's mom didn't know, it's not your fault and you're not to blame. You did nothing wrong. It's your ex MIL who has to face her son and the baby's mom, not you. You've got nothing to say. You've got nothing to do with this scenario. Just enjoy the baby if you want to.

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Thank you for your answer. There are times I wonder if theses things she does are normal, I've never been in this type of situation so there are times I question myself. The comments above think I'm hanging onto my exs and that's outright ridiculous. We don't speak and haven't in years. Two actually. My life is great but with her at times I often wonder why she does the things she does. Thank you.

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I'm going against the grain here and say that yes, this was out of line for her to bring his and his new GF's baby to meet you, without their permission. If I was them, I'd be ticked off.

 

Sure, you'd meet the baby sooner or later, and yes, this baby is your child's sibling, but it's that child's parents who get to decide when all this occurs.....not this grandma.

 

You seem to have a great attitude about it though, and I'm glad you're so in love with this little boy. I have a feeling he's gonna fall in love with you too, and you'll have created a great atmosphere for your child.

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Sometimes you can't figure people out. They do what they do including your ex-MIL. As long as you're in the clear and innocent, just enjoy the baby. No one has anything on you. If there's any explaining to do, that's on your ex-MIL and between her, her son and the baby's mom. Your hands are clean of this.

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Thank you. These other comments just can be so outta reach. It has nothing to do with my ex. We both moved on. I'm at a very good place in and so is he I'm assuming. I don't want him or have him on my mind. I just want to make sure doing this is not disrespectful towards his parents. This place is way to judgemental.

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Thank you. These other comments just can be so outta reach. It has nothing to do with my ex. We both moved on. I'm at a very good place in and so is he I'm assuming. I don't want him or have him on my mind. I just want to make sure doing this is not disrespectful towards his parents. This place is way to judgemental.

 

PM from you sent to me titled: nothing else from you. Your life is a mess.

 

Your comments are ridiculous. If you plan to give advice please read the question better. I see obviously you are keeping up with me but looks like you're the one who needs tons of advice with drunk men you're sleeping with. You may come off as a motherly figure on here but you have me confused. No more crazy comments from you. Got it?? Good. Carry-on. 👉🏽✌🏽️

 

Pot meet kettle.

 

You just wrote in I think June that he’s messaging you about mail and you’re trying to move on, so it’s not true that you have nothing to do with him. You are still incredibly entwined with his life. I’m sorry you feel I was being harsh and judgemental, I’m not judging you as you said I have my own sh*t, not sure who these drunk men I’m sleeping with are but I’ll look into it. You asked for advice, I gave it. You are far too worried about your ex, his mom, their baby, his mail, how can anyone move on with that much exposure? I don't remember your exact words but I know it was at least a year you spent ‘studying narcissism’ that’s a year you spent not healing, sorry your focus was on him not you, you’re broken up two years but the baby is already here which would mean he moved on and got her pregnant very quickly, another huge blow to anyone, I can’t imagine how that felt. Again add to it, his constant contact and hers, how could anyone move forward in that mess?

 

You said you were going to establish boundaries with his mother. You need to do that, when she said she was bringing the baby over without his parents permission that was the time to speak, not after. In the grand scheme of things this question is as useful as a third nipple, it’s already happened!! So again sorry, I think Stevie Wonder could see this has very little to do with ‘was she out of line’

 

Again, you will have to eventually meet, the little boy is your daughters sibling, but this unnecessary contact and potential for drama needs to stop so you can focus on you and your life and you have the power to do it.

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Thank you. These other comments just can be so outta reach. It has nothing to do with my ex. We both moved on. I'm at a very good place in and so is he I'm assuming. I don't want him or have him on my mind. I just want to make sure doing this is not disrespectful towards his parents. This place is way to judgemental.

 

Your concern about being respectful is admirable, and it sheds light on your question, which was vague and open to many different interpretations. As you've noticed.

 

Since being respectful is important to you, consider using the 'Reply With Quote' feature on the lower right of each post. This allows you to quote all or part of any post to which you want to respond. It enables all readers to understand who you are addressing, and it can help you to avoid compounding any misunderstandings by making broad-brush generalizations about an entire forum.

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