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Thread: Is it ok to ghost someone you've never met?

  1. #11
    Super Moderator HeartGoesOn's Avatar
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    If you truly want this to end, you'll find a way, if not you'll find an excuse. Hopefully he'll be able to see right through this game, and bow out.

  2. #12
    Platinum Member Wiseman2's Avatar
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    Honesty is the best policy. Be clear and simply tell him you're not interested.

  3. #13
    Platinum Member Cherylyn's Avatar
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    I would write: "With all due respect, I'm not interested in you. Please do not contact me anymore otherwise I will block you." I think that is fair to say (text). Give him fair warning and if he refuses to take "no" for an answer, block him and be done with it.

  4. #14
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    Originally Posted by Cherylyn
    I would write: "With all due respect, I'm not interested in you. Please do not contact me anymore otherwise I will block you." I think that is fair to say (text). Give him fair warning and if he refuses to take "no" for an answer, block him and be done with it.
    Yes, I agree if it is safe to do so (meaning he doesn't know where you live, can't start contacting you elsewhere, etc. -sometimes ignoring triggers less of that nonsense/scary stuff).

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  6. #15
    Member lolap's Avatar
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    Thanks, everyone! He seemed to have stop this thing, I haven't heard from him today. Hopefully, he understood. If he messages again, I will let him know that I'm not into it at all.

    Originally Posted by HeartGoesOn
    If you truly want this to end, you'll find a way, if not you'll find an excuse. Hopefully he'll be able to see right through this game, and bow out.
    @HeartGoesOn, I disagree with you calling my actions a game. I see no fault in what I did. It's totally reasonable to take a few hours or longer to reply to someone, especially when you're working/sick, haven't met a person yet. Bombarding someone with messages disregarding a lack of feedback, sounds more like a game to me. Still, thanks for your input! I appreciate all advice.

  7. #16
    Super Moderator HeartGoesOn's Avatar
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    Originally Posted by lolap
    Thanks, everyone! He seemed to have stop this thing, I haven't heard from him today. Hopefully, he understood. If he messages again, I will let him know that I'm not into it at all.



    @HeartGoesOn, I disagree with you calling my actions a game. I see no fault in what I did. It's totally reasonable to take a few hours or longer to reply to someone, especially when you're working/sick, haven't met a person yet. Bombarding someone with messages disregarding a lack of feedback, sounds more like a game to me. Still, thanks for your input! I appreciate all advice.
    Rather than choose the common sense solution, (blocking him) you're choosing to participate. Either way, good luck, and I'm over and out.

  8. #17
    Platinum Member catfeeder's Avatar
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    Is it ok to ghost someone you've never met?
    Yes. The whole point of meeting someone is to learn whether you'll want more interaction, or not. If you've already learned that the answer is not, then you can shut down interaction in any way that's best for you.

  9. #18
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    I only advise against ghosting when it's someone I've met in person. For example, if you guys actually went on a few dates and you decided to ghost him, that would be messed up.

    However, since you've never met you can easily slide out of his life and this shouldn't mean much to him. Hard reality is it might hurt his feelings. Sometimes when people meet someone new, they're so excited that they want to talk to this person all the time and so on and amongst those feelings they started becoming blind to social ques.

    If you want to ghost him, I would do it. But keep in mind it might hurt his feelings but he'll live and move on.

    On your end of things, I would advise against giving your number out on online dating sites. Especially if you're not interested in dating, it gives people the wrong message. I'm familiar with bumble. I met my last boyfriend on bumble and we chatted on the bumble app up until we started planning our date. So maybe you should maintain your privacy until you're certain this is someone you want to talk to because you can't give someone your number and expect them not to use it. If you weren't open to that contact, you should've maintained your privacy until you are.

  10. #19
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    Originally Posted by rchubn
    I only advise against ghosting when it's someone I've met in person. For example, if you guys actually went on a few dates and you decided to ghost him, that would be messed up.

    However, since you've never met you can easily slide out of his life and this shouldn't mean much to him. Hard reality is it might hurt his feelings. Sometimes when people meet someone new, they're so excited that they want to talk to this person all the time and so on and amongst those feelings they started becoming blind to social ques.

    If you want to ghost him, I would do it. But keep in mind it might hurt his feelings but he'll live and move on.

    On your end of things, I would advise against giving your number out on online dating sites. Especially if you're not interested in dating, it gives people the wrong message. I'm familiar with bumble. I met my last boyfriend on bumble and we chatted on the bumble app up until we started planning our date. So maybe you should maintain your privacy until you're certain this is someone you want to talk to because you can't give someone your number and expect them not to use it. If you weren't open to that contact, you should've maintained your privacy until you are.
    Regarding him texting you: NO ONE is going to play the one man dance forever. If the messages are bothering you and you know for sure you don't want contact, you should block his number or mute his notifications.

    Eventually he'll find someone else to catch his attention or he'll give up all together.

  11. #20
    Platinum Member reinventmyself's Avatar
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    Someone who comes off creepy and has impulse control issues probably isn't going to handle being told not to contact you any more very well. Just a hunch.
    He'd cause me to feel unsafe.
    I'd block him. I don't owe someone I've never met, that feels it ok to blow up my phone, an explanation.

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