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Thread: Let it go?

  1. #1
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    Let it go?

    Girl (19F) and I (20M) worked together at a grocery store and really hit it off. I asked for her Snap and about a week later, for 3 nights in a row we talked until about 2-3am. We went on a date that coming Friday and continued to connect more and more. We had shifts at work the next 3 days. We flirted a lot and one night we went out to eat after, and the next 2 nights she came over to my house afterwards.

    She has mono so I was hesitant to kiss her, and one night before she left my house we just stood outside her car contemplating if it was worth it or not. I was leaning against her car door and she just held my arm, kissing it until she eventually stepped out, we just held eachother while she was kissing my neck and then we kissed for real. I hugged her and whispered that I thought I had a crush on her and she said she did too. The next day we worked together and it was even more flirting. Lots of corny texts when we didnít have time to talk to eachother, touching (lol she even smacked my ass a few times), etc. That same night she came over again and we kissed a lot and cuddled and stuff while watching a movie.

    Well, sheís now left for school about 3 hours away. After she left the other night we texted and I told her that I liked her a lot and didnít want to just drop it. She said she really didnít either but she wasnít at a good point for a relationship, but would see how she feels about it once she gets settled in her new apartment at school and would be open to me visiting and see how it goes. I told her I didnít mind driving down there whenever I had the time and she again just said sheíd have to see how sheís feeling. She told me it took her a while to open up to people and she gets weird about people staying with her. After we stopped talking for the night, I realized that I moved waaayyyyy too fast and I felt really bad about it. Weíve only been talking for about 3 weeks now so I knew I ed up by saying that.

    The day after she came over she was really busy before moving the next day. She made some time to meet me for a few minutes, and I gave her a small plant for her place. She was extremely excited, held and kissed me, etc. I apologized for what Iíd said the night before and told her it was really stupid and she said it was fine and no big deal. She didnít have much time so we kissed goodbye and I let her finish up her stuff.

    Yesterday we didnít text too much since she was busy and we havenít talked at all today.

    I took her saying she wasnt at a good point for a relationship as her not wanting a long distance one. I know she likes me a lot and I like her a lot too. Sheís basically the female version of me lol. Iím torn on what I should do here.


    I was thinking just to give her some space today, and send her a text tomorrow (Sunday). Iíll be going out of town on Wednesday (~1 and 1/2 hours away from her) and on Friday (~45 mins from her) to visit schools Iíll potentially transfer to. Would it be a bad idea to send her a text and tell her Iíll be at those places and try to meet up with her for lunch or dinner? I donít want it to seem like the reason for me visiting those schools is to see her, but I also feel like I should give it a chance.

    I want to respect her wishes and space, but I also donít want to just drop it without giving it a chance. I know itíd be way less stressful to let it go, but no matter how much I tell myself that I canít shake the feeling. Obviously Iím not going to invite myself to see her, but I feel like itíd be worth a shot to mention it and see if sheíd want to meet somewhere.

    Donít get me wrong, I know the issues with LDRís and Iím not sure if I even want to go through that, but I think it might be worth a shot to see her a couple times if sheíd be up for it.

    I could really use some advice here. Thank you.

  2. #2
    Platinum Member Rose Mosse's Avatar
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    I'd touch base with her after you decide which school you want to transfer to. You're a bit distracted with her and it's not a good idea at this time. She also appears distracted. I think you'd have a better shot at sparking emotions again in two to three weeks. Play with the timeline and don't worry so much about the connection. If it was an actual connection, it'll resurface.

  3. #3
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    Originally Posted by Rose Mosse
    I'd touch base with her after you decide which school you want to transfer to. You're a bit distracted with her and it's not a good idea at this time. She also appears distracted. I think you'd have a better shot at sparking emotions again in two to three weeks. Play with the timeline and don't worry so much about the connection. If it was an actual connection, it'll resurface.
    So I shouldnít bother with hitting her up Wednesday or Friday when Iím close to her school?

  4. #4
    Platinum Member Rose Mosse's Avatar
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    I'm not sure what you're looking for. I thought it was a relationship. If you're looking for some ongoing romance, I don't feel now's a good time. If you're looking to catch up as friends or casual acquaintances, hi would be nice.

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  6. #5
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    Originally Posted by Rose Mosse
    I'm not sure what you're looking for. I thought it was a relationship. If you're looking for some ongoing romance, I don't feel now's a good time. If you're looking to catch up as friends or casual acquaintances, hi would be nice.
    Iím not sure what Iím looking for, but I know I donít want to just end it and not see her again. I still donít know if Iím up for the long distance thing, myself but Iím willing to give it a try should we both have that same feeling.

  7. #6
    Platinum Member Rose Mosse's Avatar
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    If you feel strongly about it and miss her a lot, I don't see what the harm is in saying hello or letting her know you're in the area. It might help in the overall picture to just try and keep in mind she may be busy again or have other things going on. I don't think you should have to wonder about it if you feel very compelled to spend time with her. She has given you an answer already about not being ready for romance or a relationship. I think you should hear it again straight from her if that's the case. You might feel better about that instead of wondering 'what if' later this week.

  8. #7
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    Originally Posted by Rose Mosse
    If you feel strongly about it and miss her a lot, I don't see what the harm is in saying hello or letting her know you're in the area. It might help in the overall picture to just try and keep in mind she may be busy again or have other things going on. I don't think you should have to wonder about it if you feel very compelled to spend time with her. She has given you an answer already about not being ready for romance or a relationship. I think you should hear it again straight from her if that's the case. You might feel better about that instead of wondering 'what if' later this week.
    I wonder more about the consequences of long distance more than how I feel about her. I know I donít ďloveĒ her or anything, but I know I have strong feelings. I do agree that hearing everything in person would give me more closure on it. I hate having conversations like that over the phone but I didnít want to ruin the mood while she was here by talking about it. If I do end up seeing her I for sure wonít bring it up and Iíll just treat it as a normal visit. Iíll let her make a decision and go from there. She also isnít the best communicator over text so I could just be overthinking what she said but who knows.

    Thank you, though. Iíll definitely shoot her a text in the next couple days and let her know Iíll be in the area and see what happens. I really appreciate it.

  9. #8
    Silver Member BecxyRex's Avatar
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    Sounds like you guys are into each other, but timing is a bit inconvenient.
    Iíd give her space to settle in her new environment and put starting a relationship on the back burner for now. Sheíll need time to adjust to her new school and itís good that she seems to be making that a priority.
    You should likewise focus on your school for now and if it so happens that you go to school close to her you can slowly start from there.
    In the meantime I donít see anything wrong with catching up as friends here and there, but try to keep it balanced and let her come to you as well, as to not overwhelm her.

  10. #9
    Platinum Member Rose Mosse's Avatar
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    If you share good chemistry with her and end up meeting her later this week, I'd flirt a bit and not keep things too platonic.

    It might be a good idea also after that to understand that you both may be good in person together but not good with keeping up romantic or flirty conversations via text or phone. If one person is ok letting the spark fizzle out, remember it's not all on the other to keep things going. You deserve to find someone who's both interested in you and interested in maintaining a happy romance. It can happen! Either way, have fun and be safe.

  11. #10
    Platinum Member LC8328's Avatar
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    I think it'd be fine, but I'd advise dialing it back to grabbing some coffee, or some other outing that doesn't look like a date.

    I feel like if you straight out asked her to dinner it would make her feel suffocated, considering the last discussion you guys had. So casually asking if she wants to hang out with you out in public a bit is more friendly and I think she'd be open to that more.

    I hate to say this, but it's also possible she wants to keep her options open in case she meets someone at school. Good luck.

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