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Thread: Do women approach men first?

  1. #1
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    Do women approach men first?

    Does it happen that a girl approaches man first and shows clear interest in him or makes more effort than him to get a relationship with him? I am 25m, never had gf and this never happened to me. Is it normal? Most of my friends experienced this im my life, I have not. No girl ever asked me out nor showed clear interest in me and I am upset because I think it happens to everyone sometimes

  2. #2
    Platinum Member Cherylyn's Avatar
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    I'm sure it happens. Don't be upset. You never know when it's your turn for women to make the 1st move and ask you out for a date. I doubt it happens to "everyone" though.

  3. #3
    Platinum Member Clio's Avatar
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    Depends where you live. In Sweden it is indeed the norm I am told. In other countries not so much. Where I come from it only happens to good looking men i.e. definitely NOT everyone.

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    Originally Posted by Equator
    No girl ever asked me out nor showed clear interest in me and I am upset because I think it happens to everyone sometimes
    Donít be so ridiculous!!!
    These girls showed interest in your friends likely because the guys made eye contact or encouraged flirting!

    If you want to date you canít just sit in the corner and be an ornament!
    No one is going to flirt with a vase!

    Start making yourself visible even if just hanging out with friends and being sociable!!
    And make eye contact with other girls you are attracted to!
    Ask them out if you want!!

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  6. #5
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    Originally Posted by Equator
    Does it happen that a girl approaches man first and shows clear interest in him or makes more effort than him to get a relationship with him? I am 25m, never had gf and this never happened to me. Is it normal? Most of my friends experienced this im my life, I have not. No girl ever asked me out nor showed clear interest in me and I am upset because I think it happens to everyone sometimes
    Yes but it's more common in situations where it's not really an "approach" - where you're both doing activities you like doing or you're at an event in which you have a common interest and conversation naturally occurs as you all mingle - whether same gender, different, whatever. Yes, I asked out several men, no biggie. Yes, when I was dating asking out men especially more than once was not an effective way to find a long term relationship but worked great just for a date, a summer romance or fling, etc. Most men were flattered and most men I knew of back then (I stopped dating in 2005) were thrown off/lost interest if the woman asked them out especially more than once. But of course women should start conversations with men, flirt, ask to meet in person through a dating site rather than endless texting or skyping, etc.

    As far as "clear interest" I think if a woman (I assume since you're 25 you would like to date an adult woman, not a "girl" - since you are a man now not a boy, yes?) starts a conversation with you or is interested in continuing one then ask her if she'd like to go out for a meal, a hike, a bike ride, to see an exhibit at a museum (which was the last date my husband and I had, last month), to see a play, etc. You can even ask her if she wants to come volunteer with you at a local soup kitchen or food bank - great conversations from preparing food together especially for people who don't have the wherewithal to go out and get a good meal for themselves. For example.

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    Platinum Member Wiseman2's Avatar
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    Most of your friends are bragging and posturing. Ignore it. You need to be friendly, outgoing, have social skills, be able to make small talk and have the courage to ask girls out. It's that simple. If you sit there waiting for women to walk up to you and ask you out, you'll have dates with your hand, not women.
    Originally Posted by Equator
    Most of my friends experienced this im my life, I have not. No girl ever asked me out

  8. #7
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    Why aren't you approaching women? Your passiveness is the problem.

    Texting people everyday without asking them out is boring and a waste of time- I read your other thread.

    Put yourself out there and stop waiting for the woman to ask you out.
    Last edited by Hollyj; 08-18-2019 at 11:45 AM.

  9. #8
    Platinum Member j.man's Avatar
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    It happens. Women have approached me. I find it incredibly attractive. But it's rare.

    You'll have to play by the rules to some extent. One of them being men are still expected to initiate. It's not necessarily a bad thing. Speaking personally, I find the idea miserable to limit your prospects to the whims of others who take it upon themselves to approach you. Whether it's diffidence or entitlement, it's not an attractive look, and it's an even less attractive way to live. Brush your teeth, hit the gym, wear deodorant, and find some clothes that fit well. So long as you're not a d*ck, the formula honestly isn't that complicated. Get out there and socialize. 25 is a bit late to bloom, but it's a far cry from the 40-year old virgin. Try not to kick or pity yourself. That's equally a bad look.

  10. #9
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    Originally Posted by j.man
    It happens. Women have approached me. I find it incredibly attractive. But it's rare.

    You'll have to play by the rules to some extent. One of them being men are still expected to initiate. It's not necessarily a bad thing. Speaking personally, I find the idea miserable to limit your prospects to the whims of others who take it upon themselves to approach you. Whether it's diffidence or entitlement, it's not an attractive look, and it's an even less attractive way to live. Brush your teeth, hit the gym, wear deodorant, and find some clothes that fit well. So long as you're not a d*ck, the formula honestly isn't that complicated. Get out there and socialize. 25 is a bit late to bloom, but it's a far cry from the 40-year old virgin. Try not to kick or pity yourself. That's equally a bad look.
    Thx. What do you mean by the bloom thing? English is not my native language

  11. #10
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    Originally Posted by Equator
    Thx. What do you mean by the bloom thing? English is not my native language
    To flourish.

    Why aren't you asking women out?

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