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Thread: Trying to see the big picture...Advice?

  1. #1
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    Trying to see the big picture...Advice?

    Hey everyone, hope you're all doing well.

    Long story short...

    The last few years has been what I consider the worst times of my life. in September 2015 my partner of over 8 years decided to leave me for a guy who she ended up marrying a year later. It threw my whole world upside down, as all these dreams & goals that we had together (or thought we had made) just blew up in my face, & I was pretty much left to pick up the pieces of my now shattered life. I know this might sound childish, but I was so emotionally invested in this person for so long and now I found myself single again, & having to literally reset my life at 31.

    Looking back now at 35, I saw it as an opportunity to get to know me again & really think about what I really want in my life & how I want to live, but yeah t's been a very heart aching, painful, emotionally draining process for me...and I'm still in the process kind of, I'm in a much better place emotionally now.

    That being said, I decided that I wanted to be debt by April next year, so I've been working a full time warehouse job to help me achieve that which is keeping that goal on track.

    The reason I've been feeling depressed a lot lately is because im 35 years old, I've never travelled the world outside of Australia (which is where i'm from), I don't even have a passport. I'm pretty much putting everything I make to paying off my debts by April next year so I can be debt free.

    I've been trying to avoid social media, seeing everybody (including my ex), who seemingly be having a great time travelling all around the world, while I'm just trying to get myself out of debt & get my life back...I've made so many hard sacrifices in the last few years & sometimes feel like is it all been worth it? I'm really yearning to quit my job, pack my bags and start travelling the world. But at the same time, I have this other yearning to be in a position where I will be 100% debt free by April next year which will put me in a debt free lifestyle position, where I guess i'd be able to have more money for travelling and more freedom to do it. (I only have my car loan left to pay off.)

    And I also plan to moving interstate next year to Adelaide South Australia, which I really love too...the rent is much cheaper than Sydney (where I am now), it's more relaxing & I feel I can get ahead much faster there...and plus I really miss living there too, & given all that has happened in the last few years with my ex, my finances etc...all this happened in Sydney where I am now, so I feel I need to change states. So my current plan is to just stick it out with my job until April next, i'll be completely debt free by then, then I can resign from that job & leave for Adelaide around July, & start travelling after I leave my job in April.

    Right now I guess I'm feeling very anxious & impatient bcoz its been a long time to be at this point where I am so close to being debt free & moving away. And as bad as I want to travel right now, which I cud if i really want to, I keep having the same thought in my mind saying to me "Just stay the course, stay focused on being debt free in April. Travelling the world debt free will be much sweeter than travelling with debt."

    I know there's tonnes of debates out there about debt free travelling lifestyle vs travelling while in debt. For me personally, this is not just financial baggage im letting go of, its emotional baggage too from 2015. I really do love the idea of living a debt free lifestyle, no mortgage, no car payments etc...deep down i know my gut is telling me to keep my eyes on the main goal which is freedom of debt which will lead to lots of travel. And I don't want to be in a position where I have to work like a dog in some job to pay off the travel that I did a year ago.

    Since my car loan is the only debt I have left, by cutting back on nice things, clothes, travelling etc, until April next year, I'll have it all paid off 20 months earlier, which I guess would be 20 months gained for travelling the world debt free...and i'll also have the money I need to move back to Adelaide by July as well. In the meantime now, I've just been sticking to that plan, & actually planning my travelling, looking at prices etc ahead of time & just deciding where I would love to start my debt free travel lifestyle, which has been lifting my spirits.

    But yeah, I'm trying to stay focused on the main goal & not let myself feel depressed or tricked into travelling right now just because I'm seeing people on social media doing it. I guess it's only 6 months until I'm debt free, and what's a another 6 months to achieve a debt free life for travel? How many people out there could say that right?


    If anyone out there could shed some light on this that would be great. :-) I'm sorry for blabbering on...


    Love you guys!

  2. #2
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    Why not unfriend and/or block your ex? that way you are not seeing what she does.

    Also, its easy to assume other people are happy because they post on social media and its a skill to learn not to be envious. The grass is always greener.

    April is not all that far away. Keep your eye on the prize, as they say. When we set a goal that can be measured. If you get out of debt, you can then start to save to go on a trip and when you have saved enough, go on a trip. maybe a short one at first. If the housing is cheap in Adelaide, i am betting the wages are lower, as well. Do you have an idea what jobs are there and what you could make?

  3. #3
    Platinum Member shellyf62's Avatar
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    You werent happy with the advice we gave you yesterday on a very similar post?

  4. #4
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    You posted this exact same thing yesterday. Word for word, I believe.

    [Register to see the link]

    What question are you asking that didn't get answered in yesterday's post? If you're asking something else, we could help if we know what it is.

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  6. #5
    Super Moderator Capricorn3's Avatar
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    Thread already exists. Thread closed.


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