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Thread: Made a fool of myself

  1. #1
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    Made a fool of myself

    So a few weeks ago I had an amazing few days. I went to see my guitar hero, Johnny Marr and then had a weekend in Swansea for Hull City's first game of the season. Great food and ended up partying with Hen party.

    I went back to work on the Monday and was on a proper downer all week.

    My mate invited me to a party last Saturday, I only knew two or three people.

    But everyone seemed really chatty and friendly.

    Especially one lady who was there with her husband. Her husband got really drunk and ended up falling asleep. We sat on the doorstep and chatted for ages. She got really touchy, feely. Keep stroking my inner thigh and hand.

    We ended in the kitchen and she got even and more flirty and we ended up kissing. I vaguely remember her talking about having an affair.

    She added me on Facebook. I messaged her telling her that it was nice meeting her and I apologized for my behavior. She wanted to meet for coffee, but I've said it isn't a good idea.

    I feel worse now and have a sense of shame, embarrassment, and such a downer.

    I dare not even message my mate who hosted the party.

  2. #2
    Platinum Member Rose Mosse's Avatar
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    You probably shouldn't have done that but you can't undo what's already done. There was a lot of alcohol. Leave it alone and don't beat yourself up over it or look for more problems. In the grand scheme of things, it was meaningless and drunken. I don't think it's a good idea to air out your dirty laundry. Don't badmouth her either (it's not worth it and you'll just suffer more because you'll appear like a hypocrite if you take the moral high ground).

    If you're heavily into social media, delete and block her.

  3. #3
    Platinum Member LC8328's Avatar
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    Hey there,

    So I took a little peek at your other threads. I have a couple ideas for you.

    1) You let women put their hands all over you all the time, it seems. Even those you're not into. Why? You have a right to step away from them and say, "You're a great friend and I'd like to keep it that way." (regarding a past post)

    2) Stop drinking when you socialize. You said so yourself in another thread that you would handle situations differently had you not been drunk. Not saying it was the case in your current situation; just saw that was a running theme in your posts.

    Hey, you don't have to be embarrassed. Just realize that you could have handled it better and make smarter decisions for yourself. You're not a plaything. You're a person with feelings.

    The good point? You told this married woman it isn't a good idea. That was well done. Now give yourself some credit and get back out there and this time, look out for yourself.

  4. #4
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    In your shoes, I would tell your mate about it. Assuming your mate is not her husband.

    I think you did the right thing in the end - but you can be pretty sure that if anyone saw the two of you being cozy or noticed that you are now friends on Facebook and it gets back to her husband, that she is more than likely going to play the ďvictimĒ and say it was you who was the aggressor.

    I donít think you should make a huge deal about it - and I donít think itís your place to tell her husband - but I do think that, in your shoes, I would tell my friend about what happened so as to protect my friendship.

    Anyways - your call - but thatís what I would do. I donít think you should beat yourself up too much about it. She is the one who is married, she is the one who took some vows, and she is the one who pursued it all. Sure - it would have been nice to step away - but as far as I am concerned, she is the one who broke her vows. If it wasnít you, it likely would have been someone else. (Although - thatís not an excuse to keep doing that kind of thing)

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  6. #5
    Platinum Member Cherylyn's Avatar
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    You can't undo the past. Just change from this day forward.

    Unfriend her on FB because continuing contact with her will spell trouble later.

    It's good that you declined meeting her. She's messy and will mess up your life. Be smart and steer clear. Stay away from her and cut it off. Be safe with yourself and your life. Avoid shady people.

    Don't drink. Be clear headed so alcohol won't cloud your better judgment.

    Try not to feel bad. You made a mistake. Everyone makes mistakes. Correct yourself and do the right thing from now on. You'll be ok!

  7. #6
    Platinum Member Wiseman2's Avatar
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    Yes, just bury it and forget it. And stay clear of her.
    Originally Posted by TheCasual
    She added me on Facebook. I messaged her telling her that it was nice meeting her and I apologized for my behavior. She wanted to meet for coffee, but I've said it isn't a good idea.

  8. #7
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    OK so why accept her friend request on Facebook? I'm surprised you actually added her. She is cheating on her husband and unless you actually want an affair you really should have nothing to do with this woman ever again. You need to have stronger boundaries.

  9. #8
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    Firstly I want to thank people for not ripping into me. I thought I'd be crucified.

    I've no intention of having anything to do with.

    I just wish the guilt, embarrassment and fed upness would disappear.

  10. #9
    Platinum Member smackie9's Avatar
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    eh just let it go. And go no contact with this lady. Whatever happened, just keep it to yourself. Remember she is the real guilty party here....and she has most likely has done this repeatedly with other men, so stop feeling so bad about it.

  11. #10
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    I spoke to my mate who hosted the party.

    I apologised for what happened. He said he preferred it if it wasn't in his house and accepted my apology.

    We're going for dinner next week.

    I'm trying to forget what happened and move on. I still don't feel great though.

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