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Thread: What should I do

  1. #1
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    What should I do

    I have been dealing with a guy for the past 5 years, the moment I seen him I knew I wanted to be with him, we are currently not together however at some point in time I wanted us to be together & at some point he wanted us to be together & at that time he wanted us to I didn't because of what was going on with the both of us. since I told him no 2-3 years ago he has not wanted us to be together. He's a good guy & we talk quite often. I visit him time to time because we are states away now & It's nice to see him. Whenever I bring up or mention him & I being in a relationship he tells me that he doesn't want to be in one but yet we have sex & that disappoints me because after all this time I still want to be with him & we have been through so much the last 5 years. When I look at him I see pure happiness. We used to tell each other we love one another & now we no longer say it. After our talks about what we are he says there is no need to define what we are & sometimes I feel like I'm not good enough for him. I just don't know what to do anymore, I've had many thoughts of just putting him out of my life but my emotions always get in the way & then It's like he's the only person I really have that I'm completely myself around. I just don't want to wait around until he decides he wants to be with me. At the end of last year something happened between us & that caused us to not talk for months & I made a promise to myself that I would not keep putting myself in this situation but months later we started to talk again he mentions he wants me to visit him so I went to visit him & everything was fine until the talk of a relationship came up & again he mentions that he didn't want a relationship he says he's single & he can do what he wants, which I can't control but it's like why treat me the way you do (like a girlfriend) but don't want us together.

  2. #2
    Platinum Member reinventmyself's Avatar
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    Originally Posted by bluuuribon47
    why treat me the way you do (like a girlfriend) but don't want us together.
    Because you have taught him that you'll accept having sex with him on his terms.
    He doesn't treat you like a girlfriend. He doesn't say I love you, he won't commit to you and he's inconsistent.
    He's merely having sex with you and making minimal efforts to keep it coming. You visit him? Does he ever make the effort to visit you?
    He doesn't respect you.
    You need to respect yourself first.
    This has run it's course.
    Walk away, dust yourself off and spend sometime figuring out why you don't believe you deserve better than this.

  3. #3
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    He said he does not want to be in a relationship and does not have Feelings. He is using you for sex and does not respect you!

    How does he treat you like a gf?

    This will never go anywhere. He is a waste of time. Don't let people treat you like this!

    Block and delete this s guy so that you can move on with your life.

  4. #4
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    I hope you use condoms?

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  6. #5
    Platinum Member melancholy123's Avatar
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    Good grief. He's using you for sex and you let him away with it. He does that because he can. You are not a girlfriend you are a female to f*ck. Nothing else. Wake up and see that you are being used. You can do better than this.

  7. #6
    Gold Member Cherylyn's Avatar
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    He's a player and playing with YOU. He's just using you for sex. He doesn't want a relationship, he wishes to remain single, carefree, do what he wants, when he wants ~ which he can't control. He treats you the way he does because you give sex to him. You're his sex machine. You're a sex object to him. Wake up!

    It's been 5 years of wasting your life on him. You have no future with him so why bother? You should've dumped him years ago!

  8. #7
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    Do you always go to him and serve up the sex?

  9. #8
    Platinum Member Wiseman2's Avatar
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    You need to let go. Stop visiting him for sex. You can date locally and find a decent guy who wants what you want. But not as long as you keep this jerk in your life wishing and hoping it is mare than it really is. Are either of you married/in a relationship with someone?
    Originally Posted by bluuuribon47
    I have been dealing with a guy for the past 5 years
    Whenever I bring up or mention him & I being in a relationship he tells me that he doesn't want to be in one but yet we have sex
    At the end of last year something happened between us & that caused us to not talk for months

  10. #9
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    Where did you go , OP?

  11. #10
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    What should I do

    Originally Posted by reinventmyself
    Because you have taught him that you'll accept having sex with him on his terms.
    He doesn't treat you like a girlfriend. He doesn't say I love you, he won't commit to you and he's inconsistent.
    He's merely having sex with you and making minimal efforts to keep it coming. You visit him? Does he ever make the effort to visit you?
    He doesn't respect you.
    You need to respect yourself first.
    This has run it's course.
    Walk away, dust yourself off and spend sometime figuring out why you don't believe you deserve better than this.
    You're right & because I'm in college & he's in the military he can't visit much. But I realize I can't keep forcing whatever this is to work

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