Facebook share
LinkedIn share
Google plus share
Twitter plus share
Give Advice
Ask For Advice
Page 4 of 6 FirstFirst 123456 LastLast
Results 31 to 40 of 53

Thread: For those who are a bit older

  1. #31
    Gold Member Cherylyn's Avatar
    Join Date
    Mar 2019
    Posts
    855
    I'm so sorry ~Seraphim~.

    I can't speak for everyone. Whenever I start feeling down and lose self confidence and succumb to low self esteem, what helps me is working out. Granted, exercise isn't a picnic, however, exercise is non-negotiable for me so I force myself to do it even when I don't feel like dragging myself out there. I workout, sweat it out for over an hour, take an exhilarating shower, clean up, eat and feel like a million dollars! It gets me out of my blues. Also, I watch what I eat and constantly dieting like crazy in order to keep my weight under control and lose weight, too. I've since lost 35 pounds and never felt better.

    I do what I enjoy such as outings to the beach, lake, walks with my husband, my dog before she passed away a few months ago, occasional meals out, watch a great movie at home, cook delicious meals for my family and my hobbies. I enjoy the following hobbies: stamping / embossing greet cards for all occasions, calligraphy, crocheting, knitting, cross stitching, embroidery, sewing, quilting, wax sealing for envelopes, scrapbooking and cake decorating for all occasions. Enjoyable distractions are wonderful.

    To me, taking care of one's health is vitally important otherwise I'm no good to anybody. I turn into a lazy blob if I don't maintain my exercise and diet regimen like clockwork.

    No matter how hard life has been, I've always incorporated exercise and dieting for as long as I can remember and this diligence helps me cope with stress so much better. Suddenly, stress is not as bad as it really is. I can handle it. Exercise and dieting also changes the way I think. Instead of all doom and gloom all the time, I count my many blessings. I transform negatives into positive thoughts.

    I've had many insurmountable challenges throughout my life stemming all the way back to my painful childhood / teen / young adulthood years which continue to haunt me to this day. There are current stresses that I have to deal with. Having said that, whenever I concentrate on taking great care of my health, I feel as if I can take on the world. I look and feel great.

    I never want to live just like mainstream America. I want to be better than that so I work on it and all that hard work finally paid off.

    I keep body and soul together with diet, exercise and my Christian faith.

    Also, I'm grateful for my husband. He is the rock of the family. He's very handy, fixes everything such as cars and everything in the home. He maintains our house beautifully, does all plumbing, electrical, construction, everything. I never have to hire a contractor. He saves us a ton of money. He helps with child rearing ever since my sons were newborns, always picks up the slack, grocery shops, cooks, cleans the house, laundry and extremely helpful. I can always lean on him and fall back on him. He's my right hand man. He treats me with respect and love. He's just like his father. He is the love of my life.

    I'm grateful for my sons, my mother, siblings, my in-laws, relatives who reside far and near, my BFF ever since I was 9 years old whom I get together with 1 - 2 times a month for walks, dining out and shopping. I have a good life compared to long ago. I look for all the good going on in my life nowadays. My BFF said I have a "Cinderella story" and she is right. My BFF knew where I came from and she couldn't be more correct.

    I'm grateful for past hardships such as when I was a young girl having to support my widowed mother and siblings by working a 40 hours night shift job from 4PM to 1AM while enrolled in school full time by day. That was a rough and tough life and I've worked with awful people. Then a few years later, I met my husband and he opened up a whole new, fabulous, affluent world for me.

    While I'm exercising, I often think of those horrible years and how I was never able to enjoy my summers. I had no time for friends and no time to enjoy life because I was swamped with just trying to survive everyday. Whenever I compare my life today with back in the day, this keeps my body and soul together without going over the deep end.

    No pain no gain.

    When I attended my recent HS reunion, other former classmates had a different life than mine. They hailed from idyllic backgrounds, a comfortable middle class life, mom 'n pop 'n apple pie existence and everything I envied when I was growing up in my hometown. I so wanted their life. Fastforward to the reunion. I was shocked by their very high divorce rates, many of them didn't have good jobs that paid well, they were barely scraping by, broken families, economic hardship and life was not good to them. Many of them didn't end up faring well. I'm the complete opposite. My early life was an endless nightmare while they were partying away. My current life is a tremendous sigh of relief compared to back then.

    My country MIL (mother-in-law) has this old saying: "While everyone was busy sloshing around in the bucket of milk (partying hearty), the cream rises to the top." This means work hard now, enjoy life later. I did.

  2. #32
    Gold Member Cherylyn's Avatar
    Join Date
    Mar 2019
    Posts
    855
    Originally Posted by waffle
    Things changed for me after my daughter was murdered last year. I no longer tolerate toxic people; if someone says to me "I don't want you here" I'm gone instantly regardless of any sense of responsibility I might feel. If someone starts screaming at me that I'm not doing enough or trying to tell me what my priorities should be, I don't engage with that person. As a single mom who has dealt with more than most people ever will, I can tell you that sometimes it takes something major to happen to get to that point but once you do you'll see how ridiculous it all is, and how futile it is to jump through hoops to try and keep SOMEONE ELSE happy.

    You'd be amazed at how people change their approach once they realize that you are not putting up with their nonsense anymore. People only treat you poorly because they're allowed to. When you stop allowing it--and I don't mean talking to them and negotiating better treatment, because that does not work, ever, I mean you simply withdraw and decline to engage, firmly and consistently--people realize they are not going to get the results with you that they want/are used to, and things change. And if things don't change, you cut contact.

    From someone who learned the hard way.
    I'm extremely sorry for your loss, waffle.

  3. #33
    Platinum Member
    Join Date
    Mar 2006
    Posts
    49,916
    Cherlyn same for me with the exercise and how I feel after. Also non negotiable and Iíve been describing it that way to my spouse for years because he often had to accommodate me as far as child care. Rarely these days. And I make sure in various ways there will be no excuses - Iím pretty self motivated by now but have my ďjust in case Iím notĒ preventative measures. Seraphim - if you arenít doing this find something simple like power walking (my drug of choice ) - no gym necessary - just comfortable clothing and decent sneakers. And a water bottle even if itís cold out. Good luck !

  4. #34
    Gold Member Cherylyn's Avatar
    Join Date
    Mar 2019
    Posts
    855
    Batya33, I agree. When my sons were little, I awoke at 4AM to exercise and worked out on my own time instead of my family's time. I'm a better lady, wife, mother, daughter and friend whenever I exercise and diet diligently. I have a positive outlook on life and attitude for those around me. Exercise and diet are just like brushing my teeth. It gets done, no questions asked. I get the exercise over and done with and relax later.

  5.  

  6. #35
    Platinum Member
    Join Date
    Mar 2006
    Posts
    49,916
    Originally Posted by Cherylyn
    Batya33, I agree. When my sons were little, I awoke at 4AM to exercise and worked out on my own time instead of my family's time. I'm a better lady, wife, mother, daughter and friend whenever I exercise and diet diligently. I have a positive outlook on life and attitude for those around me. Exercise and diet are just like brushing my teeth. It gets done, no questions asked. I get the exercise over and done with and relax later.
    Yes, I would have done it that way if it was possible - that would have still been on my husband's time unfortunately back then. I have gotten up at 4am a couple of times when we were about to travel etc so that I could get it out of the way and not delay anyone getting ready to go. Seraphim - it really does make me so much more in tune with my body and to a slightly lesser extent my mind -but I mean I know my body and so when I feel less energy or something weird hurts while working out I know sooner rather than later what is going on. It's how I knew recently that my tooth issue likely was more of an emergency than I thought - and had oral surgery 7 hours later instead of delaying and being in a true emergency. What you're describing sounds like life gets a bit overwhelming. Something as simple as exercise (and yes, diet too) where you make a true commitment to yourself reminds you every day (or every other day if that suits you) that you really matter down to your toenails.

  7. #36
    Gold Member Cherylyn's Avatar
    Join Date
    Mar 2019
    Posts
    855
    I agree, Batya33. You squeeze in exercise whenever you can. I had to get up at 4AM and exercise before reporting to work everyday. If I wait until later, the day jams up and there goes my lost opportunity to workout.

    Hope you're much better post-oral surgery.

    ~Seraphim~ Try making exercise a regular part of your daily routine because it helps relieve stress, gives you endorphins and seratonins (nature's feel good hormones), you'll feel more energetic, gives you the power of positive thinking and you can cope with life's challenges better.

    Watch what you eat and clean up your diet, too because certain types of food will make you feel extra down, fatigued and depressed. Whenever my diet is sloppy or if I fall off the wagon, I pay dearly for several days. It's not worth the aftereffects.

  8. #37
    Platinum Member IAmFCA's Avatar
    Join Date
    Oct 2012
    Age
    53
    Posts
    10,383
    Gender
    Female
    One day at a time


    Lately, I have been trying to envision my goals. Like you, my job as a parent is morphing - though I am not yet an empty nester. My goals of raising my kids andhow-- those goals are being realized. So now I need a new goal and I haven't quite got that vision. But its coming, and it helps drive my day.

  9. #38
    Forum Supporter ~Seraphim ~'s Avatar
    Join Date
    Jul 2006
    Location
    Out of suffering have emerged the strongest souls; the most massive characters are seared
    Age
    52
    Posts
    36,516
    Gender
    Female
    My arthritis only allows for some walking. My knee keeps me up at night from the pain. And after 12 hours running after little kids all day and cleaning and cooking and prepping for the kids leaves me totally wiped out and ready for bed at 8 PM. I am wiped at the end of a day.

    But maybe a small walk at the end of the day.

    I do like crochet.

    We try to make Saturday just for us.

  10. #39
    Platinum Member
    Join Date
    Mar 2006
    Posts
    49,916
    Originally Posted by ~Seraphim ~
    My arthritis only allows for some walking. My knee keeps me up at night from the pain. And after 12 hours running after little kids all day and cleaning and cooking and prepping for the kids leaves me totally wiped out and ready for bed at 8 PM. I am wiped at the end of a day.

    But maybe a small walk at the end of the day.

    I do like crochet.

    We try to make Saturday just for us.
    Yes, I get it so I'd look into what you can do for yourself that moves your body other than the physical activity that is work related. It's wonderful that your job keeps you that active -that is so much better than a sedentary job for your health. And a short walk to start just for you sounds head clearing and great.

  11. #40
    Platinum Member maew's Avatar
    Join Date
    Dec 2017
    Posts
    1,451
    This is a well known phenomenon of the "sandwich" generation... those of us that are old enough to still have kids at home while also needing to care for aging parents. It's a really tough place to be, as we want to try and be there for those we love, and of course it's so stressful watching our loved ones fail slowly over time... I agree with others that this may be an opportunity to look at everything on your plate and see what you can say "no" to. Get it down to the absolute essentials that you "need" to do for yourself and your family, including your day to day work, and start filling any gaps you find with things that make you feel good... even if it's just here and there, those feel good moments are everything and we need them to look forward to in times like these.

Page 4 of 6 FirstFirst 123456 LastLast

Give Advice
Ask For Advice

Tags for this Thread

Posting Permissions

  • You may not post new threads
  • You may not post replies
  • You may not post attachments
  • You may not edit your posts
  •