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Thread: Half baked plan to be with someone in another state. Does it sound good?

  1. #11
    Gold Member Gary Snyder's Avatar
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    I hate to tell you this, but most long distance relationships don't work out. It's not like you see in the Hollywood movies.

  2. #12
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    "If you need a change in life and want to move there, don't do it unless you can financially live on your own and have set up a job there in advance. Tell her you need a change and even if dating her doesn't work out, that's okay. You will make the new place your home regardless. And then date her at the normal pace of any new relationship. IMO, that's the only way to ensure a higher risk for this plan."



    YES!!

    Do not move in with her. You do not know one another.

  3. #13
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    This is really not a good idea at all, OP.

    You donít know this person in any true sense. Going from online friends to living together has disaster written all over it. You have no clue if youíre compatible in person, much less able to stand each other 24-7. Very ill-advised plan, here.

    Youíre clearly still hurting over your last break-up as well. This is not the circumstance under which to move in with a new woman. Itís very unlikely to go well.

  4. #14
    Platinum Member Wiseman2's Avatar
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    At most make a very brief visit to catch up as friends for a change of scene. If you can't stand where you moved to, start looking for jobs in your hometown where friends and family are and talk to them about moving back to that location. But do not move to this old friend to assuage recent breakup pain and loneliness.
    Originally Posted by Beastelstein
    05-31-2019

    I think about her everyday and it's incredibly soul crushing. This was my first real long term partner and I loved her since a young age. I've been obsessively trying to find new dates or social opportunities even though I know I'm not ready.

  5.  

  6. #15
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    Going to visit the area and not staying with her but agreeing to meet for lunch or dinner is perfectly fine. Thinking this woman is the love of your life is not

  7. #16
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    "At the time I had met her she was in a relationship and by the time she was single I was in a relationship."

    So in other words, this is someone you kind of know, and you've never had a thing. You've been in a relationship. You know that the person you meet on the surface isn't always the person you discover when you peel back the layers. You've been in a situation where you felt cut off and like your world consisted mainly of just you and the other person, and how suffocating it was when that world started to go bad. Moving somewhere new to meet someone who you only know at the surface level for whom the timing has never worked out in the past sounds like a huge risk. You could easily end up in a similar type of prison you haven't quite emerged from before.

  8. #17
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    Originally Posted by saluk
    "At the time I had met her she was in a relationship and by the time she was single I was in a relationship."

    So in other words, this is someone you kind of know, and you've never had a thing. You've been in a relationship. You know that the person you meet on the surface isn't always the person you discover when you peel back the layers. You've been in a situation where you felt cut off and like your world consisted mainly of just you and the other person, and how suffocating it was when that world started to go bad. Moving somewhere new to meet someone who you only know at the surface level for whom the timing has never worked out in the past sounds like a huge risk. You could easily end up in a similar type of prison you haven't quite emerged from before.
    Yeah, relocating for a woman didn't work out so great last time. I get that you're trying desperately to ease the pain, but jumping straight into the EXACT SAME SITUATION with someone you barely know is not the answer.

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