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Thread: Secret relationship?

  1. #21
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    Originally Posted by FraniMar22
    So, no one here feels like he's hiding something -- just me being insecure? Maybe I should note at least twice he has had his relationship all over Facebook with pictures, etc. So, it can't be that he's too private. I saw the pictures and the comments. Why so different for me?
    Are we reading the same responses? He is on a dating site, flirting with other girls, keeps you on the periphery of his life, and is keeping you a secret. Where do you not see him "hiding something?" There is no future with this guy! Stop making excuses.

    Dump him and get some counseling.

  2. #22
    Platinum Member SherrySher's Avatar
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    I agree with Bolt...if that's what you look like in real life in your profile pic...you can get a man!! and a decent one at that who is proud of you.

    You don't need this jerk who hides you.

  3. #23
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    My ex didn't want me on his Facebook. It was because he wanted to appear totally single to other women so he could try to "hook up" with them. He even introduced me as his "bestest friend" to a woman he'd met who he wanted to sleep with. Right in front of me.

    Sadly, back then I was like you, wanting to hang on desperately despite the evidence being shoved in my face. I had no self esteem. Not a shred. Lucky for me he dumped me, otherwise I might still be acting a fool.

  4. #24
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    Originally Posted by SherrySher
    He is hiding something...he's hiding YOU.

    He does not want you claiming territory on his FB page and he is getting angry over you trying to do it.

    He wants to look like he's single and by the sounds of it, nothing is going to change his mind.

    Heck no, you're not being insecure, FB now a days is the announcement place to all if anyone important enters your life.
    He doesn't want that with you.
    Last week when we were discussing it, I told him I felt like he didn't want anyone knowing we were together. That set him off and he got really pissed off, then went silent and refused to speak to me. It was the first time I ever saw him get like that. And, I agree, if he loves me like he says he does, he should be proud -- like I am. He's a huge part of my life right now. Why would I not want to share that?

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  6. #25
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    Originally Posted by FraniMar22
    Last week when we were discussing it, I told him I felt like he didn't want anyone knowing we were together. That set him off and he got really pissed off, then went silent and refused to speak to me. It was the first time I ever saw him get like that. And, I agree, if he loves me like he says he does, he should be proud -- like I am. He's a huge part of my life right now. Why would I not want to share that?
    YOU want to share. HE doesn't.

    What about this makes you want to hold on? And please, not that old tired "but I LOVE him!!!" excuse.

  7. #26
    Platinum Member SherrySher's Avatar
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    Mine too...he put me on a facebook page that he created just minutes before. Said I was "special" and that he didn't want everyone to see me on main incase they tried to steal me from him...blah blah....

    He was full of it, he just wanted to segregate me because he had other women on his page and didn't want them to know I was his girlfriend.

    That was a very easy dump. I don't need that crap and neither do you!!

  8. #27
    Member FraniMar22's Avatar
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    Originally Posted by SherrySher
    I agree with Bolt...if that's what you look like in real life in your profile pic...you can get a man!! and a decent one at that who is proud of you.

    You don't need this jerk who hides you.
    Yep, that's me in real life. And, thank you. I have never made good choices when it comes to men. I have no idea why. It's almost like I feel like I want to shame him into being truthful with me so he can feel like a piece of for playing me -- and then I can have a melt down over being hurt.

  9. #28
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    Originally Posted by FraniMar22
    So, no one here feels like he's hiding something -- just me being insecure? Maybe I should note at least twice he has had his relationship all over Facebook with pictures, etc. So, it can't be that he's too private. I saw the pictures and the comments. Why so different for me?
    I don't think this is just you being insecure, but then again, I'm biased based on my last relationship, which was almost exactly the same, including finding him still on dating sites. You can scroll through my prior threads, but I'll save you the trouble: this is who he is. Lots of exes on Facebook, the whole thing.

    It isn't just stupid "social media"; it's his tool that he knows will hurt you. He knows this bothers you, so he continues. Not "but" he continues, but "so" he continues. He does this because he knows you don't like it, not in spite of that fact. Does that make sense? He keeps up with the exes, the dating sites (yes, he's probably still on some, just with different user names), and keeps you out of site because he knows it'll get a rise out of you, plus it keeps him open to others.

    The fact that you've noticed prior relationships, with pictures still, is also telling: he wants you to see those, to be bothered by them. It keeps his ego fed.

    Social media is, for him, a big ego shovel, and you are digging up all the dirt and feeding it straight to him.

    Now on to you: yes, you need some therapy. I'm not saying that lightly, I'm saying please, go get some help for yourself to discover why you're allowing this. My guess is, there is some family of origin stuff deep down there for you. It took me about a year after the breakup of different therapists, millions of internet searches, books, and even a therapy weekend retreat before I finally got my aha! Keep on searching until you find yours.

  10. #29
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    Originally Posted by FraniMar22
    Last week when we were discussing it, I told him I felt like he didn't want anyone knowing we were together. That set him off and he got really pissed off, then went silent and refused to speak to me. It was the first time I ever saw him get like that. And, I agree, if he loves me like he says he does, he should be proud -- like I am. He's a huge part of my life right now. Why would I not want to share that?
    He knew what you were saying was true. he has no intention of letting you into his life, and making a commitment. You can use FB as an excuse, but I hope you address the bigger picture: you are in a lousy relationship.

    He does not love you.

  11. #30
    Platinum Member SherrySher's Avatar
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    That set him off and he got really pissed off, then went silent and refused to speak to me.
    Of course it's gonna set him off. Then he can't have his cake and eat it too. A girlfriend who shuts up and stays in the shadows and also cute women on FB whom he can flirt with and thinks he's single.

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