Originally Posted by bluecastle
I remember your last feed very clearly. We can continue to focus on the nitty gritty of social media, or we can focus on what the nitty-gritty points at: that you are deeply uncomfortable inside this relationship, more anxious than calm, more doubtful than secure. When those become the dominant feelings in a relationship it’s typically best to listen to them rather than try to eliminate them through tags, status updates, and the creation of proxy tests where FB becomes the barometer of emotional health.
Whether he’s just not into it as you are, or whether he’s just not into FB as you are, the path you’re on is a path to heightened nerves and discomfort not calm and deeper connection. I mean, there’s a reason you think he’s only doing these gestures for you to see: because he is. He’s trying to offer you something to soothe you while also being himself, be that a man who is more private on FB or a man who is not as committed to this as you are.
Speaking for myself? This would drive me bonkers. I’m in a relationship with someone I am crazy about. If my gf wanted to announce, in a status update, that we are together I’d be weirded out, because I don’t do that. Never have. Fortunately, it doesn’t come up, ever. We’re on the same page on that, one of those little things that make the big thing possible. If she needed someone who validated the relationship through social media—no judgement, but it would mean I’m not the one for her and she’s not the one for me.
Maybe it’s time to think about it in those terms rather than in the dizzying muck of tags, likes, and updates?