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Thread: I was dating my friends friend...

  1. #1
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    I was dating my friends friend...

    I started seeing my friends friend. Everything was great at the beginning. He seemed like he really liked me and made an effort.
    He then started making excuses for not texting me back and in general not making an effort.

    After days of not hearing from him, I had enough and thought this isn't going anywhere. So I messaged him saying I hope there are no hard feeling and I hope we can be friend's. I never heard back from him. To be honest, I was expecting no response.

    I now am worried it's going to cause a problem with me and my friends. They all went out as a group last night for a friend's birthday so I know the guy I was seeming is going to about me to my friend.

    Is it best just to take a step back and let the dust settle?

    I have anxiety and this is really stressing me out.

  2. #2
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    How long did you date?

    I have dated friend's friends and ended things. No one cared. I think you are making more out of this than needs to be, as nothing nasty happened between the two of you.

    When you see them, don't bring him up. If they ask, just tell them the truth.

    There is no "dust" that needs settling. I seriously doubt that he was talking about you, as he didn't seem interested.
    Last edited by Hollyj; 08-10-2019 at 09:01 AM.

  3. #3
    Platinum Member Andrina's Avatar
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    If a friend is no longer your friend because you dumped her other friend due to it not working out for you, then the person was never that good a friend to begin with.

    If a friend ever ends things, you can always make new friends. The majority of friendships never last a lifetime anyway. There is usually a natural evolution of friendship over a lifetime. Some grow stronger, some fade away, and some totally end. Don't be so anxious about things you don't have control over. The only control you have is being a good friend, and if that's not good enough for someone, oh well.

  4. #4
    Platinum Member Rose Mosse's Avatar
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    It didn't work out. I'm sorry. He's that kind of person. Let it go and lower more expectations. Leave him alone and don't think much of the whole thing. I agree with Holly. Don't bring it up either and if your friends want the low down just be honest but with as little words as possible. I like the simple "Thanks but no chemistry'" and a shrug.

    There was only once I agreed to meet a friend of a friend and it didn't go well. He turned out to be looking for one thing and one thing only albeit a nice guy. I played along thinking he'd get a bit better throughout the date. He even tried to invite himself over. I wasn't feeling it. Sometimes it doesn't work out. Don't worry about it and go out and meet new people.

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  6. #5
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    I donít think you have anything to be embarrassed or ashamed about. I hate the whole ghosting-as-a-breakup-mechanism thing. Itís weird and uncalled for, IMO, unless you feel the person could be dangerous.

    I think you took the high road. He was being weird, so you presented an ďoutĒ and offered friendship. Awesome! Most people would have appreciated that.

    Donít stress about it. Iím sure your friends wonít care much. Head high. Better to find someone with better social graces and communication skills :)

  7. #6
    Platinum Member smackie9's Avatar
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    The dust settle??? You did the right thing by dumping him because he was fading. TBH by the sounds of it he wasn't too broken up about it and probably wanted things to end, just didn't have the guts. I'm sure your friends won't give a rat's butt about it. Maybe he confided to a few that he wasn't interested in you anymore. Anyways it is what it is.....you shouldn't have to change a thing because things didn't work out.

  8. #7
    Platinum Member Cherylyn's Avatar
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    Obviously, your date is no longer interested in you so don't bother contacting him anymore. No more messages.

    Don't worry about your relationship with your friends. Let it go. Should your paths cross with your previous date, just act natural. Know it didn't work out, remain peaceful, polite and respectful. It's all you can do given that you share mutual friends with him.

    You don't have to take a step back nor wait for the dust to settle. There is no dust to settle.

    Calm down. Enjoy being your friends and the group and don't feel awkward. Chalk it up to the date not working out and be nice. You don't have to be unnaturally kind or nice, just nice and polite. Don't stress because he isn't stressing over you either. Move on, act mature and you will be ok!

  9. #8
    Platinum Member catfeeder's Avatar
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    People care far less about our love lives than we imagine. I'd go about business as usual without discussing the one you dated, and if someone raises the subject, I'd just say that it didn't work out. I'd be civil if our paths cross, and beyond that, what's to worry about?

  10. #9
    Platinum Member smackie9's Avatar
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    Here's a tip, you worry what people are thinking about you when in reality, they are just thinking about themselves, going about their business.

  11. #10
    Platinum Member Wiseman2's Avatar
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    Yes, just let the cards fall wherever they may. Not much you can do about that. Just carry on as usual with your confidence in place.
    Originally Posted by sophielove111
    Is it best just to take a step back and let the dust settle?


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