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Thread: He booked a hotel room...

  1. #41
    Platinum Member Wiseman2's Avatar
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    Make sure you are crystal clear that you are meeting as friends. Yes it's quite rude to cancel last minute. You do not have to sleep with him. Do not meet him in or at his hotel if you feel "ick" about his comments and vibe. No, he's not booking all this to catch up with a former coworker and you are well aware of that.
    Originally Posted by Elpida90

    He suggested we meet for a dinner and I agreed
    he immediately booked his tickets and a fancy hotel room.

    He also made a joke about some heels I wore in a social media photo and how I should wear them and "keep them on" - ick!

    Since hes already paid for his hotel and train, is it unspeakable to cancel the day before?

  2. #42
    Platinum Member Jibralta's Avatar
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    Originally Posted by Hollyj
    [/B]
    Not true. The reservation could be non refundable, and not all properties allow 24 hours to cancel-could be 48 hours, or even a week. But, it is not her problem.
    I've never experienced either, and I book overnight stays pretty frequently. But I guess you could be right.

    As you and others have agreed, it's his dime.

    He has the right to be an idiot who books at hotels that require nonrefundable prepayment in full, when the world is filled with hotels that do not require it.

    Bottom line is, she doesn't have to sleep with him and she has the right to cancel dinner.

    Would have been nice if she didn't wait until the last minute to cancel, but oh well.

  3. #43
    Platinum Member catfeeder's Avatar
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    It's not the hotel room that would bother me. I wouldn't drive 2 or more hours for a dinner and then expect to drive back, so I'd book a room to enjoy the city the next morning before my drive back. But the shoes thing comes off as presumptuous, and I would have checked that. "That comment makes me uncomfortable because I don't think of us as being that intimate. Maybe meeting up is not a good idea."

    Then the rest is on him.

  4. #44
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    So does he have a long trip to make to meet you? He could have booked a hotel room also for that reason? I think it's a bit wrong to call this guy a creep and sleaze and whatever. Yes he booked the room maybe hoping if the night goes well, something intimate may happen. But unless he acts pushy we don't actually know yet if he's being a creep.

    I also think that he doesn't know OP is not that attracted to him. They had spent time together before and kissed and had been in touch regularly over social media. Their interaction had been romantic, not just friends. The guy has made it very clear that he is interested and they are going out for dinner. In his eyes his interest is reciprocated and this is a date. So it's not like he's acting sleazy towards someone who said they are not interested. He thinks that she is interested so he made a flirty comment about the high heels. It's not that creepy if he thinks she's into him too. We are only hearing her side of the story but to him this whole situation probably looks very different. People don't kiss someone and then continue talking a lot and go on a dinner date if they have no interest. So to him this looks like romantic interest.

    I do actually think that she is leading him on. Maybe the intentions are good but the thing is that attraction can't actually be forced. She was not attracted to him before and even after actually kissing that didn't change. I think the kiss should have been enough to know if there is attraction or not and sounds like there's not. Of course she doesn't owe him sex but this is a date so she is giving him the wrong message that it's not just friends. This guy has been interested in her for more than a year and talking a lot because he likes her. If all this happened to me and then get told: "this dinner is just meeting as friends", I would be very annoyed and feel like that person had been wasting my time for more than a year.

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  6. #45
    Platinum Member Jibralta's Avatar
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    Originally Posted by catfeeder
    It's not the hotel room that would bother me. I wouldn't drive 2 or more hours for a dinner and then expect to drive back, so I'd book a room to enjoy the city the next morning before my drive back.
    Same. I do this too. So, him booking the hotel room actually doesn't set off alarm bells for me.

  7. #46
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    Originally Posted by Jibralta
    I've never experienced either, and I book overnight stays pretty frequently. But I guess you could be right.

    As you and others have agreed, it's his dime.

    He has the right to be an idiot who books at hotels that require nonrefundable prepayment in full, when the world is filled with hotels that do not require it.

    Bottom line is, she doesn't have to sleep with him and she has the right to cancel dinner.

    Would have been nice if she didn't wait until the last minute to cancel, but oh well.
    So many of the popular chains (not sure if allowed to mention by name here) changed their policy in the last year or two so that there is typically now a 48 hour cancellation policy not 24 (or even less than 24) -we know this because we stay at two of the most popular chains and sometimes a third and have a child so it's dicier to have a 48 hour cancellation policy because with 24 you have a shot at cancelling due to child illness for example. And once in awhile we do nonrefundable for international travel where that seems more popular lately plus sometimes the rate is so much cheaper the risk is worth it (or we by insurance). I don't think he's an idiot at all if that is what he did but it was a poor choice to book a room in this context in the first place and kind of creepy. The creepy part is he told her. He told her to make sure she understands what he's hoping for -just like in my hypothetical (and another time where I was told to "bring a toothbrush" for a fourth date and I explained to him before the date that it wasn't going to happen) - had he booked the room for his own convenience that's fine -either don't tell her or make it clear to her that is why so she doesn't feel uncomfortable.

  8. #47
    Platinum Member Jibralta's Avatar
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    Iím not looking to argue about hotels on someoneís thread. I already conceded about the 48 hour thing although I have not yet seen it. As for prepaid non refundableó i could be wrong, but I feel pretty confident that heís not booking a vacation or international travel to go to dinner. It would take a special kind of dumb to commit to a non refundable prepayment when you donít have to.

  9. #48
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    It doesn't matter if his hotel room is refundable or not.

    What matters is, he was presumptuous in booking it in the first place, and she was limp in not telling him the second she heard about this, that the room was his decision, and for his use only.

    That's the point here.

  10. #49
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    Originally Posted by Jibralta
    Iím not looking to argue about hotels on someoneís thread. I already conceded about the 48 hour thing although I have not yet seen it. As for prepaid non refundableó i could be wrong, but I feel pretty confident that heís not booking a vacation or international travel to go to dinner. It would take a special kind of dumb to commit to a non refundable prepayment when you donít have to.
    I understand. Misread your post and agree with LHGirl.

  11. #50
    Gold Member Gary Snyder's Avatar
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    Let's see.......a long distance relationship with a man who's not a gentleman and you want to go to a hotel for the second date? Plus, you don't like him like he likes you, so you are a serial dater. I don't even know where to start, there are so many red flags here.

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