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Thread: Not sure what to think. Need help!

  1. #1
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    Not sure what to think. Need help!

    Hi, ok Iíve been talking to a guy for a while couple of months, we text and he calls me everyday. We seem to get on really well. We both were not looking for a relationship at the time of meeting but we have suddenly become close and he want something more serious. We are both in our 30s. This sounds all appealing but there is a few issues/problems or even maybe red flags. He is a widow, his wife only died a month ago, I was only there as support at first for him. His wife died of cancer which is very sad. Now he is wanting a relationship with me, he says he did all of his grieving when she was dying. Is that possible? He tells me he even loves me and wants a future with me. I am trying to keep him at a distance as Iím not sure he really does love me or is just extremely lonely? I understand that some people might judge this and think itís crazy but he is extremely convincing that he loves me and wants to be with me. I do suffer from overthinking and anxiety so Iím not sure if Iím just overthinking this? Please be kind to me, no harsh comments. Thank you.

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    Gold Member SarahLancaster's Avatar
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    Have you met him in person?

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    Originally Posted by SarahLancaster
    Have you met him in person?
    No Iíve not. I know this all sounds bad but he is extremely convincing.

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    Platinum Member melancholy123's Avatar
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    OMG this is sick. That man is not over his wife, she only died a month ago. He is not in love with you, he doesnt even know you. You havent even met him! He probably is lonely, I dont doubt that, but this is not right. You'd be a rebound in a really sad way.

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  6. #5
    Platinum Member figureitout23's Avatar
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    Originally Posted by Cinderella000
    Hi,
    Ok hereís the problem I seem to get insecure when a man I like (get feelings) tells me they love me. I noticed this after I was getting strong feelings for this guy and he told me he loved me, I was happy and extremely flattered but I suddenly started to become very insecure. I started to become slightly different, a bit more needy which was not me and Iím not a needy person. I think thatís one of the reasons he liked me because I wasnít clingy. Why is this? What can I do? Do I need to work more on loving myself more? Am I scared that they will stop loving me? Has anyone else felt like this? Thanks in advance x
    Same guy?

    Originally Posted by figureitout23
    How long is this relationship? It could be your BS meter going off
    If so, man my advice was spot on!

  7. #6
    Platinum Member maew's Avatar
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    He is not over her or he would be dating women in real life instead of over the phone.

    Red flags indeed... also for you OP as you are attracted to unavailable men.

    I would even go further to say this guy may be catfishing you with this story and may not be who he says he is.

  8. #7
    Platinum Member bluecastle's Avatar
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    Originally Posted by Cinderella000
    Iím not sure he really does love me or is just extremely lonely?
    I wonder what your answer to this question would be if you asked it of yourself instead of him.

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    Gold Member SarahLancaster's Avatar
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    Sounds like he could be a scammer.

  10. #9
    Platinum Member melancholy123's Avatar
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    Originally Posted by maew
    I would even go further to say this guy may be catfishing you with this story and may not be who he says he is.
    I thought that too, he may be full of sh*t as well as stringing you along. He may be a she, for all you know.

  11. #10
    Platinum Member Rose Mosse's Avatar
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    You're losing with this one, C.
    1) you're randomly there for support for an online man you've never met (what's going on in your life that you're so available?) 2) he's dealing with some heavy stuff 3) he pulled the L word on you and you probably don't even know if he has a birthmark or where 4) you're second guessing yourself, wasting your time and your breath over someone you don't know

    What happened here? What's going on with you that this is happening?

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