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Thread: Is there any fixing this mess?

  1. #11
    Member ThatGirlTayl's Avatar
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    Originally Posted by aydenkk90
    I cracked after a lot of abuse. I know I made terrible mistakes.
    You need to quit while you're ahead. Right now you are coming off as very clingy, desperate, and needy. Do you think those are the characteristics she is looking for in a partner? You need to stop all contact and get some professional help. You do not want her and her family getting a restraining order against you because you just can't stop.

  2. #12
    Platinum Member Cherylyn's Avatar
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    No, I'm sorry, you can't fix this. There is no hope. Don't love this girl anymore because there is no future with her.

    Even though you messed up with the "anonymous" message, hounding her relentlessly and postal mailing her family letters, none of them were right for you either.

    Remember, they called you fat, lazy, perverted, desperate, fake religious, etc. Anyone who is capable of that level of meanness is never to be trusted ever again. It's over and good riddance!

    You really need to move on with you life and learn to choose the right lady in the future. Avoid abusive, toxic, dysfunctional, mentally ill people like the plague!

  3. #13
    Platinum Member Wiseman2's Avatar
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    Get help and stop contacting them.
    Originally Posted by aydenkk90
    I cracked after a lot of abuse. I know I made terrible mistakes.

  4. #14
    Platinum Member catfeeder's Avatar
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    No, this is a done deal. The problem with taking a pot shot at a family member, most especially the mother, is that as abusive as a family might be, they're all jerks together. An outside person insulting any one of them makes them unite more strongly with one another in a giant grudge against that person.

    So even if ex GF feels an occasional pang toward wanting you back, she knows that her family would likely disown her for that. She knows that your relationship would only crumble under that kind of pressure, because her whole support system would be gone, and over time she'd come to resent you for that and eventually go back to them.

    The only way that this ex can ever jump the family ship for you is if the idea comes internally and completely from her. Any contact from you will only prompt her to dig in her heels even harder against you, so I'd quit the idea of trying to convince her of anything. That's a lose/lose, so I'd move my focus forward and beyond this valuable life lesson so that you can build a fabulous life for yourself.

    We all make mistakes, but we each get to choose whether they'll teach us resilience or whether we'll use them to harm ourselves as we drill a deeper hole to climb out of. I'd lose the spin and opt to become my own best friend, instead.

    Head high.

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  6. #15
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    There is no hope here, man.

    The family doesn't like you. Warranted or not, they don't want you in her life and they are not going to accept you. She is unlikely to go against them.

    Your behavior after the break-up was incredibly inappropriate and troubling. That is what will keep her away for good. Please, use this as a turning point and seek some professional help for yourself. Your coping mechanisms are destructive and will create similar problems in future relationships if you don't address them now.

  7. #16
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    I know. My mind just couldn't take losing her to such stupidity.

  8. 08-09-2019, 11:49 AM
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    Inappropriate

  9. #17
    Platinum Member Rose Mosse's Avatar
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    Originally Posted by aydenkk90
    I know. My mind just couldn't take losing her to such stupidity.
    You're acknowledging your mistakes.. that's the first step. There are plenty of women out there and plenty of people to meet and experiences to experience. Don't stay stuck in this vortex! I still think some more time on your own would help before entering another relationship but there's a lot to enjoy and live past all this. Dare yourself to live better, more freely, without all this hanging over you like a dark cloud. It's time to start over.

  10. #18
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    I did learn. I did learn. Its 7 months later and I can't even sit with my family and enjoy them without the depression kicking in. I can't enjoy friends without these thoughts filling my mind. I can't believe I ruined the relationship in a way that there is no turning back- especially given how much I love her. Then I made it worse and worse. Im afraid I won't have a love like that again. I should have been stronger during the bad times.

  11. #19
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    Originally Posted by aydenkk90
    I did learn. I did learn. Its 7 months later and I can't even sit with my family and enjoy them without the depression kicking in. I can't enjoy friends without these thoughts filling my mind. I can't believe I ruined the relationship in a way that there is no turning back- especially given how much I love her. Then I made it worse and worse. Im afraid I won't have a love like that again. I should have been stronger during the bad times.
    You didn't learn if you keep contacting her family. When its over, its over. you must accept that.

  12. #20
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    Originally Posted by aydenkk90
    Im afraid I won't have a love like that again. I should have been stronger during the bad times.
    No, you had to have more respect for yourself to walk out of a messy relationship. Not
    "try harder"

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