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Thread: Told a girl the truth.

  1. #21
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    Originally Posted by catfeeder
    How did she respond?
    She thanked me for telling her before she got attached. She said that she saw red flags about how I explained what I wanted to her. She said she had already went through the hookup ďfazeĒ in her life. She said she was really bummed out and needed time to decide if she wanted to continue to talk to me as friends.

  2. #22
    Platinum Member Rose Mosse's Avatar
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    I see the situation more like two people who jumped to sex too fast, he didn't dig her that much and she called too often. If she's already over the hookup phase, she sure didn't look like it. OP is beating himself up too much for no reason. Go out and have fun.

  3. #23
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    Originally Posted by figureitout23
    A - freakin - men.

    Sorry, I just see your actions as selfish, remember that woman you rebounded with? you clung to her like white on rice because you were rebounding and she only wanted casual, triggering your vulnerability, instead of being casual you attempted to turn into a stage 5 clinger, this girl actually wanted a relationship, triggering your flight reaction, why do you have a flight reaction? Because you arenít healed, youíre using dating to cope. I think you feel bad because deep down you know what youíre doing.



    You knew all this before you got laid... right? The distance and your mindset... yet you continued.... you did the right thing being straightforward so kudos for that, seriously, good for you, but good grief dude be single or stop presenting yourself as a healthy dude looking for a relationship, you arenít that guy, not right now... she could be perfect, you are the issue right now and until you heal youíre going to keep rejecting Ďgoodí women and chasing Ďuninterestedí women...
    I was upfront with her that I didnít know what I wanted. I feel guilty because I like her in some ways when I thought wouldnít. It scares me a bit but Iím only interested in casual stuff. In this moment in my life I know Iím not ready for a relationship. Iíve been focusing on me and getting my own life together.

    I didnít talk her into sex(she made all the first moves). I pride myself on being very easy going and comforting. I had good conversations with her and I like talking to her but I kinda felt myself getting drawn in by it. Itís scary because I could feel myself getting attached to the comfort she provided. In the end I knew what she was looking for and I knew I couldnít be that.

  4. #24
    Platinum Member Wiseman2's Avatar
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    Ok, the air is cleared. Don't expect to hear from her.
    Originally Posted by Austino96
    She said she had already went through the hookup ďfazeĒ in her life. She said she was really bummed out and needed time to decide if she wanted to continue to talk to me as friends.

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  6. #25
    Platinum Member figureitout23's Avatar
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    Originally Posted by Austino96
    I was upfront with her that I didnít know what I wanted. I feel guilty because I like her in some ways when I thought wouldnít. It scares me a bit but Iím only interested in casual stuff. In this moment in my life I know Iím not ready for a relationship. Iíve been focusing on me and getting my own life together.

    I didnít talk her into sex(she made all the first moves). I pride myself on being very easy going and comforting. I had good conversations with her and I like talking to her but I kinda felt myself getting drawn in by it. Itís scary because I could feel myself getting attached to the comfort she provided. In the end I knew what she was looking for and I knew I couldnít be that.
    Not quite sure how that isnít exactly what i just said...

    Iím just not sugar coating it.

    What youíre saying is youíre dating to cope.

    Stop. OR since you knew you couldnít be what she was looking for bid her farewell after meeting one... next woman you encounter before you heal because youíre going to continue we both know you are, establish youíre casual, call me crazy I think the next girl who plays hard to get will have you just like vacation girl did...this is SO much deeper than incompatibilities... so much... youíre not healed yet.

  7. #26
    Platinum Member smackie9's Avatar
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    You did the right thing so stop feeling that you have failed....IMO everyone is OK, and time to just move forward.

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