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Thread: Reconnecting Problem

  1. #1
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    Reconnecting Problem

    I've been in a intimate relationship with this guy for 10 years. He's older at 51, and he lives out of state. We've always had this intense sexual chemistry, even up until he told me something right before I was planning to come see him.

    Four days before, he said he had some bad news and said he was "called out" of the country" during the time I was "meant to come over." His father lives alone in Mexico, and he said he was in the hospital. Then, he said he would be there "indefinitely, " and that he would let me know "when and if I get back." He said it wouldn't be anytime soon: "4 months at least."

    What baffles me is that he never replied after I asked him if we would stay in touch or see each other again the following afternoon. He completely disappeared for months before due to his father's heart. He had quadruple bipass 10 years ago. It's been since March, and when I tried to send a message to check in, the read receipt said he was back home.

    My mom had me thinking there might be another woman. He did say it's been awhile when I came over last fall. My greatest concern is that even though he was all about me coming over a few weeks before this happened, why would he say "when and if" as opposed to "when?"

  2. #2
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    How much time have you actually spent together in person?

    I agree that he is not being honest with you, unfortunately.

  3. #3
    Bronze Member Camber 2019's Avatar
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    Originally Posted by mcmahan499
    I've been in a intimate relationship with this guy for 10 years. He's older at 51, and he lives out of state. We've always had this intense sexual chemistry...
    BIG. RED. FLAGS.

    He's older (he no longer gets sex from his wife, but does not want to leave her)
    He lives out of state (he is married and does not want you to find out about his wife, nor her about you)
    You have an intense sexual chemistry (Of course, that is all you have...)

  4. #4
    Platinum Member Wiseman2's Avatar
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    Listen to your mother. It sounds like he's married.
    Originally Posted by mcmahan499
    My mom had me thinking there might be another woman.

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  6. #5
    Platinum Member Clio's Avatar
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    He is probably married. You have wasted a DECADE on this dead end relationship. Why not seek someone in your own state?

  7. #6
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    He has a wife in Mexico. And maybe another one somewhere else. He already disappeared on you once; let him disappear for good this time.

  8. #7
    Platinum Member Rose Mosse's Avatar
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    How luxurious to disappear indefinitely to Mexico. This guy is not serious by any means so if you were developing any deeper feelings, don't. He may have sensed that you might be getting a little too serious and needs a break away from you. I wouldn't assume any marriage. Who wants to be married to a 51 year old who's never in one place for long? Maybe someone with ultra low standards or ideals in a marriage or someone of a different culture who has to subsist on meager attentions from a spouse? Either way, no deal. This guy is not a catch.

  9. #8
    Platinum Member LC8328's Avatar
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    Originally Posted by mcmahan499
    I've been in a intimate relationship with this guy for 10 years. He's older at 51, and he lives out of state. We've always had this intense sexual chemistry, even up until he told me something right before I was planning to come see him.

    Four days before, he said he had some bad news and said he was "called out" of the country" during the time I was "meant to come over." His father lives alone in Mexico, and he said he was in the hospital. Then, he said he would be there "indefinitely, " and that he would let me know "when and if I get back." He said it wouldn't be anytime soon: "4 months at least."

    What baffles me is that he never replied after I asked him if we would stay in touch or see each other again the following afternoon. He completely disappeared for months before due to his father's heart. He had quadruple bipass 10 years ago. It's been since March, and when I tried to send a message to check in, the read receipt said he was back home.

    My mom had me thinking there might be another woman. He did say it's been awhile when I came over last fall. My greatest concern is that even though he was all about me coming over a few weeks before this happened, why would he say "when and if" as opposed to "when?"
    I hate discouraging people. I really do. But in this case it would be a greater disservice if I didn't tell you how much I agree with the other responses you've got here.

    He's slimy, slippery, and more things that I can't say due to forum rules. No matter how you look at it, he is NOT the one for you. The sooner you move on with your life, the better.

  10. #9
    Platinum Member Wiseman2's Avatar
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    Maybe he replaced El Chapo and is doing time in a Mexican jail?
    Originally Posted by mcmahan499
    he said he had some bad news and said he was "called out" of the country" during the time I was "meant to come over." he said he would be there "indefinitely, " and that he would let me know "when and if I get back." He said it wouldn't be anytime soon: "4 months at least."

  11. #10
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    Why has this been good enough for you? Are you married and sleeping with him on the side?

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