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Bro32

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After 2 months of no-contact i decided to reach out. Everyone preaches no contact and i was foolish enough to break it thinking that it wouldn't be a big deal. The message I sent her was simple. "Hey!, how are you? I hope you're have a great summer so far." After sending it I felt a sense of relief but after a few hours of no response I felt even more confused than before. She never replied to my message but I realized that no response is a response. If you're reading this and are thinking about breaking no contact, don't do it! Move on. She's gone bro, She's gone!

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is there ever a right time to re add an ex on social media?

 

When you are so indifferent that seeing photos or posts of her and her new boyfriend won't affect you much.

 

Now is not the time. And if she hasn't replied to your message, she likely wouldn't accept a request to add you back on her social media either.

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Second time! The first time was for a closure meet up which went wrong like you guy's advised it would.

 

So what made you think this time would be a good idea?

 

Not trying to pour salt in the wound just... maybe if you recognize what thought process causes you to reach out to begin with you can stop it dead in its tracks next time, so I ask, what did you think would be different this time?

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Live and learn. I know it's hurtful. Be brave and soldier on.

 

I find that whenever people ignore me, as hurtful as it is, they're doing me a huge favor. It's an education. You learn a lot about human nature and when people ignore you, they're teaching you to move forward without them. You force yourself to be strong and tough.

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I have all my ex's on my social media! For now i think that it's best to keep her off!

 

Is it really necessary to keep them all on your social media? I'm not sure about you but it's a bit like putting notches on the wall to me. What's the point? Furthermore, not having her on your social media now means you have to break tradition and come back and try and reinstate tradition. Gotta have that ex there too, man - sort of deal. You've designed your life so that you mess up eventually... like now.

 

Let go. It'll feel good. Permanently.

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Nothing crappier than sitting waiting for that phone notification that never comes.

 

Start over, repeat until you get it right :)

This^^ Yeh don’t worry too much Bro* NC is so hard, sometimes to the point of trauma inducing...

 

Like you said, you felt that moment of relief....until reality set back in. And that’s how it goes.

 

You’re not the first to break NC and you sure won’t be the last.

 

We all break NC....until we don’t anymore.

 

Carus*

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Live and learn. I know it's hurtful. Be brave and soldier on.

 

I find that whenever people ignore me, as hurtful as it is, they're doing me a huge favor. It's an education. You learn a lot about human nature and when people ignore you, they're teaching you to move forward without them. You force yourself to be strong and tough.

 

I agree! I realized where I stand in her life! Not in it!

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This^^ Yeh don’t worry too much Bro* NC is so hard, sometimes to the point of trauma inducing...

 

Like you said, you felt that moment of relief....until reality set back in. And that’s how it goes.

 

You’re not the first to break NC and you sure won’t be the last.

 

We all break NC....until we don’t anymore.

 

Carus*

 

This has been one for the books!! Knowing that she doesn’t give a damn about me has made NC easier.

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Remind yourself of this the next time you're tempted to reach out to try to have a "genuine conversation" which is code for "seeing if she might want me back".

 

You’re so right! Same thing with the closure meet up! Deep down I wanted to see if she’d give me any signs of reconciliation but it wasn’t so! She has made it clear that she doesn’t want me around! Accepting that has been hard after so much time together! Life goes on!

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Did you initiate the break up? That's the only reason I can imagine someone not wanting to answer your text.

 

See... the issue with all this dating advice is that everyone is unique. Everyone responds to it differently and handles that "no contact" thing differently. I'm sure you read somewhere that she'd immediately come back to you if you decide to ignore her for two months, that isnt the case. She could've spent that time building herself up and moving on with her life.

 

You should never expect someone to wait on you and you should never participate in these mind games because everyone reacts differently to them.

 

So no... you shouldn't tell people not to break no contact, you should tell people to ditch no contact all together because it sounds like it failed you and while you were playing mind games for 2 months, she was moving on.

 

If you were thinking about her at anytime during those two months, you should've stepped out of your pride and contacted her.

 

To her it probably looked like you didn't care for 2 months and randomly got bored and decided to shoot her a text. That's a bad look and she's correct for ignoring you, I did the same when a guy did that to me.

 

A closed mouth doesn't get fed. You should never play games when it comes to people and their emotions.

 

 

EDIT: A key element of no contact is: making sure the person has actual deep feelings for you still before leaving and the manner of which you leave. If you're a jerk about it that will be her last memory of you and will make it EASY for her to leave you in the past. It's easy getting over someone when they leave you with negative feelings. A woman will start to see that she feels horrible when you're around and once you're gone, she will rid her life of those negative feelings and attach them to you/experiences with you. You become those negative feelings.

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No response isn't a response. I had an ex boyfriend do that to me last weekend and I ignored his messages because I didn't know what to think about him initiating contact. He actually went silent for two months like you and when he finally contacted me, I was indifferent about it. So much time had past that:

 

- I wasn't hurt about the break up

- I did miss him

- I was glad it was over

- I was upset it over

- I wanted a friendship but I also didn't want a friendship.

 

Just too many emotions and I decided to lighten the load and ditch the situation all together because he waited 2 months before talking to me, time had passed and I felt nothing for him at the end.

 

 

EDIT: If you want her attention you need to drop the pride you were unable to drop a few months ago. You need to apologize and let her know that you respect her space and decision but if anything changes she should let you know.

 

Sorry for the multiple posts but I'm going through something similar and I'm on the other side or the story, I'm the girl in this situation and this was my reasoning for ignoring messages from ex's.

 

I advise everyone to say away from that no contact. Especially men. You guys don't do it right and it almost never works for you. You guys always manage to miss one key part and then the whole situation explodes in your face. No contact is a delicate matter and if it's done incorrectly, you'll lose her forever: which is what it sounds like you did.

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No response isn't a response. I had an ex boyfriend do that to me last weekend and I ignored his messages because I didn't know what to think about him initiating contact. He actually went silent for two months like you and when he finally contacted me, I was indifferent about it. So much time had past that:

 

- I wasn't hurt about the break up

- I did miss him

- I was glad it was over

- I was upset it over

- I wanted a friendship but I also didn't want a friendship.

 

Just too many emotions and I decided to lighten the load and ditch the situation all together because he waited 2 months before talking to me, time had passed and I felt nothing for him at the end.

 

 

EDIT: If you want her attention you need to drop the pride you were unable to drop a few months ago. You need to apologize and let her know that you respect her space and decision but if anything changes she should let you know.

 

Sorry for the multiple posts but I'm going through something similar and I'm on the other side or the story, I'm the girl in this situation and this was my reasoning for ignoring messages from ex's.

 

I advise everyone to say away from that no contact. Especially men. You guys don't do it right and it almost never works for you. You guys always manage to miss one key part and then the whole situation explodes in your face. No contact is a delicate matter and if it's done incorrectly, you'll lose her forever: which is what it sounds like you did.

 

I wanted to reach out everyday but I didn’t! Her friends had all pretty much all told me to move on! No one gave me a chance with her!! She was cold and hurtful the last time we spoke! She described the new type of guy she wanted and basically called me fat & dumb! She also caught feelings for another guy before we broke up! This is why I waited!!

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