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Thread: Dumped for the 3th time, struggling to move on :(

  1. #21
    Platinum Member figureitout23's Avatar
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    Originally Posted by Carus
    No need to 'hate' her Pik* ~ Yes anger can be a tool to help us move on, but in the long run, forgiveness and nonchalance are better for your soul*

    Hate is like drinking poison and hoping the other person dies.

    It just didn't work out and that's how life is....For most of us on this planet....Just don't engage with her again*

    It'll just take some time s'all.....A football player doesn't break his leg and run back out on the field 2 days later*

    Same with a broken heart....Takes time to grieve....to heal.

    What are some other things you wanna do in life now...?

    Carus*
    Very well said.

    Hate isn’t the opposite of love, hate still has power over you, indifference is the goal, and it takes time, even more so with on again off again, like you said you’ve been on this roller coaster since 2015, it isn’t fun for you, but much like heroin stops being fun, she’s your drug of choice. Think about it, that constant fear, the jealousy the hurt and pain all attached to her, that’s not what a happy relationship is, you probably never fully trusted her. This relationship was never truly ideal, but somethings missing in you pikachu and it made you cling to a woman who from the start you had issues with... when you’re ready and you heal you will see this for what it is, so no you shouldn’t hate her, just recognize someone who could hurt you so many times couldn’t possibly be your soul mate.

  2. #22
    Platinum Member Rose Mosse's Avatar
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    You're dealing with very low self-esteem (lower than ever because of the number of times you got suckered into thinking any of it was real). She's being honest with you that she doesn't have what it takes to be in a relationship. I think it's time to focus more on that relationship you have with yourself and repair your trust in yourself (that you won't screw yourself over again with bad decisions).

    Whether or not she's seeking mental help is none of your business. You already know she needs help. Resist the urge to bandaid anyone. You have more repairing to do and healing to do with yourself than you realize. Until you can repair your sense of self and your self-esteem, you'll always get dragged over the coals. You'll always be vulnerable to personalities like this. You'll be vulnerable to strong emotions like hatred and resentment and before you know it, you'll hate yourself more than you already do now. So? Start moving in the other direction.

    Acknowledge your mistakes, practice more love not hate. Love means engaging with your world in a way that respects others and practices utmost respect for yourself, above all.

  3. #23
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    Originally Posted by Rose Mosse
    You're dealing with very low self-esteem (lower than ever because of the number of times you got suckered into thinking any of it was real). She's being honest with you that she doesn't have what it takes to be in a relationship. I think it's time to focus more on that relationship you have with yourself and repair your trust in yourself (that you won't screw yourself over again with bad decisions).

    Whether or not she's seeking mental help is none of your business. You already know she needs help. Resist the urge to bandaid anyone. You have more repairing to do and healing to do with yourself than you realize. Until you can repair your sense of self and your self-esteem, you'll always get dragged over the coals. You'll always be vulnerable to personalities like this. You'll be vulnerable to strong emotions like hatred and resentment and before you know it, you'll hate yourself more than you already do now. So? Start moving in the other direction.

    Acknowledge your mistakes, practice more love not hate. Love means engaging with your world in a way that respects others and practices utmost respect for yourself, above all.
    It’s true, she broke my selfworth and selfesteem to the bottum. Tonight there’s a party my friends will be attending and I kniw my ex will be there too. I decided to stay home and avoid seeing her. I just can’t handle it yet..

  4. #24
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    I just hate to think she is just having fun and doing fine while I’m here unhappy and stil thinking of her constantly

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  6. #25
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    Originally Posted by Pikachu
    I just hate to think she is just having fun and doing fine while I’m here unhappy and stil thinking of her constantly
    Why don't you want her to be happy?

  7. #26
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    Originally Posted by boltnrun
    Why don't you want her to be happy?
    Because she dumped me 3 times? Do you think you would be saying: “oh dear ex who dumped me 3 times, I hope you are happy”

  8. #27
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    Originally Posted by Pikachu
    Because she dumped me 3 times? Do you think you would be saying: “oh dear ex who dumped me 3 times, I hope you are happy”
    It keeps your focus on her instead of on moving past this bad experience. You went back to her for round two and round three and if you continue to wish her ill it's possible you are vulnerable for round four.

    Might not make sense now but it will once more time passes.

  9. #28
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    Originally Posted by boltnrun
    It keeps your focus on her instead of on moving past this bad experience. You went back to her for round two and round three and if you continue to wish her ill it's possible you are vulnerable for round four.

    Might not make sense now but it will once more time passes.
    You’re right.. I just need a way to shift my focus on me and not on her...

  10. #29
    Platinum Member figureitout23's Avatar
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    Originally Posted by Pikachu
    You’re right.. I just need a way to shift my focus on me and not on her...
    Yes you do.

    Do you have a game plan?

  11. #30
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    Actually not, I’m feeling quite depressed lately. I’m suffering from a serious soccer injury which has my sidelined
    For another 2 months minimum. Normally playing soccer with my friends helps me change my mind. I guess it can only get better from here on..

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