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Thread: Dumped for the 3th time, struggling to move on :(

  1. #111
    Platinum Member Carus's Avatar
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    Originally Posted by Pikachu
    Maybe with time, this feeling will fade away
    There's no 'maybe' about it my friend.....

    The memory will always be there but the feeling associated with it will change.....

    In the meantime you're just going to have to go through the motions...

    Good last post from No1....^^

    Carus*

  2. #112
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    I think itís because she was my best friend and I have had lotís of good moments too with hee. Thatís why I fear I wonít find someone ďas good as herĒ. When she came back I thought she was the best I could have..

  3. #113
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    Originally Posted by Pikachu
    I think itís because she was my best friend and I have had lotís of good moments too with hee. Thatís why I fear I wonít find someone ďas good as herĒ. When she came back I thought she was the best I could have..
    Lots of people feel this way after a break up. However, that doesn't make it true. In the immediate aftermath the whole world seems off kilter. In time it will reset. For now, grieve the loss of something that was precious to you but then work on your own healing.

    Hang in there.

  4. #114
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    3 months now since the 3rd breakup. Haven't heard from her, but will probably be seeing her at a funeral this weekend. Just gonna nod and say hi.

    I'm accepting the breakup and realize that 'the love of my life' won't treat me this way. She won't want me to miss important events of her life and vice versa. It's over and there are plenty of other girls.

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  6. #115
    Platinum Member figureitout23's Avatar
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    Very true P

  7. #116
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    Originally Posted by Pikachu
    I guess if she wants to sent me something she would always find a way.. Letter, email, through a friend.. Maybe I keep it unblocked for an egoboost, so in time I could be the one who turns her down..
    You don't win with people like her. I'm sure you've played it a thousand times in your head that she's going to get a hold of you and tell you what a mistake she made and that she wants to get back together with you, and you'll give her the middle finger, but it won't work out like that. You'll reluctantly give her another chance. Telling her how much she's hurt you and you'll be cautious this time. But it always ends back in the same place.

    I was where you once were. I went through 3 years of it and it's soul sucking madness. You won't be happy. You'll get little dopamine rushes when she reaches out to you. You'll get a high from it. You'll feel good. But like all highs, when things start going south and she starts being distant, you'll feel so low. In my case, I would always go NC. But I wouldn't block her much like you because secretly, I desperately wanted her to call me or text me. And she would. And we would reconcile. And then a day or two later she would start pulling away. But what made my situation so much worse is that I worked with her. Still do. It's been about 2 years since we've done anything, and I still have rough days because it's tough seeing her all the time, but I am much happier not having that worry in my life.

    I suggest you do the same. Because you have to face the facts. She's probably seeing other people. Block her. Social media, phone number, etc. She's likely not going to send you a letter, but if she does, just throw it away. Fight every urge in yourself to open it. Move on. Because she has. But she knows that when she feels vulnerable and needs an ego boost, she can always get a hold of you.

    Let it go. Go NC and remove any expectation from your brain.

  8. #117
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    Hi Blank State, I appreciate your post. Thanks a lot.

    I know that a 3rd or 4th round wonít be the solution.
    Last week I went on a date with another girl, sheís pretty and sweet but somewhere I just arenít ready for it. I still miss my ex and I sometimes wish she just called. I havenít heard from her since the breakup 3,5 months ago.

    I just wished It all went away, that I never met her. I keep trying to not think about her, to refocus my thoughts. But I still love her. Iím afraid I never stop

  9. #118
    Platinum Member Carus's Avatar
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    Originally Posted by Pikachu
    I keep trying to not think about her, to refocus my thoughts
    If I say donít think about elephants whatís the first thing that comes to mind?

    Sometimes, instead of saying I wonít think about them, it can better just to accept that yes you still think about them and yes you still miss them...and thatís ok.

    So long as youíre pushing on with building a good life for yourself then itís ok. Eventually the pain will lessen and time, life and the day to day will take over*

    Keep it moving Pik*

    Carus*

  10. #119
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    A mutual friend told me yesterday that she had sex the day after she dumped me. And already has a new relationship with the ex of a good friend of her. So I was sitting her, whining and feeling hurt while she had sex 24 hours later. My intuition was right and Iím glad I know this now. She has no values and was obviously not in love with me anymore. Good riddance. And yes, I now finally blocked her.

  11. #120
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    Originally Posted by Pikachu
    A mutual friend told me yesterday that she had sex the day after she dumped me. And already has a new relationship with the ex of a good friend of her. So I was sitting her, whining and feeling hurt while she had sex 24 hours later. My intuition was right and Iím glad I know this now. She has no values and was obviously not in love with me anymore. Good riddance. And yes, I now finally blocked her.
    Please ask this so-called mutual "friend" to stop feeding you information about your ex. Does this mutual "friend" dislike you or something? Why would they deliberately tell you things they know would hurt you?

    However...if this was the motivation you needed to finally realize this woman is wrong for you, then that's a good thing. Glad you have decided to stop waiting for her to contact you.

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