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Man that doesn't watch porn


Annmary

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Im really feeling like i cant find a decent man. Porn and sex chats have seemed to destroy my relationships.. Im just really wondering if the man who can love me the way i need is real. I want to grow my soul with someone who understands how i feel about this.

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I have a decent man and we both watch porn. Regardless of what you think about porn or what your definition of 'decent' is, I think it's usually best to start off on a neutral slate when finding someone new or a potential new partner. You may miss a lot of things in the process of dating and let a lot of good people slip you by if you haven't healed completely from your past. It sounds like you feel betrayed and deeply hurt by a previous relationship. Have you taken some time to process that?

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Yes there are men out there who do not watch porn, it’s all about finding your match.

 

There seems to be a slight twinge of baggage, maybe insecurity about the whole thing. You have every right to want to be with a man who does not watch porn just make sure your reasons are not part of a web of well unprocessed emotionsz Are you the jealous type? What is it about porn you don’t like? Not that you have to justify not liking porn, if you don’t, you don’t, what Im saying is, if your reasons are jealousy insecurity etc, the porn issue will just morph into another one... female friends, flirty coworkers etc etc, make sure you’re healthy mentally, emotionally, you will find him a lot easy if you are. Remember dating isn’t a need or right, it’s not air or water, you can take a break to process if need be.

 

Good luck!

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My husband is a great guy who hasn't watched porn and neither have I. There are plenty of men similar to my husband. You just have to know where to find them. They're not at singles bars. Go where all the high quality men are. They are extremely busy with their fast track such as education, careers, have strong family bonds, wish to share their values with a great lady in their life and they're out there. Whittle down your search.

 

My single friends found their husbands by joining lots of groups whether at church, community volunteerism, work related recreational clubs, sports (example: running club), through class or course enrollment, hobby enrichment, friends, acquaintance and family introductions. Sometimes there are mutual people who know both you and him. They've done their homework for you and can tell you what they know about the man before you date him.

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What about just saying upfront that it's a deal breaker for you? You'll get an honest response from a decent guy, and most likely he'd be able to set it aside for the relationship. I am a girl who likes and watches porn occasionally - I am a decent woman, and my husband knows I do this - it does not hinder our marriage or our sex life. However, if he said to me that it was a deal breaker, I'd cut it out completely. There's a difference between enjoying some sexual exploration and having an addiction to it.

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Find a man that has a strong hobby. My old man isn't into porn, he is into cars, and car culture...he spends most of his time watching drag racing, car build videos, and works on his projects. My yard has too many projects but I don't care, it keeps him busy and happy.

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You are not alone, a lot of women don't like their men watching porn, which is looking at other women. It can feel like cheating.

 

Many of the guys think that's since it's legal, that means it's okay. But many women don't see it that way.

 

All you can do is find a man who does not watch other women or one who will give it up for you. You only need to find one good man.

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Be sure to add your aversion to men who watchporn in your dating profile(s) so that you want waste your time meeting anyone who's into porn.

 

Dating is about screening people out in order to move onto finding a GOOD match rather than trying to change anyone who responds. So make your profile clear enough and be clear enough when you first meet people about your dealbreakers. Then you won't get into the wrong relationships in the first place with people who ARE dealbreakers.

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Be sure to add your aversion to men who watch porn in your dating profile(s) so that you want waste your time meeting anyone who's into porn.

 

Dating is about screening people out in order to move onto finding a GOOD match rather than trying to change anyone who responds. So make your profile clear enough and be clear enough when you first meet people about your dealbreakers. Then you won't get into the wrong relationships in the first place with people who ARE dealbreakers.

 

Absolutely... while many people do watch porn as a "means to an end" (myself included), it doesn't mean that you need to set aside your own values around it nor does it mean you need to accept it in your partner, if it's a deal breaker for you, and makes you uncomfortable.

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You are not alone, a lot of women don't like their men watching porn, which is looking at other women. It can feel like cheating.

 

Many of the guys think that's since it's legal, that means it's okay. But many women don't see it that way.

 

All you can do is find a man who does not watch other women or one who will give it up for you. You only need to find one good man.

 

 

I only consider it cheating if the other person has the ability to respond to the looker, observer, gawker etc, but I do think it's pretty juvenile for a grown man to waste his time obsessing over women he will never have or even meet. Especially when he has as all of my men have said " a real woman to do what they're doing in porn, without all the fakery!!"

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I only consider it cheating if the other person has the ability to respond to the looker, observer, gawker etc, but I do think it's pretty juvenile for a grown man to waste his time obsessing over women he will never have or even meet. Especially when he has as all of my men have said " a real woman to do what they're doing in porn, without all the fakery!!"

 

And that’s fine, there are plenty of people men and women who think people adamantly against porn because of insecurity are juvenile, myself included. I think a grown woman with a healthy sense of self should recognize that sometimes men and women want that release and porn helps.

 

It is what it is. What I think isn’t fact, it’s opinion.

 

No need to sell us, believe me, we’re all adults here and we all have fully formed opinions about pornography, either we like it or we don’t, different strokes for different folks, what you’re doing, it’s deeper, and right now you’re venting to feel more secure. You're treating the symptom, so you’re going in circles.

 

Are you going to tell us what’s led to this question or....

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And that’s fine, there are plenty of people men and women who think people adamantly against porn because of insecurity are juvenile, myself included. I think a grown woman with a healthy sense of self should recognize that sometimes men and women want that release and porn helps.

 

 

I agree with you on this, and am just trying to find out why the original poster is so turned off or insecure about her man and porn.

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  • 3 weeks later...

Guys who don't watch porn are lying about the fact that they watch porn. :D Most (straight) guys enjoy watching beautiful women have sex, and given how readily it is available on the internet, they have all at least dabbled. Having hobbies, being busy with his career, whatever, does not remove the fact that if he was alone, feeling horny, he might just relax and have some fun solo. And there is nothing wrong with it, if you find it unacceptable, then tell him so and he will do his best to keep it out of sight of you.

 

There is a difference between a guy who watches porn occasionally when lonely or whatever, and someone who uses porn like a dopamine button just to feel good. In the latter case it can be like a drug addiction and severely impact his actual sexual appetite and performance, because he will be the sort who dives into ever more hardcore and extreme content to experience a bigger hit, and real sex with real women will begin to feel ever more boring.

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