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Thread: Sometimes I wonder if my bf is gay...

  1. #11
    Gold Member Gary Snyder's Avatar
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    Oh my gosh he sounds like the perfect man!

    I wish I was more into fashion - and I need more shoes!

    Seriously, his relationship with his friend might mean he's bi. As long as he is sane, has integrity, and loves you he'll be monogamous.

  2. #12
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    Originally Posted by LuvsLuv
    The sleeping and showering is definitely CRAZY, but since he is trying to emulate Black R&B culture, Black men are more into fashion, grooming, wanting to look good, and wanting their women to look good too - sometimes shopping for and picking out their clothes. A friend of mine dated a Black Guy, and he was like that, even sometimes wearing some bright colors that White guys wouldn't be caught dead in.

    Their relationship didn't last because she was more of a Jeans/Shorts and T-Shirts kind of girl, and he felt her look was not something he wanted to be seen with her in. He even went as far to say "Shorts are for children, not for grown women who want to look sexy" He said this to her when she confronted him after he stopped taking her out in public.
    So it comes down to whether she wants to get serious with an adult who would do all this including being comfortable with his friend also complimenting his penis in order to try to be someone he is not and toss aside who he really is to be "cool" if what you say is accurate. Sounds like it could be a phase and I wouldn't take a chance on that.

  3. #13
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    Originally Posted by Batya33
    So it comes down to whether she wants to get serious with an adult who would do all this including being comfortable with his friend also complimenting his penis in order to try to be someone he is not and toss aside who he really is to be "cool" if what you say is accurate. Sounds like it could be a phase and I wouldn't take a chance on that.
    Yes, I think so. I love fashion and looking good, so a man that was into that too or helped me shop wouldn't bother me. However, all the other things especially the penis and beds situation with his friend would be enough to SEND ME RUNNING FOR THE HILLS!!!

    One of my girlfriends ex-husband had a teenage son from his first marriage who live out of state. Once his son came to visit and stay with them for spring break, and he brought one of his buddies with him., who he proceeded to shower and sleep with. The father swore up and down that the boys weren't gay, but had been doing this since they were little. My girlfriend almost lost it and wanted to put all three of them out of the house that week.

  4. #14
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    Thanks guys! I know all that stuff about fashion and wearing pink is stereotyping and I realized it after typing out my thoughts. But it does illustrate how different he is since you cant deny that most guys have no interest in this stuff. I know the thing with his friend is pretty alarming but I was trying to keep an open mind because they've been close friends for so long, you dont want to mess with that if you care about someone. Also, it seems like the friend is more needy towards my bf than the other way around, so it could be that he's into my bf as more than a friend but its not mutual?

    The girl that the friend was with most recently, they broke up because he wasn't interested in sex with her, but really cared for her as a person... now Im seeing this situation in a different light :/

    Yes we do live in different countries but we're not carrying out a "cyber relationship" as we met and spent a good amount of time together in real life before starting an exclusive relationship, as well as after. Aaand Its really not easy to pretend to be someone else when you're with them every day for months on end I think. Trust me, I've tried being my best most loveable self but its pretty much impossible for that long.

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  6. #15
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    Originally Posted by blitzkrieged
    I know the thing with his friend is pretty alarming but I was trying to keep an open mind because they've been close friends for so long, you dont want to mess with that if you care about someone. A
    When choosing someone who will be the one closest to you, be as picky as possible. Be discerning.

  7. #16
    Platinum Member Wiseman2's Avatar
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    Anyone can live a double life, including affairs, and all sorts of secrets. It can happen for years even with married people. Why can't you date locally and just be friends with this guy if you question his integrity, honesty and sexuality?
    Originally Posted by blitzkrieged
    Yes we do live in different countries but we're not carrying out a "cyber relationship" as we met and spent a good amount of time together in real life before starting an exclusive relationship, as well as after. Its really not easy to pretend to be someone else when you're with them every day for months on end I think.

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