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Thread: Dating an Older Widow Co-Worker

  1. #11
    Platinum Member reinventmyself's Avatar
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    Originally Posted by Jsanga1980
    She does not like being alone, that is why we moved forward with the relationship.
    Dating out of fear of being alone is not a good way to start a relationship. It suggests she's not in a good place and not able to make good decisions.

    She just lost her husband. It's not so much she doesn't like being alone. She has suffered a massive loss and she's trying to fill the void with you. That's why her kids don't approve. She's grieving and needs a friend. Not a date.

  2. #12
    Gold Member Gary Snyder's Avatar
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    Although a lot of people don't like the idea, her children included - she should be dating as quickly as possible - it's good therapy for her.

  3. #13
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    Originally Posted by Gary Snyder
    Although a lot of people don't like the idea, her children included - she should be dating as quickly as possible - it's good therapy for her.
    Are you for real???? Your thinking is warped (sorry). They should both have some respect for the fact that she so recently lost her husband. She needs the comfort of friends and family, not to be dating.

  4. #14
    Bronze Member Camber 2019's Avatar
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    Originally Posted by Gary Snyder
    Although a lot of people don't like the idea, her children included - she should be dating as quickly as possible - it's good therapy for her.
    Gotta respectfully disagree with you on this one Gary S....

    This is WAY too soon to start dating. She needs to morn, and re-discover who she is now that her partner is no longer in her life. Same for divorce or breaking up. One needs to get to know themselves and be comfortable with what life is like without leaning on anyone else...

    Very, very, very important!

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  6. #15
    Platinum Member Rose Mosse's Avatar
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    I'm not sure what her state of mind is as different people react to loss differently. We also don't know the terms or nature of their marriage or relationship in detail.

    Just because they were legally married or living in a marriage doesn't necessarily mean that they were connected in mind and soul. We may want to tread carefully on the implication that she's rendered incapable of making her own decisions as an autonomous person. It may be her very wish to meet new people and encourage new growth in her life.

    For the OP's sake, I think he might just benefit from putting things in perspective and realize that his level of involvement with the family (especially the children) as a whole may be limited due to any amount of lingering grief in a group of individuals (more than one person). I'd remain a family friend and resist the urge to be too confrontational about any tensions and disagreements. If this isn't what you signed up for or thought it would be, OP, you are free to leave. If you really are looking to earn the trust of the family (not just the woman you are dating), dial it back a little and let them find their way after what has happened.

  7. #16
    Platinum Member catfeeder's Avatar
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    Originally Posted by Jsanga1980
    I need some help and advice!
    What, specifically, do you need help and advice about?

  8. #17
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    Originally Posted by Camber 2019
    Gotta respectfully disagree with you on this one Gary S....

    This is WAY too soon to start dating. She needs to morn, and re-discover who she is now that her partner is no longer in her life. Same for divorce or breaking up. One needs to get to know themselves and be comfortable with what life is like without leaning on anyone else...

    Very, very, very important!
    agree- going out with friends YES. romance, no

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