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Thread: Did I Ruin Everything By Blowing Up His Phone After We Had Sex?

  1. #11
    Member ThatGirlTayl's Avatar
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    Originally Posted by melancholy123
    I think he used you for sex and then you went overboard texting him too many times, and you made him mad. Back off and see what happens.
    What makes you say he just used me for sex?

  2. #12
    Member ThatGirlTayl's Avatar
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    Originally Posted by Rose Mosse
    It's anyone's guess what's going on on his end so it won't help you to speculate. I'd take a look at the things you do know: he was a bit rude/short with you, he hasn't responded to you since and there's no understanding between either of you to begin with other than one night together (no consistency).

    I'd take a step back and have a good pep talk with yourself if this is really how you see yourself living your life going forward. Do you really want to wait around for someone to make you feel better and then hurt you? Are you ok with the hot/cold?
    No, I'm not okay with hot/cold. It's really hurtful of him to be all sweet and nice one minute and then yell at me the next. I know I was being immature, but I was scared that he was just going to disappear.

  3. #13
    Member ThatGirlTayl's Avatar
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    Originally Posted by melancholy123
    I think he used you for sex and then you went overboard texting him too many times, and you made him mad. Back off and see what happens.
    And why did he say "I love you" along with the pillow talk? I don't understand.

  4. #14
    Platinum Member ThatwasThen's Avatar
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    Originally Posted by ThatGirlTayl
    Robbery. We did discuss getting back together again. We wrote out reconciliation letters together, and at the end of the night he promised me we would see eachother again and that this isn't the end. So, I'm just really confused.
    My dear girl... he is NOT someone you should want to get back with no matter how WONDERFUL the sex was with him that night. He is trouble and you being so obsessed with him says a lot about your lack of love of self. He may go to jail for goodness sakes (Odds are if not this time, then sometime)
    then where will you be?

    I really think you should think about getting yourself into therapy to help you with your self-worth. When you have good self-esteem and confidence in knowing that if you're not with him, then some day you will find someone much better as a life partner, you would never want a hood in your life the way you want him.

    Girl: What are you doing?

    Originally Posted by ThatGirlTayl
    And why did he say "I love you" along with the pillow talk? I don't understand.
    Because a-holes like him know exactly what to say to women that don't have good self-worth or confidence.

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  6. #15
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    If I had to guess, I'd say his silence has more to do with his own circumstances and what he's going through right now, than your text messages.

    He's dealing with a court hearing for allegations of robbery, which can't be easy.

    You didn't ruin anything. It just doesn't sound like he is able to give you what you're looking for right now because he's in the midst of trying to find his own way (and out of a mess).

    And I obviously don't know the circumstances of his criminal charges, including whether he's guilty/innocent (or pleading guilt or innocence), so I'm not here to make assumptions about him. But, aren't these criminal charges concerning to you? Because I'll admit, I couldn't be with someone who was charged with robbery. Clearly there was enough evidence there for the police to charge him (which I know does NOT automatically make someone guilty), but speaking for myself, someone being charged with robbery would completely diminish any trust I had in them or attraction towards them.

  7. #16
    Member ThatGirlTayl's Avatar
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    Originally Posted by milly007
    If I had to guess, I'd say his silence has more to do with his own circumstances and what he's going through right now, than your text messages.

    He's dealing with a court hearing for allegations of robbery, which can't be easy.

    You didn't ruin anything. It just doesn't sound like he is able to give you what you're looking for right now because he's in the midst of trying to find his own way (and out of a mess).

    And I obviously don't know the circumstances of his criminal charges, including whether he's guilty/innocent (or pleading guilt or innocence), so I'm not here to make assumptions about him. But, aren't these criminal charges concerning to you? Because I'll admit, I couldn't be with someone who was charged with robbery. Clearly there was enough evidence there for the police to charge him (which I know does NOT automatically make someone guilty), but speaking for myself, someone being charged with robbery would completely diminish any trust I had in them or attraction towards them.
    This last hearing was a change in plea to guilty hearing. So the sentencing hearing is in 90 days. It's true that he is going through a lot. I just think I scared him away, but he did say "I love you." After chewing me out for bugging the out of him. I don't know. I guess I should give him some space. I know that what he did was wrong, but it was a mistake and he knows it. He told me how sorry he was and how he doesn't blame anyone else besides himself.

  8. #17
    Platinum Member Rose Mosse's Avatar
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    Originally Posted by ThatGirlTayl
    No, I'm not okay with hot/cold. It's really hurtful of him to be all sweet and nice one minute and then yell at me the next. I know I was being immature, but I was scared that he was just going to disappear.
    And he has (disappeared). He's done that thing that you didn't want. The problem is that he's tricked you into thinking it's your fault. If it is, you really don't need someone so fragile. It takes balls to be in a relationship and to be honest, consistent and reliable. He's ...just not. If what you're looking for is someone more mature and who is able to check in with you reliably, this person isn't it. If it's your chemistry, take it as a sign that it's not meant to be. You don't need to go down a darker path wondering just how dark and terrible a person he is. He's shown you enough: that he's not enough to be with you.

    Let go of the hurt, build your self-esteem and surround yourself with better company.

  9. #18
    Super Moderator HeartGoesOn's Avatar
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    Originally Posted by ThatGirlTayl
    And why did he say "I love you" along with the pillow talk? I don't understand.
    He'll tell you that black is white, and will further prove it in order to get you between the sheets. Words are meaningless without being followed up with actions.

    Why not take the high road, and walk away with your self-respect intact?

  10. #19
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    Originally Posted by ThatGirlTayl
    This last hearing was a change in plea to guilty hearing. So the sentencing hearing is in 90 days. It's true that he is going through a lot. I just think I scared him away, but he did say "I love you." After chewing me out for bugging the out of him. I don't know. I guess I should give him some space. I know that what he did was wrong, but it was a mistake and he knows it. He told me how sorry he was and how he doesn't blame anyone else besides himself.
    Your messages may have overwhelmed him, due to everything else that he has on his plate right now, but I still think his silence has a lot more do to with his hearing than anything else, including you and your messages.

    Plus, he's entered a guilty plea, so really his future and freedom are up in the air right now because I think it can be safely assumed that he's concerned about sentencing, and potentially the repercussions of the sentence once he "pays his dues". That's a lot.

    I do want to note, though, that I'm glad to hear he's holding himself accountable and taking responsibility for his actions.

    Honestly, ThatGirl, it's clear that you care about this guy, but whatever is happening between you two is causing you more grief than good, and I'm guessing it will only get worse depending on the outcome of the sentencing hearing.

    Do you really want to continue subjecting yourself to this situation? To him?

    I'm going to sound a bit bossy right now (and maybe even bit#%y), but if you were a friend of mine, there's no way in heck I'd be supportive of a relationship like this. The world can toss us enough curveballs in life, but why would you voluntarily subject yourself to a situation that only causes you grief and anxiety if you can choose to walk away.

    I know you care about this guy, and walking away will be hard, but in the long-term, I guessing you'll be thanking your lucky stars...

  11. #20
    Platinum Member Rose Mosse's Avatar
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    Originally Posted by ThatGirlTayl
    This last hearing was a change in plea to guilty hearing. So the sentencing hearing is in 90 days. It's true that he is going through a lot. I just think I scared him away, but he did say "I love you." After chewing me out for bugging the out of him. I don't know. I guess I should give him some space. I know that what he did was wrong, but it was a mistake and he knows it. He told me how sorry he was and how he doesn't blame anyone else besides himself.
    We responded at the same time so I didn't see your update here. I think both of you aren't good for each other as it is and it'll take time and a fresh start to make anything work here. It might work if either of you were more mindful or respectful of each other but it just hasn't worked out that way. He shouldn't have hit you up before his hearing (he's dealing with a lot) or led you on and you shouldn't have thought too much about it. There's misunderstandings on top of misjudgments.

    Cool it for awhile with this guy and see where you are at later on after the dust settles. Try being a bit more thoughtful and cautious about your interactions with this person and see how things pan out if you really care for one another.

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