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Thread: My gf is getting revenge by sarcastically copycatting excuses Iíve made

  1. #1
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    My gf is getting revenge by sarcastically copycatting excuses Iíve made

    Today I (23M) had a really bad fight with my alleged girlfriend (21). I say it was bad because she yelled at me, hit me, insulted me, and belittled me in public. I was deadpan and non-reactive.

    The fight was over me spending 30 minutes in the restroom while she sat at a table to order food at a restaurant.

    I was in the bathroom to get away from her because she randomly snapped at me while we were supposed to be having a good time.

    She claimed that she was joking, but when she snapped I took a full 5 seconds to read the expression on her face in disbelief. She was clearly not joking.

    However, when I mention this she says, ďwell, you expect me to believe you when you say youíre joking, so you should believe me.Ē

    Hereís the thing: The other day she randomly brought up how anime makes her angry so I jokingly said, ďwho are you to not like anime? I like anime and Iím wayyyy cooler than you.Ē

    She took great offense to this and refused to accept that I wasnít serious. She stated ďto me that was not a joke.Ē

    Ok, to HER, itís not a joke. She didnít think it was funny.

    But now sheís using that situation to be the biggest in the world then claim sheís joking.

    BUT... she actually does this all of the time. Whenever I feel that she has wronged me in some way, I somehow magically misunderstood her and she was just kidding. She has done this from the beginning of our friendship.

    When I stated this, she then copycatted something else I said earlier, ďstop bringing up the past!Ē

    I had said this earlier because she threw a fit that she usually has to wait 5-10 minutes for me to get ready to leave. Today I was ready but gravity was just not on my side and a glass bottle of toner broke and got all over my clothes. I had to clean up the mess.

    She refused to believe that anything broke, and when I showed her the evidence, she then switched to complaining about me not being ready immediately on days prior. I, of course, told her that I didnít want to talk about the days prior because today I made an effort to be ready when she was.

    I feel like sheís trying to get revenge on me for diffusing arguments. I feel like itís ridiculous especially when she has a history of doing and saying blatantly disrespectful things and then accusing me of misunderstanding or taking her too seriously.

    Is this relationship doomed? I feel like she doesnít really like me and is just with me because she has a strong emotional attachment to me. She even said she wishes she could be done with me.

    If the tables were turned, Iíd probably be in jail for this behavior.

    Edit: I forgot to mention that when I finally came out of the bathroom she accused me of cheating. Smh!
    Last edited by Throwaway114; 08-06-2019 at 07:05 AM. Reason: Sex and ages added

  2. #2
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    Does this person leave you feeling loved and supported?

  3. #3
    Forum Supporter ~Seraphim ~'s Avatar
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    When there is violence it is time to walk, permanently.

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    You're insane for staying.

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    Originally Posted by 1a1a
    Does this person leave you feeling loved and supported?
    Loved? Yea I guess I feel like she loves me but do I feel supported? Financially, yea. She buys me food and alcohol when I donít have money. But she never believes I can be successful at my job. Even when I have great successes, she insists that Iím somehow getting scammed.

    Iím a salesman. I sell high-price marketing services and she says I should just get a normal job. Even when I get $5,000 deposited into my account, she says I should get a normal job. I donít understand why.

    And then when I go a while without making a sale, sheíll belittle me and say Iím making ďZERO DOLLARSĒ when we have an argument.

    I honestly donít want to spend as much time with her as I have. Iíd rather go hungry for a week while trying to make a sale in her absence rather than have her around trying to get me to believe Iím going to fail.

  7. #6
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    Originally Posted by Throwaway114
    Loved? Yea I guess I feel like she loves me but do I feel supported? Financially, yea. She buys me food and alcohol when I donít have money. But she never believes I can be successful at my job. Even when I have great successes, she insists that Iím somehow getting scammed.

    Iím a salesman. I sell high-price marketing services and she says I should just get a normal job. Even when I get $5,000 deposited into my account, she says I should get a normal job. I donít understand why.

    And then when I go a while without making a sale, sheíll belittle me and say Iím making ďZERO DOLLARSĒ when we have an argument.

    I honestly donít want to spend as much time with her as I have. Iíd rather go hungry for a week while trying to make a sale in her absence rather than have her around trying to get me to believe Iím going to fail.
    And yet you want to stay for more of this treatment?

    Is it because you "LOVE her!!!!!"?

  8. #7
    Forum Supporter ~Seraphim ~'s Avatar
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    Hitting is never love.

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    Platinum Member DancingFool's Avatar
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    Man or woman, the moment they raise their hand against you, you kick them out of your life with extreme prejudice.
    From all you've written, sounds like she is mentally and emotionally abusive as well.

    Run, just run. This is not love, not a relationship, it's a nightmare.

  10. #9
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    Originally Posted by ~Seraphim ~
    When there is violence it is time to walk, permanently.
    Originally Posted by ~Seraphim ~
    Hitting is never love.
    Originally Posted by DancingFool
    Man or woman, the moment they raise their hand against you, you kick them out of your life with extreme prejudice.
    From all you've written, sounds like she is mentally and emotionally abusive as well.

    Run, just run. This is not love, not a relationship, it's a nightmare.
    What I donít understand is when she hits me in public, no one cares. Iíll try to avoid her or stand with a barrier between us and she yells ďSTOP PRETENDING YOUíRE SO AFRAID OF ME! REMEMBER THAT TIME YOU RAISED YOUR HAND LIKE YOU WERE GONNA HIT ME?!Ē Like sheís trying to make me seem like a woman beater in front of all of these people.

    Did I ever raise my hand like I was going to hit her? Yes, but I was playing around. I admit I didnít have a smile on my face but I just feinted a backhand slap at her. I didnít say anything behind it, I wasnít rude, didnít swear/cuss. I just made the gesture and went about my business.

    Whatís worse is Iím visiting her in her own country (Scandanavia) and Iím one of the only men in this city of African descent and I have bleached hair. Although I have no tattoos and buy all of my clothes at Express and Banana Republic, I just happen to dress like a rapper. So itís completely within the realm of possibility that people would think Iím an abuser.

    To be honest, I feel this is the worst part.

    There have been times that Iíve been trying to get her to cheer up while sheís being pouty and some random man or security will come up and ask her (in their language) if everything is ok. Like theyíre assuming Iím harassing her or something. She even has commented on this.

    So I feel sheís trying to signal to everyone that Iím an abusive black man whoís pretending to be the good guy because weíre in public, so everyone should just be on her side and watch her abuse me.
    Last edited by Throwaway114; 08-06-2019 at 10:30 AM. Reason: Profanity

  11. #10
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    It doesnít matter why she is nuts just walk away and build YOUR support network.

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