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Thread: Getting TOO MUCH Attention for Him!!

  1. #11
    Platinum Member DancingFool's Avatar
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    What I'm getting from your post is that you both might be physically attractive, but internally, you are both incredibly insecure and immature. So where does that leave you? He is an angry, jealous, resentful, control freak and you are willing to put up with that because he compliments you and tells you that you are the prettiest, most stunning girl ever. How do you stop this madness? Step out of it and raise your standards and work on your confidence. Outer attractiveness is just not enough when the inside is an ugly mess and in this man's case....ugly is an understatement. Dude is acting with the emotional maturity of a teenager.

  2. #12
    Platinum Member Wiseman2's Avatar
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    As long as you are competing with other women and are this overly concerned with your looks, a jerk like him can manipulate you with flattery. Try to feel more secure and not play mirror mirror. It will be your downfall.
    Originally Posted by LuvsLuv
    he says "they're were attractive, but not as glamorous as you", so he never had any issues when they went out anywhere.

  3. #13
    Platinum Member Rose Mosse's Avatar
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    Originally Posted by LuvsLuv
    We both love and enjoy the same kind of live music and entertainment, so it's not about being seen, but GOING TO SEE - just like everyone else. I don't think we should be seeking VIP treatment that would seclude us from other people just because he can't deal with it. What really bothers me is that to me he's the only one in the room when we're together because I am so into him, I don't even see or acknowledge other men who are around. He even went as far as to say that "Mike must have scoped you out in the parking lot on the way into the Cigar Bar!" ABSOLUTELY OUTRAGEOUS....
    I'd say focus less on his awkward moments and move on if you find him unsavoury. It's as simple as that. Don't get worked up over his reaction. You cannot control someone else's reaction to you when you haven't done anything wrong. If you feel guilty for something or feel like you contributed to the situation, you may be feeling annoyed with yourself. Otherwise, relax and just laugh it off. This is too small to worry about.

    It seems he was the one to bring up the issue and he was upset with you. It's up to either of you whether you want to work it out but I really don't think you're cut out for each other if you're both going to remain upset over these minor issues, get too worked up or overthink it. I'm sure you have a thousand and one other things to worry about aside from a man who can't accept you for you. This would be the last thing I would worry about. You can either accept each others personalities or you can step away from each other.

  4. #14
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    Originally Posted by Rose Mosse
    I'd say focus less on his awkward moments and move on if you find him unsavoury. It's as simple as that. Don't get worked up over his reaction. You cannot control someone else's reaction to you when you haven't done anything wrong. If you feel guilty for something or feel like you contributed to the situation, you may be feeling annoyed with yourself. Otherwise, relax and just laugh it off. This is too small to worry about.

    It seems he was the one to bring up the issue and he was upset with you. It's up to either of you whether you want to work it out but I really don't think you're cut out for each other if you're both going to remain upset over these minor issues, get too worked up or overthink it. I'm sure you have a thousand and one other things to worry about aside from a man who can't accept you for you. This would be the last thing I would worry about. You can either accept each others personalities or you can step away from each other.
    I totally agree with you, he needs to laugh it off. This same thing with strange men approaching me out of nowhere happens also when I go out with my girlfriends and even my mother. They all find it entertaining and we laugh about it for the rest of the day or night as NO BIG DEAL and PART OF THE ENTERTAINMENT FOR HANGING OUT WITH ME. My mother has even told him exactly that.

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  6. #15
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    Originally Posted by Wiseman2
    As long as you are competing with other women and are this overly concerned with your looks, a jerk like him can manipulate you with flattery. Try to feel more secure and not play mirror mirror. It will be your downfall.
    I'm not trying to compete with anyone, I'm just being me. As you will see from a previous post, this happens to me whether I am alone, with girlfriends, my mother, and now HIM.

  7. #16
    Platinum Member Rose Mosse's Avatar
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    LL, I don't feel like you're laughing with the capslock though. You seem upset. It's ok to be upset. Just don't dwell on it. If it happens all the time to you why are you so surprised if some people don't know how to handle it? Lots of people get checked out and lots more do the checking out. I compliment women too when I go out. What he does shouldn't matter so much to you but it does. Time to let it go. You'll be fine with or without him.

  8. #17
    Platinum Member ThatwasThen's Avatar
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    Originally Posted by SherrySher
    YOU need to stop the madness...how do you do that? You tell these strange men that come up to you, that you are with your boyfriend and don't appreciate these intrusions since you are trying to have a night out with him.

    Yes, it's not your fault what random strangers do, but you can help how you react and how you deal with it.

    It is bothering your boyfriend and to some degree it is emasculating him. After all, these men are coming over not giving a care that he's right there.
    Your boyfriend is gentlemanly enough to not start a fight with these men, so the best thing you can do is tell these men in a nice but no fooling around way...to buzz off.

    It's not difficult, just let them know that their attentions are not wanted.
    I agree with this. Op: Why don't you shut these guys down? Perhaps if you did that your boyfriend wouldn't be so irked about these "intrusions?"
    Originally Posted by LuvsLuv
    I totally agree with you, he needs to laugh it off. This same thing with strange men approaching me out of nowhere happens also when I go out with my girlfriends and even my mother. They all find it entertaining and we laugh about it for the rest of the day or night as NO BIG DEAL and PART OF THE ENTERTAINMENT FOR HANGING OUT WITH ME. My mother has even told him exactly that.
    So he NEEDS to laugh it off while you do nothing to reassure him that you are not basking in the limelight of other men's attention? You shouldn't have to have boundaries with how other men approach in on you and your boyfriends time? You needn't worry about how these intrusions make your boyfriend feel?

    *Looks in Crystal Ball* I see him breaking up with you over your lack of empathy.

    Asking: How would you feel if beautiful women were coming up to him and engaging him while ignoring the fact that you are with him?

  9. #18
    Platinum Member Wiseman2's Avatar
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    Unfortunately it may be a case of this:
    Originally Posted by LuvsLuv
    He's tall, dark, and handsome, but also a sensitive, loving, and a really good man.

    I am tall, hourglass shaped size 4-6, dress nicely from head to toe, and have a great outgoing and friendly personality

  10. #19
    Platinum Member reinventmyself's Avatar
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    I originally didn't add to this because the wording made me a little uncomfortable.

    I've had my share of attention in my lifetime (i'm a little older now) and yet I am capable of discouraging it.
    Maybe too much sometimes. It has to do with how you handle yourself.

    My friends are equally or even more attractive and at the same time they don't permit men to pester them, much like you described. Let alone while on a date. At the same time I have other friends that are approached, but it's something they did to encourage it.

    I am not there and I can't say for sure, but there is something, outside of your size 4, hourglass figure that is giving these men the green light to approach you. Typically men are intimated by stunning women, not the opposite.

    Just the words used to describe the packaging causes my spidey senses go off here.
    I don't think I'd blame your guy for being uncomfortable.
    Because I get the sense there is something you do, whether conscious or not that attracts attention.

    The fact that he continues to bring it up makes him insecure.

  11. #20
    Platinum Member ThatwasThen's Avatar
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    ^ I agree with most of that ^^^

    I will say though: Most people would be insecure when their partner is broadcasting that she is getting approached whie out with her g/f's/buddies and her/his mother as well while knowing through experience that he/she does nothing to shut down the attention of the opposite sex. You can't trust someone that shows they have little to no boundaries when it comes to this sort of thing.

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