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Thread: Worst First Time Lesbian Sexual Experience Ever

  1. #1

    Worst First Time Lesbian Sexual Experience Ever

    This is really embarrassing, I don't even feel comfortable talking to my friends about this. So I have just started these past couple months exploring my bicurious side. I have been my whole life, but due to my upbringing, being gay was never an option. So, it's taken a while for me to accept this possibility. I met a girl on an app, and we had a decent connection, we made out on the first date and it was by far the best makeout session I have ever had. It turned out though, she only wanted a friends with benefits relationship. At first I wasn't very accepting of this and was a little heart broken, but I eventually decided that I did want to have this physical experience, even if it meant no future relationship.
    So we decided to have sex, and everything was going great until it was my turn to go down on her. It was dark, I couldn't see anything, so I couldn't tell if I was in the right area or not. I apparently wasn't, she started laughing, and when I asked for some direction, she didn't say anything. She obviously wasn't enjoying it, so I came up and tried fingering her, and apparently I still wasn't pleasing her...I didn't expect this. I thought I knew the female anatomy well enough, from, you know, practicing on myself. Also, I thought that if I was off, she would at least be willing to guide me...she knew this was my first time being with another woman. She literally just laughed at me. I feel so stupid, and like I failed. Most embarrassing moment of my life.
    I think I can enjoy a lesbian relationship. I want to date other women still...but now I'm gonna be 10x more nervous to have sex with a girl again. Any advice for how I can improve? Or any similar experiences? I REALLY do not want a repeat experience.

  2. #2
    Platinum Member maew's Avatar
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    Go slower next time and build trust first before having sex... you didnít know her and unfortunately she turned out to be a complete ... thatís a risk you take when having sex with a stranger.

    Wait until you get a sense of whether or not the person you are with will be patient and supportive before moving forward with physical intimacy.

  3. #3
    Platinum Member Rose Mosse's Avatar
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    It sounds like this happened recently, perhaps in the past week or this past weekend. Cool it for awhile and give yourself a break. You're putting the cart before the horse, so to speak. A connection shouldn't exclusively be about sex so you're already shooting yourself in the foot by limiting your thoughts there. It's about a lot more than that and you seem to already know that. You're just too embarrassed to think straight or come to your senses.

    Don't be too hard on yourself or too serious. People come and go. This person might even have laughed because she had the sensation of feeling tickled. Maybe she was high on something. Don't internalize it and let it go. Acknowledge your goof up also and misjudgment of character. If you're not into one night stands or casual flings and are actually looking to build on something more, stop lying to yourself. Things will fall into place. Just give yourself time to find the irony and lighten up, take things in stride. You'll be fine.

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    Well I think to just outright laugh is actually rude! I'm pretty sure I've never done that! And normally with any lover I do give feedback by saying what I prefer and guiding them.

    Regarding knowing what to do from doing it on yourself, I actually think that's not always the case. I think women can be very different in what they find pleasurable and seem to have different sensations. So to be honest even if you'd been with other women before, each woman may be different. So you'd just have to learn what every woman likes individually.

    Also I'm not sure if this interaction was going to go the way you both wanted anyway. She just wanted sex and it was your first time ever with a woman. You were still learning so of course you were not going to be like a skilled pro to pleasure her as an FWB. She probably had the wrong expectations of it.

    You were not looking only for sex anyway so you might be better off to look for women that actually want to date and can be patient with you. Have you used the HER dating app before? It's a female only dating app. I got quite a lot of matches on there so you might have luck there too. I think you gotta keep your options open and not worry too much what happened with only one woman.

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  6. #5
    Platinum Member Wiseman2's Avatar
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    Date women who aren't arrogant jerks. It's that simple. Strive for a relationship, if that's what you want. Always be honest about who you are, where you stand, and what you want.

  7. #6
    Platinum Member DancingFool's Avatar
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    Laughing at you or because of her own nerves and awkwardness? That's pretty much the trouble with jumping into bed with a complete stranger - there is no trust, no comfort, no communication, but lots of presumptions that are liable to be negative.

    Consider dating and building some level of comfort and trust with a person before you jump into bed with them. I think that alone will lead you to a completely different experience. Also, consider that people laugh for a lot of reasons that have nothing to do with you, including their own nervousness, embarrassment, awkwardness, etc. In short, don't just leap to assuming the worst and then beating yourself up over it.

  8. #7
    Platinum Member ThatwasThen's Avatar
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    She's an insensitive arse who shouldn't be getting with virgin lovers if she's going to be a d-bag about inexperience. PERIOD.

    Stop yourself from feeling bad and learn to ask for direction and if what you are doing is working for them. Communication is a two way street and with practice and confidence, you'll be a good lover in no time.

    In future, don't get into bed with perfect strangers... you'll feel much more confident if you know you are with someone who isn't an arse.

  9. #8
    Platinum Member Wiseman2's Avatar
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    If a guy made you feel this way during a sexual experience would you have stuck around? Well this is no different.
    Originally Posted by sambam4408
    She literally just laughed at me. I feel so stupid, and like I failed.

  10. #9
    Platinum Member figureitout23's Avatar
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    Originally Posted by DancingFool
    Laughing at you or because of her own nerves and awkwardness? That's pretty much the trouble with jumping into bed with a complete stranger - there is no trust, no comfort, no communication, but lots of presumptions that are liable to be negative.

    Consider dating and building some level of comfort and trust with a person before you jump into bed with them. I think that alone will lead you to a completely different experience. Also, consider that people laugh for a lot of reasons that have nothing to do with you, including their own nervousness, embarrassment, awkwardness, etc. In short, don't just leap to assuming the worst and then beating yourself up over it.
    I actually agree with this very much.

    All we have is your interpretation and given your own reservations due to your upbringing and combined with your nervousness who knows her mindset.

    Try to find a girl who is willing to explore a relationship with you, grow with you, appreciate you and your journey.
    Last edited by figureitout23; 08-07-2019 at 07:23 PM.

  11. #10
    Platinum Member LC8328's Avatar
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    Hey, don't let it discourage you. We've all had embarrassing and uncomfortable sexual experiences. From someone asking me "Am I in?" to me - ready to try another position - only to find that the man I was with had already "finished" and I didn't know it. But that's part of experience.

    I'm sorry she laughed. Your best bet is to keep moving on and like others said, maybe find someone you connect with first. I know it's super tempting to hook up with someone just because you dont' know when you'll get another opportunity, but try to fight that temptation. You'll be ok, I know it!

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