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Thread: Toxic relationship

  1. #11
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    Take your son and run for the hills.

  2. #12

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    Thank you everyone! Really thank you so much! I finally feel like I'm right in believing that its not ok and it shouldn't be like this.

    I will be making sure that we aren't involved with any of it anymore. I will be giving clear guildlines for contact reagrding our son and if I have to I will get the right authority's involved.

    I just want whats best for my son now

  3. #13
    Gold Member Cherylyn's Avatar
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    You need to get out now and stop taking his ______ whenever he persuades you to return to him.

    My late father beat my mother, gave her a black eye and knocked her teeth out several times. She kicked him out! He never paid child support. She worked 3 jobs 7 days a week in order to put food on the table and a roof over our heads. She successfully raised 3 children all by herself and didn't receive help from anybody. If my strong, tough mother can do it, so can you.

    Where there is a will, there is a way.

  4. #14
    Platinum Member shellyf62's Avatar
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    Originally Posted by bluecastle
    I am so sorry to hear about this. I am also so confident that you are doing the right thing.

    People don't change a whole lot, and those who do are people who enjoy changing, growing. He is not such a person. He is, as you don't need me to tell you, bad news. He is mean, manipulative, abusive, immature, and, if I'm reading correctly between the lines, an addict. He is not someone who should be anywhere near any children, including his own.

    In you—and I think you already know this, so I hope this doesn't come off as harsh—he found an enabler. Think of it like a zillion broken pieces in him connected to one or two inside of you, and that's the coal that fuels the connection. You owe it to yourself—and to your son—to better understand those two pieces inside yourself so you can protect your heart, and your son's heart, moving forward. That understanding will come with time, perhaps with therapy, and with the peace and quiet that you so need right now and that he is incapable of providing.

    Again, for emphasis: you have made the right choice.

    I know a woman who married a guy young, had a kid. Nice guy, but lost, wayward, dangerously so. Not abusive, but wildly irresponsible. What seemed early like a jovial appreciation of booze quickly started to look a lot like alcoholism. Cocaine followed, got bad. When she learned of the coke she made what was probably the hardest choice she's made—to end the marriage for the sake of her kid, who was then 4. She raised him well, in a world of love and security, while figuring out herself. She still had love for her ex—and probably still has some love today—but she loved herself more, and her son, to take those hard steps.

    That woman is my mother. I'm 39 now, and so very grateful, daily, for the choice she made.
    What a great post!!!

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