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Thread: 10 years 2 kids left me for another man advice please

  1. #11
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    Originally Posted by Wiseman2
    Do you want to work things out pr go separate ways?
    I want to work things out but at this point I think space and time is the best option. She has done a lot. The trust is not here I’m not healed and. Feel vulnerable. But I would like to work things out eventually. Especially with the rebound situation there isn’t much I can do

  2. #12
    Platinum Member smackie9's Avatar
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    Ask her exactly what she wants....if she waffles over it, then cut her off, and say "come see me when you make up your mind". If she does want to work it out there will have to be rules in place, like you both are going to start couples counseling, and spend more time being honest with each other, more quality time, etc.

  3. #13
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    Originally Posted by smackie9
    Ask her exactly what she wants....if she waffles over it, then cut her off, and say "come see me when you make up your mind". If she does want to work it out there will have to be rules in place, like you both are going to start couples counseling, and spend more time being honest with each other, more quality time, etc.
    Tried that approach as well it’s always “I don’t know what I want.” She is split between the rebound and I. I told her I will not be an option and if she wants to talk I am open.

  4. #14
    Platinum Member Wiseman2's Avatar
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    Is he the 'other man' or the new bf?
    Originally Posted by Empof401
    She is split between the rebound and I.

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  6. #15
    Gold Member Gary Snyder's Avatar
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    You two might be able to work things out but you need help - counseling. If she'll go there might be a chance. She has to stop cheating, and you two have to rebuild the love.

  7. #16
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    Originally Posted by Wiseman2
    Is he the 'other man' or the new bf?
    In my opinion new bf. She doesn’t put a title on it she’s just “going with the flow” we are broken up but he was there before hand. When I went through her messages she and him talk about how he was part of the reason she left and they were hanging out while we were still together. He is also a few months out of a long term relationship.

  8. #17
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    Originally Posted by Empof401
    In my opinion new bf. She doesn’t put a title on it she’s just “going with the flow” we are broken up but he was there before hand. When I went through her messages she and him talk about how he was part of the reason she left and they were hanging out while we were still together. He is also a few months out of a long term relationship.
    You have to go NC as much as possible. Not only for your own well being. It forces the reality of the situation upon her, to what ever outcome...you do your part which is NC, the rest will fall into place

  9. #18
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    I'd just try and stay civil when it comes to the kids and make reasonable arrangements.

    As for her why you would want her back? She's cheating and planned it while you were together. I cant work out if you said you cheated too. Either way I think you 2 are done.

  10. #19
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    Originally Posted by ninjabib
    I'd just try and stay civil when it comes to the kids and make reasonable arrangements.

    As for her why you would want her back? She's cheating and planned it while you were together. I cant work out if you said you cheated too. Either way I think you 2 are done.
    Because we have 2 children together and relationships face trials.

  11. #20
    Platinum Member reinventmyself's Avatar
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    Originally Posted by Wiseman2
    You can't ask someone to leave their own residence. You'll need a lawyer for that as well. So start by contacting a therapist and an attorney. You'll need them both in the future.
    You can ask, but it doesn't mean they have to.
    It doesn't hurt to ask before getting a lawyer involved. Some people will willing leave on their own. See if that a possibility first.

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