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Thread: Is he looking only for sex

  1. #1
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    Is he looking only for sex

    Hello All, I have a problem with a guy and I need your point of view. I met a guy online (tinder) we've been seeing each other for 1.5 month. In his bio he said he does not look for ONS/FWB, and when we started to talk I asked him and he said he's looking for relationship. He texts me every day, we go on dates. After 4 dates we shared passionate kiss. After that we met 2 times more. However, I know he's still using Tinder, I feel like he's not trying to get to know me on deeper level, he forgets things I told him, after this 4th date (kiss) he statted to do sweet talking ("I was thinking about you the whole night", using let names, etc.) he became touchy feely, flirty. I told him this relationship is too superficial and I need something more meaningful. He asked me if we can try to work it out. We've had more deep conversation - he said he had 2 long term relaitonships and now he would like to have a family. For me it seems he is just looking for something casual. What do you think?

  2. #2
    Platinum Member SherrySher's Avatar
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    Go with your gut instinct, if you can tell that he and you aren't close and that he is trying to get intimate with you based on nothing, then it's pretty straightforward where his head is at.

    You've described it pretty well. He's not interested in getting to know you as much as he says, he's forgetting things.

    He sounds like a player to be honest. You're also probably not the only one he's seeing.

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    I wasn't sure since for the first few meetings he would not even touch me, never invited me to his place, offered help with things when I needed it, was not making sexual references. However, you are right it looks likr he's a player.

  4. #4
    Platinum Member bluecastle's Avatar
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    Instead of deeming him a player, why not just deem him a guy you've gone on six dates with and aren't feeling? I mean, it doesn't sound like he's being aggressive or just trying to take you pants off, more like he's just not doing it for you, stirring the deep waters. He forgets what you tell him, talks in cliches—yawn.

    Maybe that's the relationship he wants with his future wife. Doesn't mean you have to be that, and doesn't mean he's a scam artist just because you're not feeling him. Cut the cord so you can find someone who excites you more—no need to blame it on the dude or make assumptions about him. From what you describe, it just sounds like you're not into him.

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  6. #5
    Platinum Member SherrySher's Avatar
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    1.) Still on Tinder

    2.) Isn't interested in remembering things she told him.

    3.) Sweet talks with no basis for it since he's barely made efforts to get to know her.

    You could be right, Blue, he's just a thoughtless, boring guy. But he could also be a player who is dating more than one woman and can't keep the stories straight.

  7. #6
    Platinum Member Annia's Avatar
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    He might be looking for a serious relationship but not with you. Or he might be playing you by sweet talking you the things he knows you want to hear. Go by his actions and not by his words alone.

  8. #7
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    Originally Posted by Annia
    He might be looking for a serious relationship but not with you. Or he might be playing you by sweet talking you the things he knows you want to hear. Go by his actions and not by his words alone.
    Maybe he just wants to keep me on a backburner. His actiins, well he texts me every day, ask me out on dates, offered me help, asks about my day etc.plus negative ones I mentioned
    Last edited by Karen1992; 08-06-2019 at 04:46 AM.

  9. #8
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    You're being too paranoid.

  10. #9
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    I understand. I agree that it’s unsettling when someone starts being affectionate and saying stuff like «I’ve been thinking of you all night» when they can’t even remember things you’ve said. It makes you wonder what exactly they were thinking about... lol!

    He could genuinely think of himself as a «relationship» kind of guy, he’s just dating too many people to get his stories straight. Or maybe he’s not ready. Or maybe he’s just telling you what he thinks you want to hear.

    ... but yes. Unless he took your chat as a wake-up call and suddenly turned things around, I would chalk this one up as «incompatible».

  11. #10
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    He texts you every day and didn’t kiss you until the fourth date but you think he just wants sex? You ALREADY are being pessimistic about him being touchy-feely?

    What sort of things did he forget that you told him?

    To be honest I think you should set him free.
    Last edited by Throwaway114; 08-06-2019 at 07:20 AM. Reason: Removed fragment of sentence that could be taken the wrong way

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