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Thread: Is he looking only for sex

  1. #21
    Platinum Member bluecastle's Avatar
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    I can't help but be curious: Why is his being on Tinder a knock, but it's okay for you to still be on Tinder? Why are you allowed to both take him seriously as a potential relationship partner while dating others, but even the assumption that he may be dating others is reason to write him off?

  2. #22
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    Originally Posted by Annia
    He might be looking for a serious relationship but not with you. Or he might be playing you by sweet talking you the things he knows you want to hear. Go by his actions and not by his words alone.
    Originally Posted by Wiseman2
    It sounds like after 6 weeks you still haven't had the exclusive talk. This is up to you to bring up when things get physical. People are free to meet and date others until that agreement takes place. Next time, keep in mind 6 dates is not a relationship. Dating is the time to get to know someone and if they're not your type, then you stop seeing them and move on.
    Originally Posted by bluecastle
    I can't help but be curious: Why is his being on Tinder a knock, but it's okay for you to still be on Tinder? Why are you allowed to both take him seriously as a potential relationship partner while dating others, but even the assumption that he may be dating others is reason to write him off?
    I am not telling him how much I miss him, making plans for holidays in September or call him honey and just after that chat with other guys on Tinder. As long as I date others I am more reserved with what I say/promise.

  3. #23
    Platinum Member bluecastle's Avatar
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    Fair enough. Sounds like he's just not your type, that you're not connecting as you'd like.

    In the future I would really suggest not using a dating app—someone's location, whether they're still "on it"—as a stand-in for face to face communication. Just about everyone I know—myself included, when I was dating—uses those apps almost as mindlessly as social media apps than using them with much intention. Heck, a lot of people swipe around just to keep their nerves in check when they're jittery and unsure of someone they're interested in.

    The small irony of these sorts of threads is that it's just as easy for me to imagine him writing the same exact thing about you: met a cool woman whom he likes, but who is a bit reserved and hard to read and still very active still on Tinder. Should he continue to engage, he'd ask, or cut bait because she's clearly not very interested or serious about him?

  4. #24
    Platinum Member reinventmyself's Avatar
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    Originally Posted by Karen1992
    I am not telling him how much I miss him, making plans for holidays in September or call him honey and just after that chat with other guys on Tinder. As long as I date others I am more reserved with what I say/promise.
    Gone are the days that people pull their profile when they meet someone they are interested in. If you are passively waiting for a sign then the moment may slip right by.
    Seeing you are mentioning that he's still logging on, I can only assume this is a sticking point for you. Yet you are logging on too (scratching my head)

    It's hard to tell if you even like this guy but if either of you want to take this to another level simply tell him you don't get involved with people who are still dating and looking to meet others. Though it's perfectly fine if either of you are, you simply are not looking for casual sex. By stating your standards you aren't asking him for anything. You are merely telling him something about you and your values.

    See what his response is

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  6. #25
    Platinum Member Rose Mosse's Avatar
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    It sounds like an unfortunate and unfulfilling connection. You're wasting your time immensely. Please cut it off and spend your time elsewhere. This person is clearly not doing it for you and the longer you hang around him, the more unimpressed you may become. It's unfair to the both of you. By unfortunate and unfulfilling, I'm referring to his seeking physical intimacy while failing to up the intellectual connection = lack of interest and confusion on your part.

  7. #26
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    Yes, I've been talking to him about us, he said he is talking only to me and it's obvious that we are dating so we are exclusive. I told him I know he's using Tinder (he didn't know you can check that). He was like 'uhm, yes, I sometimes open it but I don't use it'. Yeah, right... I would prefer if he admitted he use it.

  8. #27
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    Saying he's just talking to you does not equal exclusivity.

  9. #28
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    Originally Posted by Karen1992
    I wasn't sure since for the first few meetings he would not even touch me, never invited me to his place, offered help with things when I needed it, was not making sexual references. However, you are right it looks likr he's a player.
    Let me see if I got this straight. If a guy acts like a player, he's a player. If he doesn't act like a player, well, he's definitely a player.

    Don't date until you stop hating men.

  10. #29
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    ^ isn't it obvious that *all* men are scum? 😂

  11. #30
    Administrator kamurj's Avatar
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    Multiple accounts are not allowed. Thread closed.

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