Together 5 years, engaged for 4, ended a week ago

So pretty much I've struggled with alcohol abuse throughout my late 20s. I am now 31 and I still struggle with it. As a result of this, my relationship with her was at times really amazing, but when we were bad it was pretty toxic. I moved out a few weeks ago and we were going to try to rekindle everything as well as regain the passion, love, connection etc...however after my birthday I drank the next day and she found out. She basically told me where to stick it and I was drunk and responded back negatively to her over the following two days. We haven't talked since last Thursday and I have called a few times and left one voicemail, all unanswered. I guess I'm just here to find out where I stand with her, five years is a long time but I have bad anxiety that I really messed up after promising to never drink again. Does she just need time? Am I crazy to think we will just never talk again?

Also her daughter is 7, I've raised her since she was 2 and she calls me dad. Real dad was never there. So what should I do with that situation? I don't want to lose out on that either.