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Thread: Been with girlfriend for 11 months, out of the blue she is unsure of us?

  1. #11
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    I suppose thatís all I can do is be there and let her work through her confusion. Friday I was positive she was leaving me, but how she was on Saturday changed my mind. If her actions are anything to go by I think she is more positive at the moment towards us than what she was, which I suppose is promising. I will just as you say, remain grounded and let her decide what she wants. Thank you very much for your help

  2. #12
    Platinum Member bluecastle's Avatar
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    Happy to help. The goal is warm, you know? Not hot and cold. When I've found myself in your shoes, that's what I remind myself: not to put too much value on the hot and cold, but to see if warmth can be found again, and sustained. Sometimes it can. Sometimes the hot/cold whiplash is too much, unsustainable. These are the things you're exploring now. Time will show you the answers.

  3. #13
    Platinum Member Wiseman2's Avatar
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    Is she being treated for the mood swings? Does she or did she use drugs/ drink at this concert? Who are these city friends? It sounds like she's blowing in the wind, but still wants the security of living there.

    Does she work? Does she have family and friends nearby?

    When is your lease up? Discuss the practicalities of either you renew the lease or she moves out. Discuss how you are going to divide stuff up, who gets the dog, etc. It sounds like she heard from her ex or there may be someone else. The crazy whirlwind moving in and "meh, lets see how it goes" attitude was not a very auspicious beginning and going from fwb to roommates with benefits sounds unsatisfactory to her.

    It sounds like she wants more out of life than to play house on a 'lets see what happens' basis and therefore would rather be free to pursue life and perhaps more committed/interested men. Whatever the case don't just limp along. Make up your minds about moving out vs signing a lease.
    Originally Posted by NateB121
    -She kept saying ďI donít know, I donít even know what I feel right nowĒ that night she stayed at a friends saying she needs space.
    -She says to me that her two friends want to move 45 minutes up the road to a bigger city and she said she wants to as well
    -She said on Thursday night when I put my arms around her at the show she said she felt nothing

  4. #14
    Gold Member Gary Snyder's Avatar
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    Well you guys had a pretty lame beginning, with the fwb relationship. There might be other issues, but maybe she just does not love you very much?

    This could also be an issue:
    Could her depression / anxiety cause such severe mood swings like that?

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