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Thread: Not Interested?

  1. #1
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    Not Interested?

    Update from this previous post:



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    She didn’t end up sending any message so later that night around 8:00, I said screw it and sent her a message saying along the lines of “Hey didn’t know if you’d decided to leave tonight but we should definitely hang out if you aren’t!”

    Took her a little to get back to me but when she did she said “hey I am leaving tonight I’m so sorry!” And then I told her no worries and that we should plan to do something this coming week. Her response was “if I can! I’ll have to see how I’m feeling”

    Now she did mention the other night that she thought she had strep throat so I’m not sure if this is what she meant by “how I’m feeling”, but I just got the vibe that she didn’t want to hang out even after how she acted the previous couple of nights.

    Is she just not interested and I need to just quit wasting my time or could she just be busy? I’m pretty sure she went out of town with her grandparents so maybe there’s not much she could’ve done in terms of when she left, but I’d think someone would at least let the other person know so they aren’t sitting there waiting for an answer, especially after she viewed the posts I made on my story just an hour or so prior.

    Asked a couple of my buddies and one guy said just to let it go and that it sounded like she didn’t know what she wants, and another girl said just to stop overthinking it, sometimes people come around and just to wait for her.

    Obviously I’m just gonna wait and see if she decides to message me or say something at work. I just don’t really feel like playing any games or any of that so all advice helps.

    Thanks.
    Last edited by E98; 08-05-2019 at 02:46 AM.

  2. #2
    Gold Member Cherylyn's Avatar
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    She sounds flaky (unreliable).

    Don't wait around by putting your life on hold for her.

    If you don't like to play games, move on.

    She doesn't take you seriously so don't take her seriously either.

  3. #3
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    Originally Posted by Cherylyn
    She sounds flaky (unreliable).

    Don't wait around by putting your life on hold for her.

    If you don't like to play games, move on.

    She doesn't take you seriously so don't take her seriously either.
    Thanks. Would it be a bad idea to hang out should she bring it up sometime?

  4. #4
    Platinum Member Wiseman2's Avatar
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    Either you like her and get along and want to proceed with dating...or not. you don't need a judge and jury to decide. Ask her out in person one on one. She will say yes or no (variations of no are "busy, stressed, confused", etc). Unless it's yes and you have a specific date, time place consider that it's not a date and she's not that interested. Make sure you don't text and chitchat yourself into the friendzone or worse, male-girlfriend zone. Same with vague group hangouts.

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  6. #5
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    Originally Posted by Wiseman2
    Either you like her and get along and want to proceed with dating...or not. you don't need a judge and jury to decide. Ask her out in person one on one. She will say yes or no (variations of no are "busy, stressed, confused", etc). Unless it's yes and you have a specific date, time place consider that it's not a date and she's not that interested. Make sure you don't text and chitchat yourself into the friendzone or worse, male-girlfriend zone. Same with vague group hangouts.
    I’ll see her at work on Wednesday, so you think I should still ask her to hang out then? Even if she doesn’t mention it on Snapchat until then?

    I just don’t want to come off as thirsty or like I’m trying too hard.

  7. #6
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    Originally Posted by E98
    I’ll see her at work on Wednesday, so you think I should still ask her to hang out then? Even if she doesn’t mention it on Snapchat until then?

    I just don’t want to come off as thirsty or like I’m trying too hard.
    Why do you keep using the term "hang out"? I hang out with friends, not romantic prospects or dates.

  8. #7
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    Originally Posted by boltnrun
    Why do you keep using the term "hang out"? I hang out with friends, not romantic prospects or dates.
    Just the term I used when I initially asked her. I think she got the idea that it was a date from the messages we sent a few days ago.

    Would it be best if I mentioned “hey we still need to go out sometime” or something like that when I see her next?

  9. #8
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    Originally Posted by E98
    Just the term I used when I initially asked her. I think she got the idea that it was a date from the messages we sent a few days ago.

    Would it be best if I mentioned “hey we still need to go out sometime” or something like that when I see her next?
    I would not respond well to "we NEED".

    What's wrong with "There's a cool new café that just opened downtown. I'd love to take you there."

  10. #9
    Platinum Member Wiseman2's Avatar
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    Try not to put yourself in the friendzone with "hangouts" You're trying way too hard to come off as cool and ironically that's what could put you in the friendzone. Ask her out on a real one-on-one date if you want this to go anywhere.
    Originally Posted by E98
    I’ll see her at work on Wednesday, so you think I should still ask her to hang out then? I just don’t want to come off as thirsty or like I’m trying too hard.

  11. #10
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    Originally Posted by Wiseman2
    Try not to put yourself in the friendzone with "hangouts" You're trying way too hard to come off as cool and ironically that's what could put you in the friendzone. Ask her out on a real one-on-one date if you want this to go anywhere.
    Thank you!! I’ll be sure to word it as a date when we get some time alone this week.

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