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Ex Bf came back after a year and I am so confused.


MsLeeSee

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So it's been a year since my bf broke up with me. He broke things off because he was going through child custody battles and thought it would be selfish to string me along. The "pessimistic" me didn't believe it and settled on the fact that maybe he found someone better than me. No facts just assumptions. I never told him that but eventually I got over it.

 

So it's been exactly one year to date since we last seen or spoke to each other and I receive a "hey how you doing text" from him. It caught me off guard but nonetheless I was surprised to hear from him. So fast forward to now. It's been a few weeks and we talk and text everyday... Just small talk. He doesn't ever bring up the past. The way he talks to me is as if we never broke up. It's confusing to me but I try not to assume anything.

 

So the other night he was hanging out with his friends and family and got drunk. I know him well and he holds his liquor pretty well so I don't think we was out of his right mind. He texts me asking if I eat pork? When I told him yes he then begs me to meet his family (in the passed I introduced I'm to my family but he never introduced me to his, other than his sister I casually met and chatted with for a few minutes). I didn't understand why we wanted me to meet his family now. At this point I am so confused.

 

I asked him "why?" and his response "why not?" I'm confused because I haven't even been around him in person since we broke up. He doesn't act like he's trying to get back together with me he just acts as if we never broke up. I am so lost. What do you all think? My sister says that this is a classic example of a person who doesn't take me seriously, but it's hard to know that for a fact. What do u guys think?

 

Thanks in advanced!

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Why are you putting so much value in a few texts? Has he asked for a reconciliation? Has he asked to meet up? Have you even seen him? Why haven't you discussed the past? Why are not allowing these texts to continue without any answers?

 

I am not putting value into a "text" I'm literally going with the flow of things. I'm just confused to say the least. I ask questions in regards to our passed and he hits me with the "sorry if I'm giving off the wrong impression" so I literally just go with the flow and ignore thoughts of a reconciliation. Sorry if my msg is vague. I left a whole lot out I see.

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Why are you putting so much value in a few texts? Has he asked for a reconciliation? Has he asked to meet up? Have you even seen him? Why haven't you discussed the past? Why are not allowing these texts to continue without any answers?

 

Why waste your time?

 

Idk... Guess that's why I'm asking for advice on this forum lol. I'm just confused.

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If you want to reconcile and he doesn't then you are wasting your time and hurting yourself.

 

I never said I wanted a reconciliation. He reached out to me and invited me to meet his parents. I'm confused because he doesn't act like he wants me back. So why are u begging me to meet your parents? Closure? I just don't know.

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I never said I wanted a reconciliation. He reached out to me and invited me to meet his parents. I'm confused because he doesn't act like he wants me back. So why are u begging me to meet your parents? Closure? I just don't know.

 

So why are YOU interacting with him? What payoff are you getting from your communication with him?

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So why are YOU interacting with him? What payoff are you getting from your communication with him?

 

Why not? Im not bitter towards him. We have a positive past. I guess I was looking for advice or questions to ask him that he can't circle around as he has been. It's honorable to me to finally meet his parents and I often feel like it's a test to see if they like me, to determine if he wanted another chance with me. But I am an over thinker lol. Don't mind me.

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Since you are confused, it's time to have an in depth, thorough conversation with him preferably in person. Ask him what are his intentions? Does he want to be just friends? Does he wish to rekindle a boyfriend-girlfriend relationship now that his child custody battles are behind him? What's the deal? Be point blank and get straight answers from him.

 

No more guessing games. Get clear answers as to where this is going.

 

Then after that, you determine whether or not you're wasting your time and energy on him. That's what I think.

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Ask him if he wants you to meet his parents to determine if he wants another chance with you.

 

So when I asked him why he wanted me to meet his parents, here is his exact "text" response. He called me after and basically voiced the same thing.

 

"Look I'm not trying to hurt you. I'm not playing around. I'll admit a year ago, I just wasn't there. I had going on at work and at home. I'll be honest I wasn't fully invested in being in a relationship at that time. I didn't give my whole 100%. Didn't even try. I recently reached out because you were on my mind and I wanted to see how you been doing. At that time I decided I wanted to have you meet my family, to which you won't understand how much that would've meant to me. My family is very open to people. They know who you are and what happen between us. They don't judge, they don't care. They just want me happy"

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Despite his text, he's still unclear. Does he want you to meet his family for dinner because he wants you to be his friend or does he wish to rekindle a relationship with you? Get a straight up answer in order to prevent wasting your time and energy on him.

 

IMHO, it's huge whenever a man truly wants you to meet his family. I remember my husband was eager to introduce me to his family including his grandma! Usually, this honor and privilege is reserved for special people in a person's life and not privy to just casual friends. Nonetheless, you still need to have "a talk" with him and find out what his sincere intentions are with YOU.

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It says he is thinking about you but it doesn’t mean he wants to get back together. I read some analogy - sometimes, they just want to see what is your response rate. When your internet is slow and you’re trying to figure out if there is a problem with your internet connection, you can go to a website and it will “ping” you back a response. So sometimes exes are the same - just are just curious if you will ping back or how long it takes you, but they’re not interested in anything more serious.

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I never said I wanted a reconciliation. He reached out to me and invited me to meet his parents. I'm confused because he doesn't act like he wants me back. So why are u begging me to meet your parents? Closure? I just don't know.

 

Yet you posted this in the "Getting back together" forum.

 

You really don't want hum back?

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It says he is thinking about you but it doesn’t mean he wants to get back together. I read some analogy - sometimes, they just want to see what is your response rate. When your internet is slow and you’re trying to figure out if there is a problem with your internet connection, you can go to a website and it will “ping” you back a response. So sometimes exes are the same - just are just curious if you will ping back or how long it takes you, but they’re not interested in anything more serious.

 

LOL, makes sense. I'm a super slow texter so it took me about a day to reply.

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