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Thread: Becoming distant

  1. #1

    Becoming distant

    Hi,

    Iím not really one to write on forums but I really donít have anyone to turn to because there is people involved along every single step of the way. Basically I moved to a new site at work back in February March time. I started talking to this girl that works there and we got on really well, she broke up with her boyfriend about a month after we met. Nothing has ever happened too much between us but ever since like April May time we had literally spent every single day together doing different stuff, but always used to say to eachother nothing would ever happen and stuff. But we used to drive back from the beach and shed fall asleep on my arm etc. Anyway, the last 2 weeks Or so she has become so so distant, doesnít really want to see me too much, never really wants to chat, and itís just like a fingers snapped. She says everything is fine but she is just busy. And not being with her all the time has really made me realise I have feelings for her and really enjoy spending time with her. What do I do, tell her exactly how I feel and risk making things awkward at work? Or just let the whole thing drift away peacefully aha?

    Thanks

  2. #2
    Gold Member SarahLancaster's Avatar
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    What do you mean by "nothing has ever happened too much between us." You say you've spent every day together since April/May.

    Have you had any conversations about your relationship? What do you talk about? What do you do every day when you're together?

  3. #3
    Platinum Member Andrina's Avatar
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    She likes you as a friend, but sees you have a crush on her and she doesn't want to lead you on. Treat her like any other co-worker, and nothing more. Seek a gf outside of work. It's a lot less complicated, and you won't have to see an ex every day at work if it doesn't work out.

  4. #4
    Gold Member Gary Snyder's Avatar
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    Telling her you like her has no impact on her feelings, she does not care. It's not like you see in the movies.

    Find a woman to date who actually likes you. Nothing serious will ever happen unless they like you too.... and a lot......early.

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  6. #5
    Platinum Member smackie9's Avatar
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    It could be a few things...A) only sees you as a friend like Andria had posted, B) you waiting way too long to make a move, and that is a turn off, or C) yes she is busy, but with someone else and doesn't have to heart to tell you.

  7. #6
    Super Moderator HeartGoesOn's Avatar
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    I started talking to this girl that works there and we got on really well, she broke up with her boyfriend about a month after we met.
    If she broke up with her boyfriend to be with you, it appears history is repeating itself, as in the way you got them is the way you'll lose them.

    In addition to the above, dating in the work place is a huge risk as you're finding out.

  8. #7
    Platinum Member Wiseman2's Avatar
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    Sorry to hear this. It sounds like you were in the friendzone and a shoulder to lean on while she is on/off with her bf. Just treat her like a coworker and stop hanging out or chatting.

    Get on some dating apps and start messaging and meeting women. Make sure they don't just want to be friends. Avoid this by avoiding too much vague hanging out and too much texting, chitchat, etc.
    Originally Posted by Aaron2233
    I started talking to this girl that works there and we got on really well, she broke up with her boyfriend about a month after we met.

    Anyway, the last 2 weeks Or so she has become so so distant, doesnít really want to see me too much, never really wants to chat, and itís just like a fingers snapped.

  9. #8
    Silver Member waffle's Avatar
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    Originally Posted by Aaron2233
    . . . but always used to say to each other nothing would ever happen and stuff.
    Well there you go. What was the reason why one or both of you didn't want anything to happen?

  10. #9
    Gold Member Cherylyn's Avatar
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    Her dismissive attitude is a message to you. Yes, let the whole thing drift away peacefully. She has since changed her mind and reconsidered anything to do with you. I'm sorry. She lost interest and already moving on as should you.

    There is no rhyme nor reason regarding why people behave the way they do. I always give people what they want and don't force it. If they're friendly, great, so am I. If they're standoffish, I back off and give them what they want.

    She is acting rude and disrespectful towards you so return the favor and simply leave her alone. Go your own way, do your own thing, remain professional, polite and civil yet keep a safe distance. Go to work, earn your paycheck and go home.

  11. #10
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    She broke up with her bf and you filled a void in her life by still getting to do date like activities until she got over her ex.

    She has moved on from him and now ready to get on with her life independently. She doesnít need you anymore. She is correct when she says there is nothing wrong. Sheís busy getting back to her life. Likely reconnecting with friends , getting back into the things she used to enjoy.

    Why did you drop everything to hang out with a girl you barely knew everyday??
    Where are your friends?


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