Facebook share
LinkedIn share
Google plus share
Twitter plus share
Give Advice
Ask For Advice
Page 2 of 3 FirstFirst 123 LastLast
Results 11 to 20 of 21

Thread: My BF almost cheated on me... with a guy!!!

  1. #11
    Platinum Member Wiseman2's Avatar
    Join Date
    Apr 2016
    Location
    Cloud Nine
    Posts
    34,330
    Gender
    Male
    Sorry to hear this. Did you move out? The first thing you need to do is stop having sex and get to a doctor for STD testing. The next is getting a job, your own financial adviser and getting out of this.

    He never volunteered this info, you happened upon it. That means what you know is the tip of the iceberg. Notice also that he blames it on you (we were fight). You're in denial at this point and because he's bought your compliance, you're in too deep.

    Learn what you're up against, considering you have just begun to scratch the surface of his web of lies. : [Register to see the link]
    Originally Posted by lees83
    he had messaged a guy that he was super horny and wanted to get together. He had even rented a room to get some alone time. This was the weekend he told me he was having car problems and trying to fix it.

  2. #12
    Platinum Member
    Join Date
    Dec 2007
    Posts
    21,165
    I have had two different friends whose father FINALLY came out gay, twenty years into the marriage. The men knew since childhood that they were gay, but could not accept. The pain the families had to deal with due to the deceit was incredible. We do not know if he is gay or bi, but the boldness of his emails strongly suggest that he has been with men.

    The betrayal and lies in this situation is unforgivable.

    OP, I still do not get why you would give your career to stay at home all day? You lost yourself in all of this.

  3. #13
    Platinum Member
    Join Date
    Nov 2008
    Posts
    23,957
    Gender
    Female
    Originally Posted by Billie28

    Has he cheated on you? Emotionally yes. Physically it seems no.

    I wouldn’t automatically label him as a cheater.
    ^^^^^^I would

  4. #14
    Platinum Member
    Join Date
    Nov 2008
    Posts
    23,957
    Gender
    Female
    Even if he were as straight as an arrow and he was NOT cheating, the love bombing, the boundary crossing are big warning signs of potential abuse as well. this was bad out of the gate

  5.  

  6. #15
    Platinum Member SherrySher's Avatar
    Join Date
    May 2016
    Posts
    5,618
    I agree, emotionally cheating is still cheating, imho.

  7. #16
    Platinum Member Jibralta's Avatar
    Join Date
    Mar 2016
    Posts
    4,418
    Gender
    Female
    Originally Posted by lees83
    One email stood out to me. “Are you available?” I was like hmm. And it was a very recent email. Come to find out it was the time we had an argument about his traveling jobs. But he had messaged a guy that he was super horny and wanted to get together. He had even rented a room to get some alone time. This was the weekend he told me he was having car problems and trying to fix it. And said he couldn’t go anywhere. The guy he wanted to hang out with was busy and said he couldn’t make it. Maybe another time.
    I would consider this cheating, even if the other guy was unavailable and they weren't able to meet. Your boyfriend clearly had the intent to hook up with him while in a committed relationship with you. The only thing that stopped him in this case was that the guy was unavailable. In other words, not his commitment to you.

    This is just the email that you saw. There could be dozens or even hundreds of communications that you haven't seen and never will.

  8. #17
    Platinum Member
    Join Date
    Dec 2007
    Posts
    21,165
    Originally Posted by abitbroken
    ^^^^^^I would
    So would I.

  9. 08-03-2019, 11:52 AM

  10. #18
    Gold Member Gary Snyder's Avatar
    Join Date
    Jul 2016
    Location
    Land of Wind & Ghosts
    Posts
    1,321
    What difference does it make if he's bi or gay? He tried to cheat and lied about it. Isn't that bad enough?

  11. #19
    Platinum Member
    Join Date
    Dec 2007
    Posts
    21,165
    Some will continue thinking they can work things through if it is another woman. It is impossible to compete with another man.

    The bottom line: the dude cheated on you! It is also not a "dumb thing," it is who he is. Wake up!

    OP, where are you?

  12. #20
    Platinum Member
    Join Date
    Nov 2008
    Posts
    23,957
    Gender
    Female
    Originally Posted by Jibralta
    I would consider this cheating, even if the other guy was unavailable and they weren't able to meet. Your boyfriend clearly had the intent to hook up with him while in a committed relationship with you. The only thing that stopped him in this case was that the guy was unavailable. In other words, not his commitment to you.

    This is just the email that you saw. There could be dozens or even hundreds of communications that you haven't seen and never will.
    Yeah -- if he started opening up emotionally at work to someone - kind of as a shoulder to cry on = that could evolve into emotional cheating. Setting up a date,propositioning someone is cheating cheating even if the other person couldn't make it. And i bet that there was more than this one "potential date". its just the only one he got caught arranging.

  13. 08-03-2019, 05:51 PM

Page 2 of 3 FirstFirst 123 LastLast

Give Advice
Ask For Advice

Tags for this Thread

Posting Permissions

  • You may not post new threads
  • You may not post replies
  • You may not post attachments
  • You may not edit your posts
  •