Facebook share
LinkedIn share
Google plus share
Twitter plus share
Give Advice
Ask For Advice
Page 3 of 3 FirstFirst 123
Results 21 to 29 of 29

Thread: Girlfriend misgenders me..

  1. #21
    Platinum Member
    Join Date
    Nov 2008
    Posts
    23,938
    Gender
    Female
    Okay - so you were the exact same person as you were last year and you have decided that you have no gender.
    If you are upset your girlfriend, who has known you as female all this time calls you by your birth name and says 'she', you want to die on that hill?
    You are the exact same person with the same appearance. nothing has changed about you.
    People who changed their name when they became famous still are called by their original name by their Grandma. I am sure Lady Gaga's grandma called her Stephanie and not Gaga. So ease up a little on her.

    Have you sought counseling to work through your issues before insisting everyone calls you 'it"?

  2. #22
    Platinum Member ThatwasThen's Avatar
    Join Date
    Feb 2013
    Location
    Central Canada
    Posts
    13,644
    Gender
    Female
    Originally Posted by Tinydance
    Well people don't always stay the same gender their whole life.
    SOME people don't always stay the same gender their whole life I understand. They change. (Don't understand people like Kaitlin Jenner though who just get boobs and keep their penis... Now to me, that's being "fluid.")

    Sometimes people realise they are transgender later in life. Especially older people become another gender later on because it wasn't accepted in the past. Now they feel they can transition to the gender they really want to be.
    Again I understand that and they have the operation and take the hormones. They are not a woman one day and a man the next.

    Yes it is probably difficult to get used to it but for the sake of the person e.g. partner, effort needs to be made to make them feel valued as the new person they are. I mean deep down they are still the same personality.
    I agree and I think it goes both ways. Perhaps the Op should be a tad more understanding try not to get so bent out of shape because her GIRLFRIEND likes to refer her as her girlfriend so until they invent a term for the partner of someone fluid, (Hi, this is my Fuidfriend?) what is the big deal calling her her girlfriend when she is by gender in the definition of the word "woman", a girl?

    BTW: Thank you for your reply and explanations.

  3. #23
    Platinum Member mustlovedogs's Avatar
    Join Date
    Feb 2016
    Posts
    3,961

    Girlfriend misgenders me..

    Originally Posted by ThatwasThen
    SOME people don't always stay the same gender their whole life I understand. They change. (Don't understand people like Kaitlin Jenner though who just get boobs and keep their penis... Now to me, that's being "fluid.")

    Again I understand that and they have the operation and take the hormones. They are not a woman one day and a man the next.

    I agree and I think it goes both ways. Perhaps the Op should be a tad more understanding try not to get so bent out of shape because her GIRLFRIEND likes to refer her as her girlfriend so until they invent a term for the partner of someone fluid, (Hi, this is my Fuidfriend?) what is the big deal calling her her girlfriend when she is by gender in the definition of the word "woman", a girl?

    BTW: Thank you for your reply and explanations.
    You’re being very rude, for the record.

    Your opinion WRT the OP is irrelevant. OP doesn’t define as either gender, and that’s their choice.

    It’s not invented, it’s becoming pretty common. You’re coming off as quite bigoted so if I were you I’d quit arguing.

  4. #24
    Gold Member SarahLancaster's Avatar
    Join Date
    Jul 2016
    Location
    Florida Panhandle
    Posts
    685
    Gender
    Female
    Originally Posted by mustlovedogs
    You’re being very rude, for the record.

    Your opinion WRT the OP is irrelevant. OP doesn’t define as either gender, and that’s their choice.

    It’s not invented, it’s becoming pretty common. You’re coming off as quite bigoted so if I were you I’d quit arguing.
    It's equally 'rude' to call someone a bigot because she cannot adjust to this modern lunacy of changing genders, which by the way, is impossible. If 'gender' is however you feel on a particular day, you'll need to come up with a new term, because gender has always referred to male or female. Even in Latin-derivative languages, 'gender' is about male and female words.

  5.  

  6. #25
    Platinum Member figureitout23's Avatar
    Join Date
    Apr 2017
    Posts
    4,399
    OPer, I’m so sorry you are experiencing these responses. This is an LGBT board so those who do not agree/understand really shouldn’t visit it, yet here they are showing their prejudice.

    Today, I am ashamed of this site...

  7. #26
    Platinum Member
    Join Date
    Jan 2015
    Posts
    11,810
    "Lunacy" is an opinion.

    I know people who were born one gender but identify as another. Who am I to decide they are "lunatics"?

    I didn't read that the OP is robbing the elderly or abusing children. They just feel a certain way. So why tell them the way they feel about their own gender is "lunacy"??

    OP, can you explain to your girlfriend how upset this makes you?

  8. #27
    Platinum Member LC8328's Avatar
    Join Date
    May 2013
    Posts
    1,072
    Gender
    Female
    Originally Posted by Tinydance
    I don't want to start any arguments here but you are all being quite rude and disrespectful. I'm bisexual and have lots of other GLBTIQ friends and yes, non-binary is a gender and YES people can identify as "them" and YES that is THEIR choice. Being non-binary and bisexual is entirely different. Non-binary is a gender, not a sexuality. You are all being quite ignorant and rude to this person who asked for support.
    Yes, totally this. I'm amazed with the kind of response OP's getting here.

    It's not absurd to refer to a single person as they. There are millions who go through this all around the world, sometimes secretly due to ignorance and being bullied by others.

    OP, maybe calling you her GF is a habit that can and will change over time. Have you two spoken extensively about this? As in, even if it pains you both? This is a major change for her as well. I'm not in any way trivializing what you are going through and I congratulate you on finding yourself. I just think however, any person in any relationship needs to consider their partner in major life decisions. This is obviously one of them. Not that your gender or identification depends on what she thinks, but at least for her to be let in on the thought processes and so forth because I know such a thing is a process.

    I also think you should cut her some slack and not take it personally. This is new for her as well. Now if you find out that she is uncomfortable with your gender identification, you may want to think about ending your relationship so you both can find someone else. Good luck with this.


    And FIO said it best... this is literally an LBGTQ board! Yes we are all entitled to our opinions... but for some of you who obviously are *that* uncomfortable with this topic, why even jump on here? Someone is asking for help and saying things like how ridiculous the whole notion is, is not only off-topic but extremely harmful to people who are already undergoing some very extreme situations.

    I'm going to stop before I get flagged. I'm just, in shock and very sad tonight.

  9. #28
    Platinum Member sophie274's Avatar
    Join Date
    Mar 2006
    Posts
    5,035
    OP - this is your girlfriend as in your romantic partner, yes?

    It sounds to me like she has not fully understood or accepted your coming out and how important these pronouns - as a recognition of your identity - are to you. What you describe sounds more like a refusal to use your pronouns than her simply forgetting, although the only way to be sure is to ask her. I would suggest an honest conversation letting her know how you feel, and exploring the issue. I’m concerned that she may not be ready or willing to accept your gender identity, in which case you’ll have to decide what that will mean for your relationship.

    As you can see from the responses on here, this sort of situation is still widely misunderstood. Perhaps you can get better advice or support from a forum that deals more specifically with gender identity and coming out as transgender/gender non-conforming. Good luck, and I hope your girlfriend can be more supportive in the future.

  10. #29
    Super Moderator Capricorn3's Avatar
    Join Date
    Apr 2009
    Posts
    14,682
    Under review.

Page 3 of 3 FirstFirst 123

Give Advice
Ask For Advice

Tags for this Thread

Posting Permissions

  • You may not post new threads
  • You may not post replies
  • You may not post attachments
  • You may not edit your posts
  •